In 1981, Teresa Teng was engaged to guokongcheng, the "sugar king" of Malaysia. The engagement conference was held in the Shangri La Hotel Shangri La restaurant of the Guo family. The magnificent decoration almost restored the elegance of the Song Dynasty a thousand years ago. It is said that that time was the sweetest and happiest time for her. When she met a good friend, she took the initiative to show her ring and announced happily: "I am engaged." Guo kongcheng's father was the boss of Shangri La group. At that time, Teresa Teng's career was in full swing. It was obvious that such a daughter-in-law had helped the Guo family. Guo kongcheng's mother was also Teresa Teng's fan. Everything seemed very happy. However, the wedding banquet originally scheduled to be held in Singapore on march17,1982 was cancelled. It is said that when discussing the details of the wedding, the Guo family offered three conditions: first, they asked Teresa Teng to provide detailed family information; Second, to ensure that all singing career will be terminated after marriage and concentrate on being a wife; Third, cut off contact with the entertainment industry and draw a clear line with all male friends. Teresa Teng proposed that "all other requirements can be met, but at least let me record the record". A few days later, the Guo family replied: No. So, the two sides returned the keepsake, and the love and wedding came to an end. Several years later, Teresa Teng's younger brother, Teresa Teng, said in an interview that Teresa Teng had decided to quit the performing arts circle. However, she felt that it would be humiliating if she took this as a condition for marrying into the Guo family: "it's OK to marry into the Guo family, but if you don't want to join, you don't want to be forced, and you don't want to be looked down upon." "I want to get married and live a happy life" was Teresa Teng's original intention. She didn't achieve her wish. After she was depressed, she put her energy back into her career. Her busy work temporarily soothed the lack of emotion, and she reached the peak of her career. A friend worried that such a blow would make her lose confidence in love. She said: "no, love will continue to pursue no matter how many setbacks it has experienced. Love is very important to me." Many people say that Teresa Teng is not a star, but a legend surpassing a star. However, even such a legend with brilliant career, modest personality and seemingly nothing missing has not settled the family and career. It can be seen how difficult it is for women to give consideration to family and career. How can we achieve both family and career success? Readers always ask. I could have said that we should understand balance, think in another's shoes, allocate time reasonably, cultivate both inside and outside, integrate rather than choose, and be grateful. However, these words are of no use. We have seen too many gratifying reports of stars and celebrities who are kind to their children, their wives and children, and their beauty. Therefore, we are more aware that if something is used as an example and news, it is scarce, Who would envy the normality at hand? Therefore, achieving the double harvest of family and career is the dream of ordinary women, not the normal life. Our ordinary days are full of anxious work, incomprehensible husbands, young children and various complex interpersonal relationships. Bonnie once said that this era has pushed Chinese women to the world, but has not brought Chinese men back to their families. Therefore, most Chinese women are working hard in two jobs, one called career and the other called family. This may be the true state of many ordinary women, and it is also the biggest problem faced by almost every professional woman and women who take family as their career. Those women who achieve both family and career success often have two prerequisites: First, family support. Second, relatively good income. The support of the family comes not only from the father and mother of the original family, but also from the understanding and recognition of the husband and mother-in-law. Some people say, silly, won't you choose a man who supports you to get married at the beginning? I also thought that I was blind when I didn't choose the right marriage. After watching too much, I gradually understood that many people had the same view at first. They just walked away - China has the most development opportunities in the world. Similarly, this also means that our times are very variable. Maybe for three years, five years, or even a year and a half, there may be very large distances and differences between husband and wife. This development and thinking are not synchronized, It is objectively difficult to maintain the intimate relationship. Many of my peers are the first generation of only children in China. There is little basis for empathy, inclusiveness, humility, self denial and forbearance in their growth and education, and they have not inherited the traditional way of getting along with husband and wife and relationship rules. Therefore, when we face our own marriage and family relations, we are ignorant after happiness. We don't quite know how to communicate freely when a person's world becomes two, three or even a large family, which leads to many hidden dangers in the family relationship itself. After having children, the relationship between husband and wife is often not better, but the concentrated outbreak of previous contradictions. Therefore, it is not easy to get the support of the elders. Even with their own biological parents, there are obstacles to the balance of ideas and relationships. Most of our husbands are the same age as us. Men's psychological maturity is later than women's. like us, they are the apple of the original family, not the pillar. They are forced to give up the growing pacifier after establishing their own small family. Their sense of responsibility and tolerance are not necessarily stronger than us, and they need a longer maturity period. Therefore, women with children often face the problem of growing up together with their husbands and children. At this time, they require support from men, which many women cannot get. Appropriate economic abundance can alleviate or even weaken many contradictions, except for the gratitude and resentment of rich and powerful families. A relatively good income means not only the support from the man, but also the economic foundation of the woman. Yuesao's salary is rising year by year, but few people sincerely agree that it is a very valuable career for women to take care of children at home. In the eyes of most people, unless a woman goes out to work and earns much more than a nanny, her work is meaningless - she does not get enough pay and loses time to take care of the family and raise children. Obviously, such a "career" is not worth supporting. Over time, women's ability to work has gradually degenerated, and they do not have the conditions to do many "undertakings". They are forced to stay at home for a long time, like a bird with degenerated wings, and no longer have the ability to take off or fly higher. Objectively speaking, the "gold content" of a woman in an ordinary family largely determines her voice and the degree of support, but it can not guarantee the warmth of her love with her husband. Love and marriage stability are two different things. Love is the collision and coincidence of two people's hormones. Marriage is an organizational behavior to survive in the real society. People with love may not be able to survive, and people without love may not break up, but a good marriage must properly combine love and practical interests. I used to think that several options of life, such as love, career, relatives, children, etc., could be balanced, but the more I went on, the more I found that there was no balance in real life, only choice. The so-called balance was just a choice with emphasis at different stages. Women who are generally recognized as having a good career and family, such as guojingjing, won the world championship first. With the aura of career, she fell in love with a rich family. When she got married, she chose to retire. When she was a world champion, she worked very hard and spent more time on high-intensity training than in love; When she was a rich family wife, she was also very focused, low-key and cautious, and her words and deeds met the requirements of a large family daughter-in-law. Another example is Liu Tao, who dutifully showed his love, Hermes and private jet when he was a wealthy wife; The family needs her to work hard, hard-working, modest and generous. There is also Yang Lan. It is generally acknowledged that a successful career and a happy family make a reasonable choice based on the maximization of family interests. Are they all balanced and integrated? Not necessarily. They just found the focus of different nodes in life and made the right choice. Life is a very difficult choice to take into account. The double harvest of family and career is a double test of a woman's wisdom and luck. It is a difficult proposition in itself. If you can do it, it is worth blessing; It's really impossible. It's not a shame to make yourself and others as happy as you can. If you are an ordinary professional woman in China, please be prepared for the long-term coexistence of contradictions between family and career, and you will be in a hurry at some time.

In 1981, Teresa Teng was engaged to guokongcheng, the "sugar king" of Malaysia. The engagement conference was held in the Shangri La Hotel Shangri La restaurant of the Guo family. The magnificent decoration almost restored the elegance of the Song Dynasty a thousand years ago. It is said that that time was the sweetest and happiest time for her. When she met a good friend, she took the initiative to show her ring and announced happily: "I am engaged." Guo kongcheng's father was the boss of Shangri La group. At that time, Teresa Teng's career was in full swing. It was obvious that such a daughter-in-law had helped the Guo family. Guo kongcheng's mother was also Teresa Teng's fan. Everything seemed very happy. However, the wedding banquet originally scheduled to be held in Singapore on march17,1982 was cancelled. It is said that when discussing the details of the wedding, the Guo family offered three conditions: first, they asked Teresa Teng to provide detailed family information; Second, to ensure that all singing career will be terminated after marriage and concentrate on being a wife; Third, cut off contact with the entertainment industry and draw a clear line with all male friends. Teresa Teng proposed that "all other requirements can be met, but at least let me record the record". A few days later, the Guo family replied: No. So, the two sides returned the keepsake, and the love and wedding came to an end. Several years later, Teresa Teng's younger brother, Teresa Teng, said in an interview that Teresa Teng had decided to quit the performing arts circle. However, she felt that it would be humiliating if she took this as a condition for marrying into the Guo family: "it's OK to marry into the Guo family, but if you don't want to join, you don't want to be forced, and you don't want to be looked down upon." "I want to get married and live a happy life" was Teresa Teng's original intention. She didn't achieve her wish. After she was depressed, she put her energy back into her career. Her busy work temporarily soothed the lack of emotion, and she reached the peak of her career. A friend worried that such a blow would make her lose confidence in love. She said: "no, love will continue to pursue no matter how many setbacks it has experienced. Love is very important to me." Many people say that Teresa Teng is not a star, but a legend surpassing a star. However, even such a legend with brilliant career, modest personality and seemingly nothing missing has not settled the family and career. It can be seen how difficult it is for women to give consideration to family and career. How can we achieve both family and career success? Readers always ask. I could have said that we should understand balance, think in another's shoes, allocate time reasonably, cultivate both inside and outside, integrate rather than choose, and be grateful. However, these words are of no use. We have seen too many gratifying reports of stars and celebrities who are kind to their children, their wives and children, and their beauty. Therefore, we are more aware that if something is used as an example and news, it is scarce, Who would envy the normality at hand? Therefore, achieving the double harvest of family and career is the dream of ordinary women, not the normal life. Our ordinary days are full of anxious work, incomprehensible husbands, young children and various complex interpersonal relationships. Bonnie once said that this era has pushed Chinese women to the world, but has not brought Chinese men back to their families. Therefore, most Chinese women are working hard in two jobs, one called career and the other called family. This may be the true state of many ordinary women, and it is also the biggest problem faced by almost every professional woman and women who take family as their career. Those women who achieve both family and career success often have two prerequisites: First, family support. Second, relatively good income. The support of the family comes not only from the father and mother of the original family, but also from the understanding and recognition of the husband and mother-in-law. Some people say, silly, won't you choose a man who supports you to get married at the beginning? I also thought that I was blind when I didn't choose the right marriage. After watching too much, I gradually understood that many people had the same view at first. They just walked away - China has the most development opportunities in the world. Similarly, this also means that our times are very variable. Maybe for three years, five years, or even a year and a half, there may be very large distances and differences between husband and wife. This development and thinking are not synchronized, It is objectively difficult to maintain the intimate relationship. Many of my peers are the first generation of only children in China. There is little basis for empathy, inclusiveness, humility, self denial and forbearance in their growth and education, and they have not inherited the traditional way of getting along with husband and wife and relationship rules. Therefore, when we face our own marriage and family relations, we are ignorant after happiness. We don't quite know how to communicate freely when a person's world becomes two, three or even a large family, which leads to many hidden dangers in the family relationship itself. After having children, the relationship between husband and wife is often not better, but the concentrated outbreak of previous contradictions. Therefore, it is not easy to get the support of the elders. Even with their own biological parents, there are obstacles to the balance of ideas and relationships. Most of our husbands are the same age as us. Men's psychological maturity is later than women's. like us, they are the apple of the original family, not the pillar. They are forced to give up the growing pacifier after establishing their own small family. Their sense of responsibility and tolerance are not necessarily stronger than us, and they need a longer maturity period. Therefore, women with children often face the problem of growing up together with their husbands and children. At this time, they require support from men, which many women cannot get. Appropriate economic abundance can alleviate or even weaken many contradictions, except for the gratitude and resentment of rich and powerful families. A relatively good income means not only the support from the man, but also the economic foundation of the woman. Yuesao's salary is rising year by year, but few people sincerely agree that it is a very valuable career for women to take care of children at home. In the eyes of most people, unless a woman goes out to work and earns much more than a nanny, her work is meaningless - she does not get enough pay and loses time to take care of the family and raise children. Obviously, such a "career" is not worth supporting. Over time, women's ability to work has gradually degenerated, and they do not have the conditions to do many "undertakings". They are forced to stay at home for a long time, like a bird with degenerated wings, and no longer have the ability to take off or fly higher. Objectively speaking, the "gold content" of a woman in an ordinary family largely determines her voice and the degree of support, but it can not guarantee the warmth of her love with her husband. Love and marriage stability are two different things. Love is the collision and coincidence of two people's hormones. Marriage is an organizational behavior to survive in the real society. People with love may not be able to survive, and people without love may not break up, but a good marriage must properly combine love and practical interests. I used to think that several options of life, such as love, career, relatives, children, etc., could be balanced, but the more I went on, the more I found that there was no balance in real life, only choice. The so-called balance was just a choice with emphasis at different stages. Women who are generally recognized as having a good career and family, such as guojingjing, won the world championship first. With the aura of career, she fell in love with a rich family. When she got married, she chose to retire. When she was a world champion, she worked very hard and spent more time on high-intensity training than in love; When she was a rich family wife, she was also very focused, low-key and cautious, and her words and deeds met the requirements of a large family daughter-in-law. Another example is Liu Tao, who dutifully showed his love, Hermes and private jet when he was a wealthy wife; The family needs her to work hard, hard-working, modest and generous. There is also Yang Lan. It is generally acknowledged that a successful career and a happy family make a reasonable choice based on the maximization of family interests. Are they all balanced and integrated? Not necessarily. They just found the focus of different nodes in life and made the right choice. Life is a very difficult choice to take into account. The double harvest of family and career is a double test of a woman's wisdom and luck. It is a difficult proposition in itself. If you can do it, it is worth blessing; It's really impossible. It's not a shame to make yourself and others as happy as you can. If you are an ordinary professional woman in China, please be prepared for the long-term coexistence of contradictions between family and career, and you will be in a hurry at some time.