I often receive messages from readers backstage. Many people are confused: "I feel very excellent. Why don't everyone pay much attention to me?" "Some people are worse than me in all aspects. Why is she always more popular than me?" I have experienced similar problems before. I didn't find that there are laws to follow in order to get good popularity until I read Carnegie's weakness of human nature. If you want to have good popularity, be appreciated and respected, and make people willing to help you when you are in trouble, it depends on all aspects of your own factors. Similar to respecting others, smiling, talking well and learning to listen to what we all know, I won't spend more time on platitudes. Today I want to share with you a few points that we may ignore at ordinary times. Remember other people's names American psychologist Jesse? Professor Chandler found an interesting phenomenon in a fund-raising after a typhoon. If the initial of a typhoon's name is the same as that of a person's name, he is more likely to donate. In view of this discovery, if you want to call on everyone to donate money after being devastated by the typhoon, you can predict the place where the typhoon passes before the typhoon comes, check the personnel roster in the area, and select a common person's name as the name of the typhoon, so that you can get more donations when collecting donations. At first glance, such behavior may seem opportunistic, but it points to a fact that we may ignore: we attach great importance to our names. In daily life, there is often such a phenomenon. If our names are called or written incorrectly, we will feel that we are not paid enough attention and feel unhappy. When our names are called out clearly and accurately, especially by people who are not so familiar, it will flow into our body like a warm current, and then send out a friendly smell to the person who calls your name. I believe everyone has this experience. During the new year, you will receive a lot of blessing messages. Those messages that can be seen at a glance are mass messages, which are not only difficult to make you happy, but may also cause your disgust. Those with names, even if they are copied and pasted, can make you feel valued. So, how can we get good popularity through this detail? The author of "details - how to influence others easily and effectively" gives us a suggestion: if you want to attract others' attention, you might as well mention the other person's name clearly and many times, or associate the information you want to express with the other person's name. For example, when you are communicating with a colleague, the emotional effect is completely different between calling the other person's name and not calling the other person's name. "Remember to send me today's article" and "Huahua, remember to send me today's article". The former is a more formulaic way of communication, and the latter obviously has emotional temperature. The colleague named Huahua will also feel happy. Therefore, the name is the most important thing in everyone's subconscious mind. Remember other people's names. It is the most important and sweet voice in language. Make others feel important and sincerely appreciate others As mentioned earlier, people are more concerned about whether others can remember their names. In fact, it also shows that she hopes that she is important in the hearts of others. John sheway, an American philosopher, said that the most far-reaching driving force in human nature is "hope is important", which means that a large part of the reason why people do something is that they want to be important to others. So when we communicate with people, let them feel that they are very important and sincerely praise him, it will be easier to get his favor for you. Of course, a very important point is that praising others does not mean flattering or boasting blindly, but adding a little speaking skills and sincerely praising others when the other party's advantages are established. A few years ago, before the rise of online ticket buying, I once went to the ticket window to buy tickets. The ticket selling aunt behind the window is obviously impatient with the monotonous work day after day and seems to have a bad temper. So I said to myself in my heart, "I must make that ticket aunt like me, and to make her like me, I must say something good about her." I asked myself, "what can she praise?" Sometimes, praising others is really a problem, especially when the other party is still a stranger. Fortunately, this aunt has an obvious advantage. When she printed the ticket for me, I said to her eagerly, "aunt, your hair is very good. I wish I could have such hair." She looked up at me in half surprise, smiled and said modestly, "ah, it's not as good as it used to be!" I took the ticket and said goodbye to her happily. I guess the aunt must walk in the wind when she went out to dinner at noon. She would also look at herself in the mirror and say to herself, "even the little girl says my hair is beautiful. It looks really beautiful." In daily life, be sweet. Give sincere praise to others' work or help, so that they feel they are needed. For example, the next time you see the beautiful decoration on the plate when eating in a restaurant, you might as well tell the chef that they have done well; When tired shop assistants patiently take out the goods you want, don't forget to thank them; When the bus driver who should have left is waiting for you who are still struggling to run, remember to say thank you for waiting for me. In interpersonal communication, everyone we contact has a deep desire to be important and praised. Therefore, based on sincere praise, it is a reasonable virtue. It may not bring you material benefits, but it can nourish an unspeakable joy between each other. Cater to other people's interests Life is different. Everyone has his own personality characteristics and is interested in different things. There is a kind of people in life who are fond of guessing other people's preferences and flattering others, hoping to get the support of noble people. Of course, this kind of person is not worth imitating, but there is one thing in the invisible point: if they have the same preferences as others, they are easier to get good popularity. He was shocked by the fact that Roosevelt had been elected president for four years, and he was the only one who had not talked to him. Whether a shepherd boy, a New York politician, a hunter, or a diplomat, Roosevelt could talk to them happily. A high-ranking president, after all, has limited experience. How does he cover all aspects? In fact, the answer is very simple. The night before Roosevelt received a visitor, he would read about what he was most interested in in in order to find interesting topics. Like many people who were good at communicating with others, Roosevelt's secret to good popularity was to cater to other people's interests and talk about the topics they were interested in. I believe many people have such an experience. The two people who were originally relatively unfamiliar may get familiar with each other quickly because they like a film, a book, a singer, or even have a similar and less pleasant experience. Common interest is like a dose of adhesive, which makes two people who are not familiar with each other have an involvement. Under this involvement, they have good feelings for each other. So when we communicate with others, we might as well learn from Roosevelt's way of getting along with others. Don't always focus on your own interests or preferences, guide each other to talk more and talk more about the topics he is interested in.

I often receive messages from readers backstage. Many people are confused: "I feel very excellent. Why don't everyone pay much attention to me?" "Some people are worse than me in all aspects. Why is she always more popular than me?" I have experienced similar problems before. I didn't find that there are laws to follow in order to get good popularity until I read Carnegie's weakness of human nature. If you want to have good popularity, be appreciated and respected, and make people willing to help you when you are in trouble, it depends on all aspects of your own factors. Similar to respecting others, smiling, talking well and learning to listen to what we all know, I won't spend more time on platitudes. Today I want to share with you a few points that we may ignore at ordinary times. Remember other people's names American psychologist Jesse? Professor Chandler found an interesting phenomenon in a fund-raising after a typhoon. If the initial of a typhoon's name is the same as that of a person's name, he is more likely to donate. In view of this discovery, if you want to call on everyone to donate money after being devastated by the typhoon, you can predict the place where the typhoon passes before the typhoon comes, check the personnel roster in the area, and select a common person's name as the name of the typhoon, so that you can get more donations when collecting donations. At first glance, such behavior may seem opportunistic, but it points to a fact that we may ignore: we attach great importance to our names. In daily life, there is often such a phenomenon. If our names are called or written incorrectly, we will feel that we are not paid enough attention and feel unhappy. When our names are called out clearly and accurately, especially by people who are not so familiar, it will flow into our body like a warm current, and then send out a friendly smell to the person who calls your name. I believe everyone has this experience. During the new year, you will receive a lot of blessing messages. Those messages that can be seen at a glance are mass messages, which are not only difficult to make you happy, but may also cause your disgust. Those with names, even if they are copied and pasted, can make you feel valued. So, how can we get good popularity through this detail? The author of "details - how to influence others easily and effectively" gives us a suggestion: if you want to attract others' attention, you might as well mention the other person's name clearly and many times, or associate the information you want to express with the other person's name. For example, when you are communicating with a colleague, the emotional effect is completely different between calling the other person's name and not calling the other person's name. "Remember to send me today's article" and "Huahua, remember to send me today's article". The former is a more formulaic way of communication, and the latter obviously has emotional temperature. The colleague named Huahua will also feel happy. Therefore, the name is the most important thing in everyone's subconscious mind. Remember other people's names. It is the most important and sweet voice in language. Make others feel important and sincerely appreciate others As mentioned earlier, people are more concerned about whether others can remember their names. In fact, it also shows that she hopes that she is important in the hearts of others. John sheway, an American philosopher, said that the most far-reaching driving force in human nature is "hope is important", which means that a large part of the reason why people do something is that they want to be important to others. So when we communicate with people, let them feel that they are very important and sincerely praise him, it will be easier to get his favor for you. Of course, a very important point is that praising others does not mean flattering or boasting blindly, but adding a little speaking skills and sincerely praising others when the other party's advantages are established. A few years ago, before the rise of online ticket buying, I once went to the ticket window to buy tickets. The ticket selling aunt behind the window is obviously impatient with the monotonous work day after day and seems to have a bad temper. So I said to myself in my heart, "I must make that ticket aunt like me, and to make her like me, I must say something good about her." I asked myself, "what can she praise?" Sometimes, praising others is really a problem, especially when the other party is still a stranger. Fortunately, this aunt has an obvious advantage. When she printed the ticket for me, I said to her eagerly, "aunt, your hair is very good. I wish I could have such hair." She looked up at me in half surprise, smiled and said modestly, "ah, it's not as good as it used to be!" I took the ticket and said goodbye to her happily. I guess the aunt must walk in the wind when she went out to dinner at noon. She would also look at herself in the mirror and say to herself, "even the little girl says my hair is beautiful. It looks really beautiful." In daily life, be sweet. Give sincere praise to others' work or help, so that they feel they are needed. For example, the next time you see the beautiful decoration on the plate when eating in a restaurant, you might as well tell the chef that they have done well; When tired shop assistants patiently take out the goods you want, don't forget to thank them; When the bus driver who should have left is waiting for you who are still struggling to run, remember to say thank you for waiting for me. In interpersonal communication, everyone we contact has a deep desire to be important and praised. Therefore, based on sincere praise, it is a reasonable virtue. It may not bring you material benefits, but it can nourish an unspeakable joy between each other. Cater to other people's interests Life is different. Everyone has his own personality characteristics and is interested in different things. There is a kind of people in life who are fond of guessing other people's preferences and flattering others, hoping to get the support of noble people. Of course, this kind of person is not worth imitating, but there is one thing in the invisible point: if they have the same preferences as others, they are easier to get good popularity. He was shocked by the fact that Roosevelt had been elected president for four years, and he was the only one who had not talked to him. Whether a shepherd boy, a New York politician, a hunter, or a diplomat, Roosevelt could talk to them happily. A high-ranking president, after all, has limited experience. How does he cover all aspects? In fact, the answer is very simple. The night before Roosevelt received a visitor, he would read about what he was most interested in in in order to find interesting topics. Like many people who were good at communicating with others, Roosevelt's secret to good popularity was to cater to other people's interests and talk about the topics they were interested in. I believe many people have such an experience. The two people who were originally relatively unfamiliar may get familiar with each other quickly because they like a film, a book, a singer, or even have a similar and less pleasant experience. Common interest is like a dose of adhesive, which makes two people who are not familiar with each other have an involvement. Under this involvement, they have good feelings for each other. So when we communicate with others, we might as well learn from Roosevelt's way of getting along with others. Don't always focus on your own interests or preferences, guide each other to talk more and talk more about the topics he is interested in.