I’ve been procrastinating on the book layout for five months.
In the photo, there’s less than half of the project. The book has to be finished before the dictator dies.
I finally felt a strong impulse
to speed up.
Trump is doing fucked-up shit and will probably get away with it. I’m honestly in shock at how much awful stuff has already happened in just the first three days of 2026. What the fuck is coming next?
All my conscious life I followed a Russian tradition: while the countdown to midnight is going on (60 seconds), you have to write a wish on a piece of paper, burn it, dissolve it in a glass of champagne, and drink it. As you can imagine, the paper never had time to burn completely, so you had to swallow it 😄. I used to think that if I didn’t do this, the universe would collapse 😄. And this year I forgot about it and didn’t make a wish. I feel this as a liberation from conventions and patterns. Our wishes will come true even without rituals. Happy New Year, friends
Hey , Guys, I’ve noticed that a lot of people have kind of lost the motivation to be here. On one hand, I really miss many of my friends here and our conversations, but on the other hand, it’s so hard to make myself show up regularly when the motivation just isn’t there…
Just know that I miss you all 🤗
My friend’s new song deeply resonated with me and it made me want to dust off a video I made ten years ago.
Due to a series of circumstances, many months ago it felt as if I was pulled out of a film where I was the main character and placed into a low budget spin off. In that spin off, I’m not even a supporting character, but an episodic one, someone left behind just to watch the film being made.
This was especially painful for my egocentric personality type, which depends so strongly on being reflected in the outside world and in other people.
I decided to stop resisting and begin exploring who I am without actions, without productivity, without an audience, and without a grand drama that could justify my existence.
Song : The wolves will take everything, down to the last love. Wolves, they will only leave us alone when we are dead. Gray wolves.
How I long to return home to my friends, with whom we used to create together. Right now, I’m going through the experience of complete solitude because of my emigration, but on the bright side, I’ve completed my first major self-portrait project, which I hope to publish as a book soon. By the way, Lina, the one on the right, has finished her many years of education and now works as a psychiatrist specializing in addiction
