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I didn’t realize it then, but I had learned to overcompensate, to perform, achieve, and please, just to feel like I belonged. I buried my feelings deep enough that I no longer recognized them. I built walls and wore masks to keep others from getting too close.
But underneath it all was one core fear: What if people find out who I really am or what I’ve done? That’s shame. That’s guilt. That’s the voice of rejection trying to convince us that we must hide who we are to be loved.
I didn’t realize it then, but I had learned to overcompensate, to perform, achieve, and please, just to feel like I belonged. I buried my feelings deep enough that I no longer recognized them. I built walls and wore masks to keep others from getting too close.
But underneath it all was one core fear: What if people find out who I really am or what I’ve done? That’s shame. That’s guilt. That’s the voice of rejection trying to convince us that we must hide who we are to be loved.


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The blogpost traces how overcompensation and the urge to perform and please shape belonging by burying emotions behind walls and masks. It highlights a core fear of being found out, driven by shame, guilt, and the voice of rejection that argues love requires concealment. @playmakerjnr