There is a classic saying on the Internet: People who can talk make people laugh, and people who can't talk make people angry. Speaking is an instinct, and being able to speak is a kind of cultivation. "Good" words will please others and yourself, while "bad" words will hurt others and yourself. Being beautiful is a person's greatest dignity and top wisdom. A wise man never says these three words.

1. If you don't understand the sufferings of others, don't say anything to persuade others to be generous There is a heartbreaking sentence on the Internet: "if you don't understand my pain, don't persuade me to be generous." But in reality, there are always too many people who are eager to comfort others to forgive while not understanding others' suffering. On Dabai's birthday a few days ago, three or five friends had a dinner at his house. When he was in high spirits, his father came home to give gifts. Unexpectedly, Dabai kicked his father out without saying a word. Although all the friends present knew that Da Bai had a bad relationship with his father, they couldn't help but start to persuade Da Bai: "No matter how bad the father son relationship is, he is also your father after all. You shouldn't be so rude to him. If you have any problems, communicate with him more..." At that time, I didn't feel that Da Bai was not sensible, but that the people who persuaded Da Bai were very cruel. Because they don't know how Da Bai was hurt by his father when he was a child, or how much pain Da Bai has suffered for so many years, they began to be a "peacemaker", but they don't know that such persuasion has caused secondary damage to Da Bai. Forgiveness is an overestimated virtue, while non forgiveness is criticized as capricious. People always think that learning to forgive is a kind of tolerance and maturity. In fact, compared with forgiveness, sometimes accepting "no forgiveness" is the greatest tolerance. The more roads you have traveled, the more things you have experienced, and the more stories you have passed, the more you begin to understand that not everyone can grow up in an environment full of love, not everyone can be carefree, and many people have grievances and insincere words that no one can say Everyone's heart knot is different. Maybe there are some hardships you can get through, but some people can't get through in their life. I agree with a view of xinyiwu: "in this world, no one can really feel the pain of another person." There is a kind of self-cultivation called don't say, there is a kind called don't understand other people's suffering, don't persuade people to be magnanimous. If you can't accompany others through that ridge, at least don't sprinkle salt on his wound; If you can't empathize with others' suffering, don't impose your generosity on others. May you be treated gently by the years, and may you treat others gently.

2. Don't recognize other people's ideas and don't pour cold water on them Have you ever had this experience: Bought a good-looking dress, but was said to be ugly, and immediately fell into embarrassment; After making a brave choice, he was said to be reckless and immediately became depressed; There was a great plan, but it was said that it was not feasible, so I had mixed feelings. It takes only one sentence and one minute to pour cold water, but the damage after being poured cold water is immeasurable. Sometimes, the feeling of being splashed with cold water is more uncomfortable than hot water, because the wound caused by hot water is on the body, but the wound caused by splashing cold water is in the heart, and the wound in the heart is always difficult to heal. I like a sentence in the Analects of Confucius: "gentlemen are harmonious but different, villains are the same but not the same." There are no two identical leaves in the world, and there are no two people with exactly the same ideas. It's normal to have different opinions, judgments and choices. It's easy to deny others, but people with a real pattern know "harmony but difference": Even if you don't agree with others' views, you won't be eager to deny them; Even if you don't recognize each other's differences, you won't force others to change. I went to my cousin's house a few days ago and found that the original good feelings are also harmonious but different. At dinner in the evening, I found that there was a big gap in the style of several dishes on the table, several dishes were particularly light, and some were very spicy. Then I asked my cousin curiously. My cousin explained happily to me that she likes spicy food, but her brother-in-law's diet is light, so she prepares dishes of different flavors every day, so no one has to deal with anyone. In addition to maintaining their own diet and living habits, they also talk and do not dispute right and wrong, and never pour cold water on each other. After dinner, they discussed what gifts to give the old man for his birthday. My cousin thinks it is more practical to buy warm clothes for the old man in winter, while my brother-in-law wants to take the old man on a trip. There is a big gap between their ideas, but they don't deny each other. Instead, they affirm each other's ideas first, and then make decisions with negotiation and quantity. The way they get along makes people feel extra warm and comfortable. Between people, whether they are close or strange, everyone wants to be with people who are comfortable. Don't be a bad critic of others. Instead of pouring cold water with a gentle attitude like porridge, we can make each other's feelings warm and warm. Don't force others to be the same as you, and use the harmonious but different way to get along with each other instead of the flattering way to get along with each other, so that you can get along without tiring for a long time.

3. Don't always say negative energy on uncomfortable days Xiaoxiao told me yesterday that she blacked a colleague. Asked why, she reluctantly replied: "She's not bad, but she's too negative. She can't stop talking about a little thing, and I make complaints about her private chatting every day. When other colleagues in the same period were promoted and raised, they cried that the company couldn't see her efforts; If there are too few holiday benefits, complain that the company is stingy; When the company changes personnel, I'm afraid of being dismissed With her, I feel depressed and anxious at work every day. " After listening to Xiaoxiao's description, I suddenly thought of a sentence I saw on the Internet a few days ago: "Don't live like a victim, and be anxious to tell everyone about your misfortune." Negative energy people, like victims, always convey negative energy. However, every negative energy word they say in exchange for not sympathy and help, but the disappointment and irritability of others. Adult life is not effortless. Everyone is tired of dealing with the difficulties of life in his own world. Even if life is no longer comfortable, don't always tell your misfortune like the victims, because no one will really like negative people. Each more negative energy sentence will consume another favor of others. One day, when others have saved enough disappointment, they will take the initiative to leave. One day, you will find that growing up is like catching the road at night. There are neither bright night lights nor pedestrians. You can only shine by yourself to illuminate the way forward; You always have to rely on yourself and learn to comfort yourself. Stay away from the people around you who consume you. Don't let yourself fall into negative emotions. Only when you are with people with positive energy can you blossom step by step. Be a person like a sunflower, keep your face towards the sun, and you won't see the shadow. four Huang Zhizhong once said: In the final analysis, most of the problems in life are interpersonal problems. In the final analysis, nine times out of ten, interpersonal problems are caused by communication problems. Speaking is the most cost-effective investment and the best way for a person to improve himself. Speaking exposes one's self-cultivation. Speaking well is the best practice. Speaking reveals a person's character. If you speak with your heart, you can exchange your heart for benevolence. The greatest enemy of man is himself, and the greatest noble man is himself. You who speak well are your greatest noble.

There is a classic saying on the Internet: People who can talk make people laugh, and people who can't talk make people angry. Speaking is an instinct, and being able to speak is a kind of cultivation. "Good" words will please others and yourself, while "bad" words will hurt others and yourself. Being beautiful is a person's greatest dignity and top wisdom. A wise man never says these three words.

1. If you don't understand the sufferings of others, don't say anything to persuade others to be generous There is a heartbreaking sentence on the Internet: "if you don't understand my pain, don't persuade me to be generous." But in reality, there are always too many people who are eager to comfort others to forgive while not understanding others' suffering. On Dabai's birthday a few days ago, three or five friends had a dinner at his house. When he was in high spirits, his father came home to give gifts. Unexpectedly, Dabai kicked his father out without saying a word. Although all the friends present knew that Da Bai had a bad relationship with his father, they couldn't help but start to persuade Da Bai: "No matter how bad the father son relationship is, he is also your father after all. You shouldn't be so rude to him. If you have any problems, communicate with him more..." At that time, I didn't feel that Da Bai was not sensible, but that the people who persuaded Da Bai were very cruel. Because they don't know how Da Bai was hurt by his father when he was a child, or how much pain Da Bai has suffered for so many years, they began to be a "peacemaker", but they don't know that such persuasion has caused secondary damage to Da Bai. Forgiveness is an overestimated virtue, while non forgiveness is criticized as capricious. People always think that learning to forgive is a kind of tolerance and maturity. In fact, compared with forgiveness, sometimes accepting "no forgiveness" is the greatest tolerance. The more roads you have traveled, the more things you have experienced, and the more stories you have passed, the more you begin to understand that not everyone can grow up in an environment full of love, not everyone can be carefree, and many people have grievances and insincere words that no one can say Everyone's heart knot is different. Maybe there are some hardships you can get through, but some people can't get through in their life. I agree with a view of xinyiwu: "in this world, no one can really feel the pain of another person." There is a kind of self-cultivation called don't say, there is a kind called don't understand other people's suffering, don't persuade people to be magnanimous. If you can't accompany others through that ridge, at least don't sprinkle salt on his wound; If you can't empathize with others' suffering, don't impose your generosity on others. May you be treated gently by the years, and may you treat others gently.

2. Don't recognize other people's ideas and don't pour cold water on them Have you ever had this experience: Bought a good-looking dress, but was said to be ugly, and immediately fell into embarrassment; After making a brave choice, he was said to be reckless and immediately became depressed; There was a great plan, but it was said that it was not feasible, so I had mixed feelings. It takes only one sentence and one minute to pour cold water, but the damage after being poured cold water is immeasurable. Sometimes, the feeling of being splashed with cold water is more uncomfortable than hot water, because the wound caused by hot water is on the body, but the wound caused by splashing cold water is in the heart, and the wound in the heart is always difficult to heal. I like a sentence in the Analects of Confucius: "gentlemen are harmonious but different, villains are the same but not the same." There are no two identical leaves in the world, and there are no two people with exactly the same ideas. It's normal to have different opinions, judgments and choices. It's easy to deny others, but people with a real pattern know "harmony but difference": Even if you don't agree with others' views, you won't be eager to deny them; Even if you don't recognize each other's differences, you won't force others to change. I went to my cousin's house a few days ago and found that the original good feelings are also harmonious but different. At dinner in the evening, I found that there was a big gap in the style of several dishes on the table, several dishes were particularly light, and some were very spicy. Then I asked my cousin curiously. My cousin explained happily to me that she likes spicy food, but her brother-in-law's diet is light, so she prepares dishes of different flavors every day, so no one has to deal with anyone. In addition to maintaining their own diet and living habits, they also talk and do not dispute right and wrong, and never pour cold water on each other. After dinner, they discussed what gifts to give the old man for his birthday. My cousin thinks it is more practical to buy warm clothes for the old man in winter, while my brother-in-law wants to take the old man on a trip. There is a big gap between their ideas, but they don't deny each other. Instead, they affirm each other's ideas first, and then make decisions with negotiation and quantity. The way they get along makes people feel extra warm and comfortable. Between people, whether they are close or strange, everyone wants to be with people who are comfortable. Don't be a bad critic of others. Instead of pouring cold water with a gentle attitude like porridge, we can make each other's feelings warm and warm. Don't force others to be the same as you, and use the harmonious but different way to get along with each other instead of the flattering way to get along with each other, so that you can get along without tiring for a long time.

3. Don't always say negative energy on uncomfortable days Xiaoxiao told me yesterday that she blacked a colleague. Asked why, she reluctantly replied: "She's not bad, but she's too negative. She can't stop talking about a little thing, and I make complaints about her private chatting every day. When other colleagues in the same period were promoted and raised, they cried that the company couldn't see her efforts; If there are too few holiday benefits, complain that the company is stingy; When the company changes personnel, I'm afraid of being dismissed With her, I feel depressed and anxious at work every day. " After listening to Xiaoxiao's description, I suddenly thought of a sentence I saw on the Internet a few days ago: "Don't live like a victim, and be anxious to tell everyone about your misfortune." Negative energy people, like victims, always convey negative energy. However, every negative energy word they say in exchange for not sympathy and help, but the disappointment and irritability of others. Adult life is not effortless. Everyone is tired of dealing with the difficulties of life in his own world. Even if life is no longer comfortable, don't always tell your misfortune like the victims, because no one will really like negative people. Each more negative energy sentence will consume another favor of others. One day, when others have saved enough disappointment, they will take the initiative to leave. One day, you will find that growing up is like catching the road at night. There are neither bright night lights nor pedestrians. You can only shine by yourself to illuminate the way forward; You always have to rely on yourself and learn to comfort yourself. Stay away from the people around you who consume you. Don't let yourself fall into negative emotions. Only when you are with people with positive energy can you blossom step by step. Be a person like a sunflower, keep your face towards the sun, and you won't see the shadow. four Huang Zhizhong once said: In the final analysis, most of the problems in life are interpersonal problems. In the final analysis, nine times out of ten, interpersonal problems are caused by communication problems. Speaking is the most cost-effective investment and the best way for a person to improve himself. Speaking exposes one's self-cultivation. Speaking well is the best practice. Speaking reveals a person's character. If you speak with your heart, you can exchange your heart for benevolence. The greatest enemy of man is himself, and the greatest noble man is himself. You who speak well are your greatest noble.