A year ago, h's friends repeatedly invited her to join the start-up company, which gave her material commitment and emotional comfort. H was hot in the forehead, quit his job and joined the new team. But more than half a year later, the reality was that the company didn't get the financing as scheduled, and H didn't get the project commission that should be cashed. She talked to the friend who pulled her into the partnership. The friend said that the company's conditions didn't allow you to wait. You see me, too. We got a dead salary every month. We insisted. After all, we have such a good relationship. You're not only interested in money. Don't you just want to work together? H wants to resign, but she doesn't mean to open her mouth. It seems that this opening is labeling herself as "only care about money". H said to me at that time, it's very contradictory. Sometimes I want to stop waiting. If I don't give a commission for a major project, I'll admit it. If you suffer a loss, you'll suffer a loss. Don't hurt your feelings because of this matter. H is not a rich second generation, and she doesn't have much money on hand. By sacrificing her life for "public welfare", she puts her feelings and relationships in front of money and interests. Two months later, h's friend took the initiative to find her and said that the company's prospects were not optimistic. If h had other plans, she would not stay. H said that she was really short of money. In the near future, see if there was a suitable job and she could wait for the project Commission money. Don't make it too difficult for her friend. H's friend was really not embarrassed. He said categorically that the Commission money should be settled according to the proportion in the contract. H was silly. When talking about treatment at the beginning, my friend promised that the Commission of the project was higher than that in the contract, but on the excuse that it was inconvenient to reflect such a high proportion in the contract, the other parts would be given to h in the form of bonus in private. But now, she seems to have forgotten this matter and never mentioned the beginning. H reminded her that she said that the company really had difficulties. The settlement according to the proportion in the contract depends on their friendship, and other people's money will be delayed. H didn't say anything. In her words, it can only be dumb. I respect her for love and righteousness, but I'm also annoyed that she doesn't distinguish between black and white. H attaches great importance to feelings and is willing to suffer losses, but will the other party really receive this feeling, or don't you think h is suffering losses at all? Judging from the attitude of H's friend towards this matter, she felt that it was herself, not h, who suffered. The meaning of her words is: because you are my friend, you are willing to give you money. I gave you benefits. You owe me this. You should remember my favor. Although it is actually h's friends who failed to fulfill their promises, up to now, h has a hard time saying, and the other party is not grateful for the loss. Instead, he thinks you should get my love. In this matter, h has h's negligence. Blinded by the so-called friend relationship, H accepted the contract that may have problems at the beginning. Even if she went to discuss the argument, how could she argue in black and white? She can only bear the loss of this money silently. What's more angry is that she lost her wife and lost her soldiers. In the eyes of her friends, h is the one who owes human debt. This result is not unbearable. When making friends, you come and go, everyone has the so-called "loss", and the "loss" is not so important. After all, friendship is enough to bridge these payments. Similarly, our friends will also have the time to "sacrifice" for us, so we don't have to worry about everything. What is really unbearable is that the concessions you make and the extra you pay are ignored, ungrateful, ungrateful, and do not feel owed. Some even confuse black and white, and feel that the person who suffers is himself. To suffer losses is to divide the objects. It's really not worth it to suffer losses for such people. They say it's a blessing to suffer losses? This kind of loss, you eat, eat other people's blessing. Therefore, don't use this statement to comfort yourself. The real comfort is to learn to shine your eyes and explain your inviolable interests. You can maintain a relationship by paying and suffering losses within a certain limit. Beyond that limit, you are not making friends, but supporting the white eyed wolf. Similarly, if you cooperate with friends, some people will not choose silence while watching you suffer losses. Xiaoying, a friend I talked about before, also opened a shop in partnership with others. Because she had a job, she couldn't take care of it all the time and offered to take less points. However, the partners still listed the accusations and dividend details of the two people and made a clear position. I won't take more of what I shouldn't get, and I won't let you take less of what you shouldn't lose. This is the attitude of cooperation, fair and reasonable, mutual benefit and win-win. Those who take advantage of you at the beginning and dig holes to let you suffer losses do not really want to cooperate, but make full use of your kindness and weakness under the banner of friendship. People who really value feelings are reluctant to let you suffer. Even if you are willing to lose, they will remember this friendship. They don't often talk about the relationship and ask you to sacrifice and give up. They put the weight of feelings in their hearts for you. Similarly, in interpersonal communication, no matter whether you are active or passive, you should be psychologically prepared: your losses may not be compensated and rewarded. Holding the mentality of "exchange" through loss will wear away the luster of feelings. Because this kind of loss may make the other party feel a sense of debt and always want to repay. This "I owe you" mentality will cause emotional pressure. They will escape or take all the problems on themselves, and even avoid the communication between you. One of my colleagues changed from a friend to a passer-by. In the past, we worked together on projects and ate together, which was good. The relationship transition began with business trips. At that time, she broke up with her boyfriend and was facing the task of traveling for a week. She was in a bad mood and asked me if I could help. I accepted the arrangement to go on a business trip for her, and the leader said it was no problem. When she came back from a business trip, she heard from a colleague on a business trip that it was very hard and busy to go there. She was sorry and said she was sorry for me. She found many reasons to invite me to dinner and bought me coffee every day for the next week. Although I said it didn't matter for many times, she still couldn't let go and said that she would go for me wherever she went on business next time. Unfortunately, there were no long-distance business trips in the second half of the year, and she couldn't find a suitable opportunity to "make up" for me. After that, our relationship has become estranged. She doesn't eat with me and doesn't often chat with me. Occasionally, she does projects together. She also talks about her last business trip. I'm really sorry. The next year, she left and told me before leaving that she always felt indebted to me because of that business trip, and there was nothing she could do for me. Let me not worry about it. I still smiled and said it didn't matter. I had put it down long ago. At the beginning, I was willing to help her. I couldn't put it down. I always felt that she owed me. From this incident, I understand that in the relationship, there can be gratitude, moving, giving and tolerance, but what's wrong is this sense of debt. Because a person who can't pay back is like money that can't afford to pay back. It will only make that person farther and farther away from you and the relationship between the two people weaker and weaker. As for you who have "suffered a loss", if the other party does not express it, it is inevitable that there will be resentment over time. If you feel it is not worth it, you will pay more and more attention to your own pay and loss. When you communicate, you will inevitably rely on the mentality of "you owe me", either arrogant or resentful. Your relationship will naturally become different from the past. Of course, whether you suffer a loss or not, whether you are willing to suffer a loss or not, all depends on what you think. If you are sincerely willing to fulfill others and get satisfaction from yourself in fulfillment, you will not regard the debt as a loss or let others have invisible pressure. In the final analysis, it is not the debt itself that breaks the relationship, but the sense of debt that cannot be bridged.

A year ago, h's friends repeatedly invited her to join the start-up company, which gave her material commitment and emotional comfort. H was hot in the forehead, quit his job and joined the new team. But more than half a year later, the reality was that the company didn't get the financing as scheduled, and H didn't get the project commission that should be cashed. She talked to the friend who pulled her into the partnership. The friend said that the company's conditions didn't allow you to wait. You see me, too. We got a dead salary every month. We insisted. After all, we have such a good relationship. You're not only interested in money. Don't you just want to work together? H wants to resign, but she doesn't mean to open her mouth. It seems that this opening is labeling herself as "only care about money". H said to me at that time, it's very contradictory. Sometimes I want to stop waiting. If I don't give a commission for a major project, I'll admit it. If you suffer a loss, you'll suffer a loss. Don't hurt your feelings because of this matter. H is not a rich second generation, and she doesn't have much money on hand. By sacrificing her life for "public welfare", she puts her feelings and relationships in front of money and interests. Two months later, h's friend took the initiative to find her and said that the company's prospects were not optimistic. If h had other plans, she would not stay. H said that she was really short of money. In the near future, see if there was a suitable job and she could wait for the project Commission money. Don't make it too difficult for her friend. H's friend was really not embarrassed. He said categorically that the Commission money should be settled according to the proportion in the contract. H was silly. When talking about treatment at the beginning, my friend promised that the Commission of the project was higher than that in the contract, but on the excuse that it was inconvenient to reflect such a high proportion in the contract, the other parts would be given to h in the form of bonus in private. But now, she seems to have forgotten this matter and never mentioned the beginning. H reminded her that she said that the company really had difficulties. The settlement according to the proportion in the contract depends on their friendship, and other people's money will be delayed. H didn't say anything. In her words, it can only be dumb. I respect her for love and righteousness, but I'm also annoyed that she doesn't distinguish between black and white. H attaches great importance to feelings and is willing to suffer losses, but will the other party really receive this feeling, or don't you think h is suffering losses at all? Judging from the attitude of H's friend towards this matter, she felt that it was herself, not h, who suffered. The meaning of her words is: because you are my friend, you are willing to give you money. I gave you benefits. You owe me this. You should remember my favor. Although it is actually h's friends who failed to fulfill their promises, up to now, h has a hard time saying, and the other party is not grateful for the loss. Instead, he thinks you should get my love. In this matter, h has h's negligence. Blinded by the so-called friend relationship, H accepted the contract that may have problems at the beginning. Even if she went to discuss the argument, how could she argue in black and white? She can only bear the loss of this money silently. What's more angry is that she lost her wife and lost her soldiers. In the eyes of her friends, h is the one who owes human debt. This result is not unbearable. When making friends, you come and go, everyone has the so-called "loss", and the "loss" is not so important. After all, friendship is enough to bridge these payments. Similarly, our friends will also have the time to "sacrifice" for us, so we don't have to worry about everything. What is really unbearable is that the concessions you make and the extra you pay are ignored, ungrateful, ungrateful, and do not feel owed. Some even confuse black and white, and feel that the person who suffers is himself. To suffer losses is to divide the objects. It's really not worth it to suffer losses for such people. They say it's a blessing to suffer losses? This kind of loss, you eat, eat other people's blessing. Therefore, don't use this statement to comfort yourself. The real comfort is to learn to shine your eyes and explain your inviolable interests. You can maintain a relationship by paying and suffering losses within a certain limit. Beyond that limit, you are not making friends, but supporting the white eyed wolf. Similarly, if you cooperate with friends, some people will not choose silence while watching you suffer losses. Xiaoying, a friend I talked about before, also opened a shop in partnership with others. Because she had a job, she couldn't take care of it all the time and offered to take less points. However, the partners still listed the accusations and dividend details of the two people and made a clear position. I won't take more of what I shouldn't get, and I won't let you take less of what you shouldn't lose. This is the attitude of cooperation, fair and reasonable, mutual benefit and win-win. Those who take advantage of you at the beginning and dig holes to let you suffer losses do not really want to cooperate, but make full use of your kindness and weakness under the banner of friendship. People who really value feelings are reluctant to let you suffer. Even if you are willing to lose, they will remember this friendship. They don't often talk about the relationship and ask you to sacrifice and give up. They put the weight of feelings in their hearts for you. Similarly, in interpersonal communication, no matter whether you are active or passive, you should be psychologically prepared: your losses may not be compensated and rewarded. Holding the mentality of "exchange" through loss will wear away the luster of feelings. Because this kind of loss may make the other party feel a sense of debt and always want to repay. This "I owe you" mentality will cause emotional pressure. They will escape or take all the problems on themselves, and even avoid the communication between you. One of my colleagues changed from a friend to a passer-by. In the past, we worked together on projects and ate together, which was good. The relationship transition began with business trips. At that time, she broke up with her boyfriend and was facing the task of traveling for a week. She was in a bad mood and asked me if I could help. I accepted the arrangement to go on a business trip for her, and the leader said it was no problem. When she came back from a business trip, she heard from a colleague on a business trip that it was very hard and busy to go there. She was sorry and said she was sorry for me. She found many reasons to invite me to dinner and bought me coffee every day for the next week. Although I said it didn't matter for many times, she still couldn't let go and said that she would go for me wherever she went on business next time. Unfortunately, there were no long-distance business trips in the second half of the year, and she couldn't find a suitable opportunity to "make up" for me. After that, our relationship has become estranged. She doesn't eat with me and doesn't often chat with me. Occasionally, she does projects together. She also talks about her last business trip. I'm really sorry. The next year, she left and told me before leaving that she always felt indebted to me because of that business trip, and there was nothing she could do for me. Let me not worry about it. I still smiled and said it didn't matter. I had put it down long ago. At the beginning, I was willing to help her. I couldn't put it down. I always felt that she owed me. From this incident, I understand that in the relationship, there can be gratitude, moving, giving and tolerance, but what's wrong is this sense of debt. Because a person who can't pay back is like money that can't afford to pay back. It will only make that person farther and farther away from you and the relationship between the two people weaker and weaker. As for you who have "suffered a loss", if the other party does not express it, it is inevitable that there will be resentment over time. If you feel it is not worth it, you will pay more and more attention to your own pay and loss. When you communicate, you will inevitably rely on the mentality of "you owe me", either arrogant or resentful. Your relationship will naturally become different from the past. Of course, whether you suffer a loss or not, whether you are willing to suffer a loss or not, all depends on what you think. If you are sincerely willing to fulfill others and get satisfaction from yourself in fulfillment, you will not regard the debt as a loss or let others have invisible pressure. In the final analysis, it is not the debt itself that breaks the relationship, but the sense of debt that cannot be bridged.