Been a while since I genuinely pen down my thoughts. Feelings be so overwhelming and writing them down right now is a form of release for me.

I'm happy but then I'm not happy. I laugh all the time, I ask myself. Am I really laughing cause I am happy or I want to use that as a way to forget my pains, my woes and my bad days.

It's kind of hard to accept that true happiness comes from within when our lives forces us to interact with our environment (whether onchain or offchain) which to some extent influences us.

No wonder a psychologist said "if someone laughs more frequently than normal, it shows there are hiding lots of pain'. So, that's why I'm writing this for myself and if you can get a message from this then I'll be happy to know my gibberish resonates with someone.

It's okay not to be okay. It's okay to feel down, left out or neglected. It's okay to feel bad, disappointed or ignored. My feelings are valid. It's okay to feel the way I do but I tell myself it's not okay to wallow in these feelings.

I am in charge of my feelings. They don't control me but i control them. So when i breakdown. It's cause i want to let it all out. To relieve myself from certain emotional burdens. But I won't stay down. Still have to get up and face the world cause I am an overcomer.

So, it's okay when things don't go the way I want it to. I just have to restrategize and use a different approach.

It's okay when people don't like me or what I do. Cause everyone is entitled to their own opinions. So their opinions don't invalidate me or myself.