01 A nice girl fell in love with a nice young man and had a good relationship. However, this feeling was strongly opposed by the girl's parents. Because the young man had a car accident when he was a teenager, his left leg was not very smart and he walked a little lame. "I have a good daughter. Why should I marry a lame man?" on dit. The girl said: he can run, jump, drive and play. He is smart, sensible, optimistic and capable. You can see how good he is to me. What's wrong with the leg except that it's not very good-looking? I can accept it. What's your strength? Her parents said: speaking from the bottom of our hearts, we can accept it, but what will others think? Let people know that my son-in-law is lame. Where can we put our face? The two sides fought for 800 rounds. The girl wanted to run away from home, my mother wanted to cut her wrists with a knife, and my father wanted to break the relationship between father and daughter. Finally, the girl compromised and broke up with the boy. I didn't fall in love again for four years. At the age of 30, the girl finally had a boyfriend again. When it came to marriage, the girl's parents asked for 120000 betrothal gifts. The man's family is average and he is only willing to give 30000. The girl's mother said, if you give me 120000, I'll refund you 100000 immediately. If you say so, both families have face. If you come up, give 30000. When asked by relatives and friends, what do I say? My daughter can't get married. Is there a big sale? The man said that we borrowed money to buy a wedding house for the whole money. Now we have to borrow it again for the bride price. We can't borrow it. Then the marriage broke up. The girl is thirty-five now and is still alone. When her parents go out, an acquaintance always asks, "did you find your daughter?" This made them angry and helpless. When they came home, they scolded their daughter and said, "you've lost all our old faces." You can imagine the girl's mood. 02 There's a sadder story. A girl from a foreign company married an American boss and emigrated to New York. The whole family felt good and had face. Even primary school students had more capital to show off: one of my classmates emigrated to New York and gave me a long-distance overseas call yesterday But what kind of life does she live in the United States? Her husband is on a long-term business trip. She is alone, has no friends, no job, no one to talk and no sense of belonging. In her own words: like a lonely stray dog. Then she finally had a child, but love disappeared - her husband fell in love with an Italian girl and wanted to divorce her. She refused to die. Because she left her husband, she couldn't live in the United States and had to return home. However, in those days, she came out brightly in the envy of everyone, but now she wants to accomplish nothing and go back with her children. The contrast is too big for her to accept. So I struggled. Her husband hardly came home. She hurriedly took care of the children and washed the dishes for others. She also knew that if she could put down her face and return home, the situation would be much better, but she thought about it, she just felt that she had no face to come back. 03 It has to be said that the Chinese people's pursuit of face has reached a heinous level. From dinner to marriage, "face" is a major measurement factor. It's understandable that it's harmless to blow a calf, tell a fib, fight a small fight and buy some luxury goods for the sake of face. However, when it comes to major events in life, it is foolish to still put face first and would rather give up substantive happiness than preserve face. To save face, cut the kidney and buy an iPhone. Drink and spit blood for face. In order to save face, give up true love and marry someone who is not suitable at all. For the sake of face, I would rather die than divorce while keeping a broken marriage. In order to save face, no matter how good the opportunity is, I dare not start a business. Knowing that there is a slight mistake, he will die and repent. Live for face, die for face, and ruin your life for face. It's terrible to think about it. 04 We want face, sometimes because we are afraid. Afraid of jokes, contempt and pointing. Sometimes it's because of desire. Eager to be admired, eager to be respected, eager for others to know "I'm great". It's normal for people to be ashamed. But this should be enough. If you think face is too big, I'm afraid life will be tragic. Because face is for others, and the day is what you feel. If you always sacrifice your insides for face and fill your face with fat, you will probably end up with a dead face and suffer. In order not to be vain, suffer a lifetime of sin. Isn't this the stupidest behavior? And the face you hold out will often make you lose face in the end. Face is a big burden in people's hearts. The more you care about it, the heavier it is, and the more you will be subject to it. And when you learn to identify and put down unnecessary face, your life will be much more leisurely and smooth. Therefore, if you are already distressed by the problem of face and feel that you are about to lose it, you might as well recite a sentence of "love who", and then put it down. Or, if you want to do something that is obviously beneficial to yourself, but hesitate and struggle because you are afraid of others' eyes, please hold your head high and say to yourself: whatever it is, Lao Tzu's life is for yourself.