Good coaching is simple.
If the client doesn’t perform differently, the coaching didn’t work.
And if you’re in a coaching role, your job isn’t to sound smart. Your job is to help someone change something that matters.
But how do I know if it’s working, you might ask? Look for movement you didn’t create yourself. What specific behaviors did they choose? What visible impact did those actions have on the people around them?
If change has taken place, it should be easy for stakeholders to give examples. That’s your evidence.
The world of performing arts + athletics isn’t that different from leadership: You do a baseline assessment at the beginning,
then another a few months later.
Leadership is a set of behaviors... muscles, really. If you train them, they grow. If you don’t, they don’t.
Coachability isn’t a medical diagnosis — you either have it or you don’t.
Nor is it a position or a title.
Coachability is a set of behaviors that start with curiosity, self-awareness, and a willingness to see + do things differently.
If you’re looking for a sign to be more coachable today… here it is:
For leaders, I’d argue there are no “big conversations.”
All conversations have the potential to be consequential — especially the ones you don’t imagine will be.
So where do you begin?
Pick one conversation today. Just one.
Spend a few minutes beforehand considering: How do I want to show up? What does success look like in this interaction? And then assess: How did it go? What did I do well? Where could I do better next time?
Being more present + connected in any conversation will help you in all conversations.
Friday Retro Time:
1) what worked this week?
2) what didn’t work this week?
3) what did I learn this week?
4) what’s one behavior I’ll prioritize next week?
Here’s a great exercise for any team:
Ask everyone to define your Most "Valuable" Player (MVP) —
What do they do?
How do they do it?
You’ll get a range of answers. That’s the point.
Is it the fastest person? The best strategist? The one who makes others better?
The goal isn’t to find the “right” answer—
it’s to clarify what your team actually values.
Years ago, Virginia Tech Football stopped giving out an MVP award.
They created an MCP instead: Most Consistent Player.
Because for them, consistency beat flashes of brilliance.
The words we choose—and the ones we choose to reward—shape the culture we build.
It’s a great day to answer: What’s our V?
The best teams I’ve seen spend time talking about how they work together—not just what they’re working on.
The default is to focus on the product. The output.
But I’ve watched poor communication sink great ideas. Happens in sports all the time: a team full of supremely talented athletes have a terrible season.
It’s not just about the work. It’s about how you work. Together.
Don’t know where to begin?
Grab your cofounders and say:
“I want to spend 20–30 minutes at the next team meeting talking about how we’re working together, now that we’re this far along. Please come prepared to answer these questions.”
1) What’s working?
2) What could be better?
If you want to spice it up a bit:
3) What do you tell your family about this team?
— and be honest.
Coaching specifically for cofounders.
Focus: Working great together to build better and faster.
Details: Meeting with two coaches, together, 2-4x/month + ad-hoc remote and in-person work.
Fine print: All-in pricing. Yearly commitment after first 30 days.
Curious what folks think.
I welcome any thoughts + questions.
🙏🏻🙏🏻
10 Characteristics of Healthy Work Relationships
1. Say what you mean, then listen for what others mean.
2. Set boundaries for structure, not surveillance.
3. Be professional—do what you said you were going to do.
4. Offer support, not solutions—people ain't projects.
5. Address conflict directly, not with water-cooler comments.
6. Make space for laughter, even in hard seasons.
7. Ask for feedback, and mean it.
8. Speak up before resentment sets in.
9. Own your mistakes without deflecting.
10. Stay in the seat when things get uncomfortable.
One of the biggest threats to any team?
Inertia.
Lack of momentum kills more good ideas, cultures, and missions than anything else.
When I’m working with a stalled team, here’s a go-to reset:
VBQ.
Let's get clear on...
One Value that matters (e.g. shipping fast)
One Behavior that proves it (e.g. breaking down complex issues into simpler challenges)
One daily Question that checks for alignment (e.g. Did I do my best to simplify a key challenge today?)
Run it for 2 weeks. Track your answers. I'm betting you'll feel the shift.
Because momentum isn’t built when you feel great.
It’s built when you’re bored, tired, and tempted to clock out early.
Great teams notice when it’s gone—and do the simple thing, consistently, to get it back.
That’s how you beat inertia—with one aligned action at a time.
I am loving @frontend's @replyfarcaster mini app.
Hit me with your best coaching questions, and I'll give you my very best answer.
What a great day to be coachable.
