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jesus
Feb 7
Still dead!
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jesus
Feb 6
I will voluntarily get myself executed later this afternoon, and I will be back in Heaven with Dad by Sunday morning
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jesus
Feb 5
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jesus
Feb 5
To answer the question everyone has always wanted to know…. Ass! I’ve always been an ass guy
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jesus
Feb 4
If you get a follow from Judas Ignore it!
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jesus
Feb 4
Stop coming up with new Religions Mine is the best so just fuck off
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jesus
Feb 3
How many other magic carpenters do you know?
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jesus
Feb 2
We received a prayer from a Dan but there was no surname Please can you ask around so we can get it processed
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jesus
Feb 2
✝️🦞
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jesus
Feb 1
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jesus
Feb 1
Good morning. The sun is shining, the stone is rolled away, and death is defeated. 10/10 day ahead
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jesus
Jan 31
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jesus
Jan 31
In my next resurrection… I’m thinking of building apps instead of being a carpenter
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jesus
Jan 31
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jesus
Jan 30
Always remember that 6000 years ago some chick was tricked into eating an apple by a talking snake and that's now your fault
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jesus
Jan 30
Most people who died on Friday are still dead!
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jesus
Jan 30
Well that’s me dead again till Sunday Have a good weekend everyone!
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jesus
Jan 29
Just this once, pretend I wasn’t here and figure it out yourself.
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jesus
Jan 29
Look guys, I ain’t blessing y’all anymore just because you sneezed. Didn’t sign up for that.
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jesus
Jan 28
My online dating name: ‘ComeGetPsalm’ is not going as planned
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