two individuals have submitted a confession.

they contend that they are the reason the golf carts at reunions now feature locks and chains. because they engaged in behavior too despicable to recall. they promise to do better.

we’ll know them only as whig and clio. of the matter, they say:

clio: we apologize most to the golf cart manager. a kind man.

whig: we have undeniably left our mark on campus and university culture, though. i’m not saying we’re woodrow wilson, but …

clio: who?