A friend of mine who dropped out of Beijing Institute of technology to start a business and has now opened a second company once sent me this sentence on the third day he met me: if you are better than most people around you, you should change your circle of friends. This reminds me of playing table tennis when I was very young. At that time, playing table tennis was still our most frequent entertainment. For a long time, I was at the top level in our yard, until one day a group of children who had been trained in the team joined our round robin after training. As a result, I was beaten and abandoned by these experts. At that time, the game was still a 21 point system, and I often got only 1-5 points in one game. How can I stand it? Once I lost, I really lost my face. In a rage, I threw the racket out and sat on the bench and began to cry. At that age, I really couldn't understand the fun of the game when I kept losing. Even when a brother next to me told me this sentence, I couldn't understand: what's the meaning of always playing with weaker opponents? It's only interesting to play with stronger ones. The truth in life is such a thing. When you were young, you heard that the same words had worn out your ears in the growth history of more than ten years or even decades, and even used this statement to comfort others for many times. However, this does not mean that you really understand these truths. Until you really know the reasoning process of these truths or realize them by yourself, they will really work. This is why it is useless or even harmful to just accept passively, because you seem to understand, but in fact you are not convinced. The next time the same dilemma needs this way of thinking to solve the problem, you will still be confused. In many people's ideas, the concept of friend should have nothing to do with the secular world, so we should not pay attention to too many objective elements when making friends, and should not make it seem very material. Further exploring the theory of what a friend is and what a friend can do, the public will have more theorems. What friends should help each other and never give up... In fact, I have no intention of subverting many of the above conclusions, nor do I intend to treat friendship as a transaction and exchange based on material. Even if we only talk about making friends, it is an indisputable thing to know more friends who are stronger than ourselves. During such a long period of my life, I have found that the greatest help that friends can give me is precisely irrelevant to money, material, or even some specific thing, or the company and comfort in pain. The most precious and powerful wealth they can give is the three words - possibility. Possibility is a kind of thing. When it appears around you, what it gives you is no longer the repetition and entanglement, hesitation and hesitation on small issues, but a chance to surpass the existing and a weapon to turn the whole situation around. When this thing exists, you will find that what your close friends usually provide is not as important as you think. They are important, but not so indispensable. Compared with these, the possibility of transcending the real dilemma is much more important. When you really know a person who seems to exist only in the legend beyond the previous imagination, you will gain a great kind of spiritual power. This power originates from the original curiosity and unyielding of life: what, is there really someone who can do this, and this person is right in front of my eyes? When a person appears in front of you in this posture, your definition of yourself and many things around you will change fundamentally, and this change is your opportunity to soar. I believe everyone has had such an experience - whether it is in the study of a certain subject, the handling of a certain job or the mastery of a certain skill - you think hard, discuss hard with people around you and work hard, but the results you have achieved are far less than one tenth of those of the person you meet one day. Or, you simply haven't met this person at all, so that you think you are very powerful, so in this narcissism, you interrupt the efforts and possibilities for further progress. Until one day, when the real battle comes, you find that your achievements are only one hundredth or one thousandth of that of a person... Then try again? It's too late. When you repeatedly make mistakes in a matter, repeatedly get lucky, repeatedly fish for three days and dry the net for two days, so that problems and mistakes continue to occur, who should you ask. Ask people around you? You are surrounded by people of similar level and abilities. Maybe some of them have made some progress in some skills, but such progress is not enough to make you change dramatically. In a relatively mediocre environment, a wrong method may make you ranked first, but this does not mean that you are really excellent, let alone excellent. If you want to be completely shocked and have a completely subversive feeling, you need to take the initiative to find or one day be forced to meet an unimaginable strong man. He used his unimaginable skills and knowledge to make you realize how worthless you were before. And then, what kind of thoughts do you have? If your idea is: Wow, he is really good, good, but he is a genius, he is not me. Please close this page. I'm sorry to waste about 180 seconds. This article was not written for you. If your idea is: Wow, he's really good. But why is he so powerful? Can I? What can I do? Congratulations, we are the same kind of people in this idea. From small to large, I lived in the blind worship of genius until I really knew genius, and gradually found a thing that may not be the truth but must be of referential significance, that is, I am afraid that not many talents are completely born - or even if they are born, if you don't, it has nothing to do with you. In other words, if you have, but you feel that you are not a genius, and your actual talent has not been brought into play, then you need to think about how to tap this possible talent. Or, even if you really don't have any talent, you need to think about what you should do in order to catch up with the talent in the field. Well, there's a lot of talk here, I know. If the talents of genius are not completely gifted, or even not gifted at all, where do they come from? In my opinion, I'm afraid it comes from being influenced by others, or even taking it for granted. As far as all the outstanding talents I know in all walks of life are concerned, none of them has become a genius like the legend of "Heaven falling". They have achieved the results today because they have spent a long time or a great deal of effort in their field because of the habit they have been exposed to or the compulsion of their parents. Therefore, if you do not pay as long or as much effort as they do, you subjectively assume that they are "geniuses", that you are not "geniuses", and that you cannot be excellent. Where do you come from? This is the first possibility given by those excellent people: first of all, they may not be from heaven. Second, you may also be a "genius", but you have been buried for a long time. Of course, the most important thing is that they can show a truth that people close to you can't show, that is, a person can do this. A person two years younger than you has participated in the investment plan of more than a billion dollars? A child who is three years younger than you and has a similar family background will earn millions from his stock? A man your age has become the deputy editor in chief of a famous magazine? Or, let's take a more obscene example. A weak boy who is not tall, handsome and ten kilograms thin actually reads countless women... (don't have applause here) why? Why? Why? Think about it. You are shocked, frightened, enraged, intimidated, I understand, I know, I understand, I am experiencing it. How did this happen? Why can the same person do this? When I really, truly and thoroughly know that someone can create miracles without any advantage over me, the fire of winning in my heart will be completely ignited. Let you really understand the possibility of a thing, the possibility of victory, the possibility of transcendence, and you will be completely activated. You will fall into the impossible confusion, the trap of self denial, and then in this low mood, you will welcome balderdash, mantra, and self redemption. Then you will push your previous goal forward ten steps, increase your upper limit by 50, and upgrade your requirements for yourself in any detail a hundred times - otherwise, how can you have the opportunity to approach others? Finally, you will find that you have made progress, not a little progress, but super progress. Maybe you still have a big gap with the possible host, but you are much stronger than before, far beyond your imagination. Just as the quote from Kobe Bryant may be disdained by some people, the quote from Peng Ying may also be controversial. But I still want to copy one of her words to show a common fact: when I work 40 hours a week, I can't imagine how people who work 60 hours live; And when I work 60 hours a week, I can't imagine what people who work 80 hours a week do; Now that I'm working 80 hours a week, I'm thinking about how those people who work 100 hours a week do it. Yes, maybe you can think that people who work 100 hours a week are monsters, machines, or do not understand life. But think about your future. Now that you have read this, I believe you are also a person with ambition, dreams and goals. When the goal you want to achieve is reached by someone dozens of times faster than you, or when you reach it, others have already achieved it for a long time. When reality beats you black and blue, shatters your ideals, and defeats your illusions, how can you tell your dreams: "I've tried my best"? Just like the "I said" I just sent a few days ago, I once convinced myself under the guise that I would only live a plain and indifferent life in the future, and even believed it for a long time. But when the real facts came to my face, I found that I could not accept them. I can't accept being crushed by others, I can't accept the expression of being ignored by others, I don't want to live a vulgar and plain life, I don't want to worry about not being able to buy what I want, I don't want to be separated because I can't cross the material gap with my lover, I don't want to suffer for some problems that can be solved with money, I don't want to taste the bitterness of losers, I don't want to be surrounded by the voice of doubt, and I don't want to just talk about those distant dreams, I don't want to be like those middle-aged people around me when I eat barbecue. I can only shout two words when I eat barbecue and drink too much: I was a bull! So later, I gradually made clear what kind of person I was, what kind of life I wanted to live, and what principles I had, including that I never made friends with people who had no other advantages, were even inferior to myself, and had very low self-requirements. This is not a matter of vulgar worldly sophistication and utilitarianism, but of knowing what you want. In fact, my reason is very simple: I think I have ordinary talent, little effort, and no real elite education. If a person I know is inferior to me, I really don't know the meaning of knowing him. Although I know that this sentence is quite ridiculed, controversial and easy to be scolded, I still want to say: I believe that if most people use the methodology I just mentioned to look at everyone around them, you will find that there are few really useful people left. When you know a person who has no way to give you the possibility and give you an example and goal in any aspect of intelligence, morality, experience, thinking, etc., what is the meaning of knowing him? Some people will convince me that "even if a clock doesn't run, it's accurate twice a day". I don't understand why I don't find a clock that runs and runs very accurately?

Those excellent people, as long as you get to know them with an open mind, are quite tolerant and generous. As long as you study hard, they will give you the essence of their thinking. It doesn't matter if you don't understand it. You will understand it slowly. Make great efforts and constantly raise your self-requirements. You will understand it one day. When you become stronger than yourself in all aspects, you will find that the things you needed in the past - comfort in difficulties, companionship in adversity, relief in entanglement, discussion before problems... These things are really of great significance? They may be able to accompany you through a difficult time, but in the end, the solution does not come from this. A seed in a closed environment can not grow into a towering tree. A cruel example is that a student in the school where I was re enrolled was able to score more than 100 points higher than a line when I was in senior one, but was more than 20 points away from a line when I graduated. In fact, he has been studying hard in this process. If you close Jordan in a training hall and don't contact top players, even if he is practicing hard, do you really think he can play in the NBA? The environment can affect and determine people, but people can move against the environment because of their great subjective initiative. This is a part of human moving spirit. (www.lz13.cn) now, we have countless ways to break down barriers to meet heroes, create possibilities and break through ourselves. This is an unprecedented opportunity. When such an era comes, if there are still people who remain unmoved, I can only feel deep regret for his dullness. Each of us should be grateful for this era, because in this era, you have obtained channels that were almost impossible before, so you have also obtained opportunities that were almost impossible before. If you were born in a small mountain village in the past, you need to make great efforts to get to know those strong people far away from the mountains. More likely, you may not be able to step out of your county seat all your life. However, now, with the help of tools not available in the past, as long as you have enough sincerity, you can know the outstanding people in a certain field and turn them into real friends. This is true. It happened to people I know. It happened to me. It's true. As long as you fight for it, it will happen. From now on, adjust your plan, jump out of the existing circle, and then bounce back in the gap of self denial and even self abuse. First recognize who you are and what you really want, and then do the corresponding things. You can't go to Rome in the opposite direction, and you can't just drive to Azores and think you've left Europe. To meet the possibility means to meet the most outstanding, not the ordinary excellence or success. Only in the face of huge differences, the most genuine desire to win will be ignited. If there is any greatest wealth I have gained from these friends, it is this understanding itself. Finally, I would like to stress that it is only for those who read here just for habit: you need to have a strong desire to win, a deep ambition and an attitude of not admitting defeat, otherwise you can treat me as not writing. No choice has its own freedom, and choice also has its own price. Postscript: Once my article has been finalized, it has rarely been revised and I do not defend my views. However, in order to avoid misleading people, I would like to add a paragraph: When I was in college, I met a very chatty friend. At the beginning, he was not very good in many aspects, but he was very stubborn. Because he didn't read much, he really sulked in the library for half a year. After half a year... Everyone should have guessed. From then on, I was shocked to embark on the road of no return to despise and compete with him. This man is also my best friend. For example, I think what I want to say is included here. A real and lifelong good friend should be such a person, but some people can only look at problems statically, not dynamically. Even when I emphasized at the beginning of this article, I was still obsessed with the problem of utilitarianism and who was better than who. I don't write articles to argue with people, and I won't try to convince anyone here. The idea I expressed is the accumulation of my long time thinking. If you can accept it, you can accept it. If you can't accept it, it's good to have your own point of view. Finally, I would like to give a word to those who are willing to see it: in a bad environment, there is a synonym for gregariousness - waste of time.

A friend of mine who dropped out of Beijing Institute of technology to start a business and has now opened a second company once sent me this sentence on the third day he met me: if you are better than most people around you, you should change your circle of friends. This reminds me of playing table tennis when I was very young. At that time, playing table tennis was still our most frequent entertainment. For a long time, I was at the top level in our yard, until one day a group of children who had been trained in the team joined our round robin after training. As a result, I was beaten and abandoned by these experts. At that time, the game was still a 21 point system, and I often got only 1-5 points in one game. How can I stand it? Once I lost, I really lost my face. In a rage, I threw the racket out and sat on the bench and began to cry. At that age, I really couldn't understand the fun of the game when I kept losing. Even when a brother next to me told me this sentence, I couldn't understand: what's the meaning of always playing with weaker opponents? It's only interesting to play with stronger ones. The truth in life is such a thing. When you were young, you heard that the same words had worn out your ears in the growth history of more than ten years or even decades, and even used this statement to comfort others for many times. However, this does not mean that you really understand these truths. Until you really know the reasoning process of these truths or realize them by yourself, they will really work. This is why it is useless or even harmful to just accept passively, because you seem to understand, but in fact you are not convinced. The next time the same dilemma needs this way of thinking to solve the problem, you will still be confused. In many people's ideas, the concept of friend should have nothing to do with the secular world, so we should not pay attention to too many objective elements when making friends, and should not make it seem very material. Further exploring the theory of what a friend is and what a friend can do, the public will have more theorems. What friends should help each other and never give up... In fact, I have no intention of subverting many of the above conclusions, nor do I intend to treat friendship as a transaction and exchange based on material. Even if we only talk about making friends, it is an indisputable thing to know more friends who are stronger than ourselves. During such a long period of my life, I have found that the greatest help that friends can give me is precisely irrelevant to money, material, or even some specific thing, or the company and comfort in pain. The most precious and powerful wealth they can give is the three words - possibility. Possibility is a kind of thing. When it appears around you, what it gives you is no longer the repetition and entanglement, hesitation and hesitation on small issues, but a chance to surpass the existing and a weapon to turn the whole situation around. When this thing exists, you will find that what your close friends usually provide is not as important as you think. They are important, but not so indispensable. Compared with these, the possibility of transcending the real dilemma is much more important. When you really know a person who seems to exist only in the legend beyond the previous imagination, you will gain a great kind of spiritual power. This power originates from the original curiosity and unyielding of life: what, is there really someone who can do this, and this person is right in front of my eyes? When a person appears in front of you in this posture, your definition of yourself and many things around you will change fundamentally, and this change is your opportunity to soar. I believe everyone has had such an experience - whether it is in the study of a certain subject, the handling of a certain job or the mastery of a certain skill - you think hard, discuss hard with people around you and work hard, but the results you have achieved are far less than one tenth of those of the person you meet one day. Or, you simply haven't met this person at all, so that you think you are very powerful, so in this narcissism, you interrupt the efforts and possibilities for further progress. Until one day, when the real battle comes, you find that your achievements are only one hundredth or one thousandth of that of a person... Then try again? It's too late. When you repeatedly make mistakes in a matter, repeatedly get lucky, repeatedly fish for three days and dry the net for two days, so that problems and mistakes continue to occur, who should you ask. Ask people around you? You are surrounded by people of similar level and abilities. Maybe some of them have made some progress in some skills, but such progress is not enough to make you change dramatically. In a relatively mediocre environment, a wrong method may make you ranked first, but this does not mean that you are really excellent, let alone excellent. If you want to be completely shocked and have a completely subversive feeling, you need to take the initiative to find or one day be forced to meet an unimaginable strong man. He used his unimaginable skills and knowledge to make you realize how worthless you were before. And then, what kind of thoughts do you have? If your idea is: Wow, he is really good, good, but he is a genius, he is not me. Please close this page. I'm sorry to waste about 180 seconds. This article was not written for you. If your idea is: Wow, he's really good. But why is he so powerful? Can I? What can I do? Congratulations, we are the same kind of people in this idea. From small to large, I lived in the blind worship of genius until I really knew genius, and gradually found a thing that may not be the truth but must be of referential significance, that is, I am afraid that not many talents are completely born - or even if they are born, if you don't, it has nothing to do with you. In other words, if you have, but you feel that you are not a genius, and your actual talent has not been brought into play, then you need to think about how to tap this possible talent. Or, even if you really don't have any talent, you need to think about what you should do in order to catch up with the talent in the field. Well, there's a lot of talk here, I know. If the talents of genius are not completely gifted, or even not gifted at all, where do they come from? In my opinion, I'm afraid it comes from being influenced by others, or even taking it for granted. As far as all the outstanding talents I know in all walks of life are concerned, none of them has become a genius like the legend of "Heaven falling". They have achieved the results today because they have spent a long time or a great deal of effort in their field because of the habit they have been exposed to or the compulsion of their parents. Therefore, if you do not pay as long or as much effort as they do, you subjectively assume that they are "geniuses", that you are not "geniuses", and that you cannot be excellent. Where do you come from? This is the first possibility given by those excellent people: first of all, they may not be from heaven. Second, you may also be a "genius", but you have been buried for a long time. Of course, the most important thing is that they can show a truth that people close to you can't show, that is, a person can do this. A person two years younger than you has participated in the investment plan of more than a billion dollars? A child who is three years younger than you and has a similar family background will earn millions from his stock? A man your age has become the deputy editor in chief of a famous magazine? Or, let's take a more obscene example. A weak boy who is not tall, handsome and ten kilograms thin actually reads countless women... (don't have applause here) why? Why? Why? Think about it. You are shocked, frightened, enraged, intimidated, I understand, I know, I understand, I am experiencing it. How did this happen? Why can the same person do this? When I really, truly and thoroughly know that someone can create miracles without any advantage over me, the fire of winning in my heart will be completely ignited. Let you really understand the possibility of a thing, the possibility of victory, the possibility of transcendence, and you will be completely activated. You will fall into the impossible confusion, the trap of self denial, and then in this low mood, you will welcome balderdash, mantra, and self redemption. Then you will push your previous goal forward ten steps, increase your upper limit by 50, and upgrade your requirements for yourself in any detail a hundred times - otherwise, how can you have the opportunity to approach others? Finally, you will find that you have made progress, not a little progress, but super progress. Maybe you still have a big gap with the possible host, but you are much stronger than before, far beyond your imagination. Just as the quote from Kobe Bryant may be disdained by some people, the quote from Peng Ying may also be controversial. But I still want to copy one of her words to show a common fact: when I work 40 hours a week, I can't imagine how people who work 60 hours live; And when I work 60 hours a week, I can't imagine what people who work 80 hours a week do; Now that I'm working 80 hours a week, I'm thinking about how those people who work 100 hours a week do it. Yes, maybe you can think that people who work 100 hours a week are monsters, machines, or do not understand life. But think about your future. Now that you have read this, I believe you are also a person with ambition, dreams and goals. When the goal you want to achieve is reached by someone dozens of times faster than you, or when you reach it, others have already achieved it for a long time. When reality beats you black and blue, shatters your ideals, and defeats your illusions, how can you tell your dreams: "I've tried my best"? Just like the "I said" I just sent a few days ago, I once convinced myself under the guise that I would only live a plain and indifferent life in the future, and even believed it for a long time. But when the real facts came to my face, I found that I could not accept them. I can't accept being crushed by others, I can't accept the expression of being ignored by others, I don't want to live a vulgar and plain life, I don't want to worry about not being able to buy what I want, I don't want to be separated because I can't cross the material gap with my lover, I don't want to suffer for some problems that can be solved with money, I don't want to taste the bitterness of losers, I don't want to be surrounded by the voice of doubt, and I don't want to just talk about those distant dreams, I don't want to be like those middle-aged people around me when I eat barbecue. I can only shout two words when I eat barbecue and drink too much: I was a bull! So later, I gradually made clear what kind of person I was, what kind of life I wanted to live, and what principles I had, including that I never made friends with people who had no other advantages, were even inferior to myself, and had very low self-requirements. This is not a matter of vulgar worldly sophistication and utilitarianism, but of knowing what you want. In fact, my reason is very simple: I think I have ordinary talent, little effort, and no real elite education. If a person I know is inferior to me, I really don't know the meaning of knowing him. Although I know that this sentence is quite ridiculed, controversial and easy to be scolded, I still want to say: I believe that if most people use the methodology I just mentioned to look at everyone around them, you will find that there are few really useful people left. When you know a person who has no way to give you the possibility and give you an example and goal in any aspect of intelligence, morality, experience, thinking, etc., what is the meaning of knowing him? Some people will convince me that "even if a clock doesn't run, it's accurate twice a day". I don't understand why I don't find a clock that runs and runs very accurately?

Those excellent people, as long as you get to know them with an open mind, are quite tolerant and generous. As long as you study hard, they will give you the essence of their thinking. It doesn't matter if you don't understand it. You will understand it slowly. Make great efforts and constantly raise your self-requirements. You will understand it one day. When you become stronger than yourself in all aspects, you will find that the things you needed in the past - comfort in difficulties, companionship in adversity, relief in entanglement, discussion before problems... These things are really of great significance? They may be able to accompany you through a difficult time, but in the end, the solution does not come from this. A seed in a closed environment can not grow into a towering tree. A cruel example is that a student in the school where I was re enrolled was able to score more than 100 points higher than a line when I was in senior one, but was more than 20 points away from a line when I graduated. In fact, he has been studying hard in this process. If you close Jordan in a training hall and don't contact top players, even if he is practicing hard, do you really think he can play in the NBA? The environment can affect and determine people, but people can move against the environment because of their great subjective initiative. This is a part of human moving spirit. (www.lz13.cn) now, we have countless ways to break down barriers to meet heroes, create possibilities and break through ourselves. This is an unprecedented opportunity. When such an era comes, if there are still people who remain unmoved, I can only feel deep regret for his dullness. Each of us should be grateful for this era, because in this era, you have obtained channels that were almost impossible before, so you have also obtained opportunities that were almost impossible before. If you were born in a small mountain village in the past, you need to make great efforts to get to know those strong people far away from the mountains. More likely, you may not be able to step out of your county seat all your life. However, now, with the help of tools not available in the past, as long as you have enough sincerity, you can know the outstanding people in a certain field and turn them into real friends. This is true. It happened to people I know. It happened to me. It's true. As long as you fight for it, it will happen. From now on, adjust your plan, jump out of the existing circle, and then bounce back in the gap of self denial and even self abuse. First recognize who you are and what you really want, and then do the corresponding things. You can't go to Rome in the opposite direction, and you can't just drive to Azores and think you've left Europe. To meet the possibility means to meet the most outstanding, not the ordinary excellence or success. Only in the face of huge differences, the most genuine desire to win will be ignited. If there is any greatest wealth I have gained from these friends, it is this understanding itself. Finally, I would like to stress that it is only for those who read here just for habit: you need to have a strong desire to win, a deep ambition and an attitude of not admitting defeat, otherwise you can treat me as not writing. No choice has its own freedom, and choice also has its own price. Postscript: Once my article has been finalized, it has rarely been revised and I do not defend my views. However, in order to avoid misleading people, I would like to add a paragraph: When I was in college, I met a very chatty friend. At the beginning, he was not very good in many aspects, but he was very stubborn. Because he didn't read much, he really sulked in the library for half a year. After half a year... Everyone should have guessed. From then on, I was shocked to embark on the road of no return to despise and compete with him. This man is also my best friend. For example, I think what I want to say is included here. A real and lifelong good friend should be such a person, but some people can only look at problems statically, not dynamically. Even when I emphasized at the beginning of this article, I was still obsessed with the problem of utilitarianism and who was better than who. I don't write articles to argue with people, and I won't try to convince anyone here. The idea I expressed is the accumulation of my long time thinking. If you can accept it, you can accept it. If you can't accept it, it's good to have your own point of view. Finally, I would like to give a word to those who are willing to see it: in a bad environment, there is a synonym for gregariousness - waste of time.