Crazy love can not make love continue. Only by establishing a calm and harmonious intimate relationship can we have healthy and lasting love. Romantic love is certainly desirable, but this elusive emotion can not bring us a lot of happiness. From the 1960s to 1970s,  The idea of love has changed from changing sexual partners to consulting a psychologist to explore and learn how to cherish yourself. By 80s, AIDS began to spread, and the concept of love gradually tended to be conservative and convergent. People in the 1990s pursued healthy love. A group of experts and happy couples believe that healthy love should be: Love cannot be forced, but the relationship of love needs to be maintained. Many people have tasted the taste of love. It can make us happy today, but depressed tomorrow; It can make us full of hope and lose our confidence. Love is mixed with all kinds of feelings, but these feelings are changeable. They are not the love itself, but the temperature of love, but you can decide what kind of attitude to treat each other as long as you like. People who pursue healthy love understand that both sides of love can have a profound impact on each other, so they are willing to carefully maintain this relationship and be responsible for their actions. Different from falling in love, maintaining a relationship is mainly a matter of coordination. It is the interaction of language, attitude and habits in daily life, which must be maintained by consideration, politeness and goodwill. Lovers are interdependent rather than independent. The trend of couples' psychology in the 1980s is individual. At that time, people believed that in order to avoid unhealthy love, we must be strong, independent and self love. Right or wrong?  The answer is both right and wrong. If you want love to thrive, both sides must form a new and shared unity. This process of merging two into one is the catalyst of the stimulation and power of love. In short, the constant strength between individual and integration is love. People who understand the love of health will never be attached to the individual. They should be 100% independent or completely combined. On the contrary, they are sometimes separated, sometimes combined, and interdependent in the seemingly imperfect love world. Not confused by "romantic" love. Songs, movies, television and advertisements often focus on the ecstasy and low-key melancholy brought by romantic love. Falling in love is a period of passion, ecstasy, anxiety and anxiety. But healthy lovers deeply realize that there is a big difference between "falling in love" and "bathing forever". They will not mistake promiscuity as the beginning of healthy love, just as they believe that peace is the destination of true love. A 30-year-old woman said:“  After a year and a half of dating, my husband and I found out we loved each other, "she said." we never had a moment of ecstasy. We spent a lot of time together,  Love is deeper, but never crazy, always very peaceful. " A 27 year old man mentioned his relationship:“  We had a quarrel and didn't like each other for months. Although this is exciting, it is not true love, but desire. When we really develop a relationship, true love comes. " Those lovers who feel disappointed and worried because the passion of first love fades do not understand that lasting love must be based on a peaceful and harmonious intimate relationship, and even do not understand the difference between healthy love and obsessive love. Share your dreams with your lover. "On our fourth date, we named our future baby and painted the future house in our hearts," said one woman. Love inspires action and dreams. In love, lovers face the challenge of bravely expanding and modifying themselves. He seems to explore a new realm in the emotional world. No matter how big or small dreams are, what really makes love grow is not the dream itself, but sharing the reality of dreams with each other - even if they are not practical. Pay attention to the time of getting along with each other. In the 1980s, when advocating work enthusiasm, career often took precedence over love. Now people know that although work and career take up a lot of time, love still needs time to cultivate and irrigate in order to thrive. Love may begin with love at first sight, but for love to continue, we must integrate their past and different selves into new individuals and develop a common vision for the future. It is impossible to form an intimate relationship without some degree of conflict. Quarrel is a reflection of the power of love. We quarrel because we care about each other and ourselves. Whether it's healthy love or unhealthy love, quarrels are inevitable. The difference is that people with the former know how to avoid increasing pressure on each other, solve conflicts and enhance mutual understanding. Men and women who have a healthy relationship are also more able to face the reality. Some conflicts and differences can be resolved sometimes and can not be resolved sometimes. At this time, both sides must be willing to reach a compromise through rational disputes. Let what should be conceded and what should be forgotten pass. Can strengthen each other's sense of self-worth. My mother once gave me a great idea of how to evaluate my partner: can he help you develop your traits and potential? Healthy lovers appreciate each other,  Show your best inner self to each other. A 27 year old biologist said her husband appreciated her academic performance. Although she is also full of confidence in herself, her husband's appreciation makes her feel better, and this wonderful feeling even extends to other aspects of life. More and more experts point out that the most urgent pursuit of the value of life is to affirm self dignity; Self dignity is also a measure of whether love brings happiness. When we are in an unhappy relationship, our self-worth will decline; On the contrary, it will rise. Self worth is defined by a close relationship with those who know us best. It is the so-called love that produces one through mutual influence. Feelings of love (II) Love is because there is love in the heart, not because of being loved, not to be loved, but just because of love. You will not lose love because you are not loved. Love is in the heart of the one you love, not in the eyes of the one you love. Love has no pattern: different people will do the same thing for you, and you will feel very different. Because what we care about is often not what people do, but just the people who do things. Love has no rules: love is in the heart, not in the mouth. Never say I love you, not because I don't love you, but because I love you too much. Too much love, so afraid of injury; Love too much, so willing to suffer; Love too much, so it's easy to miss love; If you love too much, you often don't know how to love. Love is blind: in love, we will ignore each other's shortcomings. Advantages are advantages, and disadvantages become advantages; When you give up, everything changes. If you are wrong, you are wrong, and if you are right, you become wrong. Love is inclined: love never pays attention to fairness. What can be fair will not be love. (www.lz13. CN) you can be willing to give everything for others, but you can't ask others to give anything for you; You can be unwilling to abandon others, but when you are abandoned, you can't blame the ruthlessness of love. Love is giving: love is not imposed, not possession, love is actually very gentle. If you want him, set him free; If he comes back to you, he is yours; If he doesn't look back, you can only bless him. Love is firm and single-minded: love will not be captured by tears. What can be captured is moving and compassion. Love will not be cut off by mountains and rivers, but only distance and body can be cut off; Love will not be replaced by others. What can be replaced is walking corpses and responsibilities; Trust is the foundation of love, and loyalty is the embodiment of love. The most urgent thing to go is the most beautiful scenery; Those who hurt the most are always the most true feelings. The opposite of love is not hate. It is often careless attitude and words, which can arouse people's anger and achieve their goals more easily; When you desperately want to vent your deep hatred, the most powerless thing to hide is the same unforgettable love. We can stand the heart full of holes and accept the fragmentation of our feelings, but we don't want to drink the water of forgetting our feelings and forget the people we once loved. We can forget someone in a second, but it takes a lifetime to miss the person we once loved. These seemingly contradictory, in fact, are unified with each other, and I may not be able to do it. The most real and plain person is the lover who can accompany him all his life Cherish possession, cherish love!

Crazy love can not make love continue. Only by establishing a calm and harmonious intimate relationship can we have healthy and lasting love. Romantic love is certainly desirable, but this elusive emotion can not bring us a lot of happiness. From the 1960s to 1970s,  The idea of love has changed from changing sexual partners to consulting a psychologist to explore and learn how to cherish yourself. By 80s, AIDS began to spread, and the concept of love gradually tended to be conservative and convergent. People in the 1990s pursued healthy love. A group of experts and happy couples believe that healthy love should be: Love cannot be forced, but the relationship of love needs to be maintained. Many people have tasted the taste of love. It can make us happy today, but depressed tomorrow; It can make us full of hope and lose our confidence. Love is mixed with all kinds of feelings, but these feelings are changeable. They are not the love itself, but the temperature of love, but you can decide what kind of attitude to treat each other as long as you like. People who pursue healthy love understand that both sides of love can have a profound impact on each other, so they are willing to carefully maintain this relationship and be responsible for their actions. Different from falling in love, maintaining a relationship is mainly a matter of coordination. It is the interaction of language, attitude and habits in daily life, which must be maintained by consideration, politeness and goodwill. Lovers are interdependent rather than independent. The trend of couples' psychology in the 1980s is individual. At that time, people believed that in order to avoid unhealthy love, we must be strong, independent and self love. Right or wrong?  The answer is both right and wrong. If you want love to thrive, both sides must form a new and shared unity. This process of merging two into one is the catalyst of the stimulation and power of love. In short, the constant strength between individual and integration is love. People who understand the love of health will never be attached to the individual. They should be 100% independent or completely combined. On the contrary, they are sometimes separated, sometimes combined, and interdependent in the seemingly imperfect love world. Not confused by "romantic" love. Songs, movies, television and advertisements often focus on the ecstasy and low-key melancholy brought by romantic love. Falling in love is a period of passion, ecstasy, anxiety and anxiety. But healthy lovers deeply realize that there is a big difference between "falling in love" and "bathing forever". They will not mistake promiscuity as the beginning of healthy love, just as they believe that peace is the destination of true love. A 30-year-old woman said:“  After a year and a half of dating, my husband and I found out we loved each other, "she said." we never had a moment of ecstasy. We spent a lot of time together,  Love is deeper, but never crazy, always very peaceful. " A 27 year old man mentioned his relationship:“  We had a quarrel and didn't like each other for months. Although this is exciting, it is not true love, but desire. When we really develop a relationship, true love comes. " Those lovers who feel disappointed and worried because the passion of first love fades do not understand that lasting love must be based on a peaceful and harmonious intimate relationship, and even do not understand the difference between healthy love and obsessive love. Share your dreams with your lover. "On our fourth date, we named our future baby and painted the future house in our hearts," said one woman. Love inspires action and dreams. In love, lovers face the challenge of bravely expanding and modifying themselves. He seems to explore a new realm in the emotional world. No matter how big or small dreams are, what really makes love grow is not the dream itself, but sharing the reality of dreams with each other - even if they are not practical. Pay attention to the time of getting along with each other. In the 1980s, when advocating work enthusiasm, career often took precedence over love. Now people know that although work and career take up a lot of time, love still needs time to cultivate and irrigate in order to thrive. Love may begin with love at first sight, but for love to continue, we must integrate their past and different selves into new individuals and develop a common vision for the future. It is impossible to form an intimate relationship without some degree of conflict. Quarrel is a reflection of the power of love. We quarrel because we care about each other and ourselves. Whether it's healthy love or unhealthy love, quarrels are inevitable. The difference is that people with the former know how to avoid increasing pressure on each other, solve conflicts and enhance mutual understanding. Men and women who have a healthy relationship are also more able to face the reality. Some conflicts and differences can be resolved sometimes and can not be resolved sometimes. At this time, both sides must be willing to reach a compromise through rational disputes. Let what should be conceded and what should be forgotten pass. Can strengthen each other's sense of self-worth. My mother once gave me a great idea of how to evaluate my partner: can he help you develop your traits and potential? Healthy lovers appreciate each other,  Show your best inner self to each other. A 27 year old biologist said her husband appreciated her academic performance. Although she is also full of confidence in herself, her husband's appreciation makes her feel better, and this wonderful feeling even extends to other aspects of life. More and more experts point out that the most urgent pursuit of the value of life is to affirm self dignity; Self dignity is also a measure of whether love brings happiness. When we are in an unhappy relationship, our self-worth will decline; On the contrary, it will rise. Self worth is defined by a close relationship with those who know us best. It is the so-called love that produces one through mutual influence. Feelings of love (II) Love is because there is love in the heart, not because of being loved, not to be loved, but just because of love. You will not lose love because you are not loved. Love is in the heart of the one you love, not in the eyes of the one you love. Love has no pattern: different people will do the same thing for you, and you will feel very different. Because what we care about is often not what people do, but just the people who do things. Love has no rules: love is in the heart, not in the mouth. Never say I love you, not because I don't love you, but because I love you too much. Too much love, so afraid of injury; Love too much, so willing to suffer; Love too much, so it's easy to miss love; If you love too much, you often don't know how to love. Love is blind: in love, we will ignore each other's shortcomings. Advantages are advantages, and disadvantages become advantages; When you give up, everything changes. If you are wrong, you are wrong, and if you are right, you become wrong. Love is inclined: love never pays attention to fairness. What can be fair will not be love. (www.lz13. CN) you can be willing to give everything for others, but you can't ask others to give anything for you; You can be unwilling to abandon others, but when you are abandoned, you can't blame the ruthlessness of love. Love is giving: love is not imposed, not possession, love is actually very gentle. If you want him, set him free; If he comes back to you, he is yours; If he doesn't look back, you can only bless him. Love is firm and single-minded: love will not be captured by tears. What can be captured is moving and compassion. Love will not be cut off by mountains and rivers, but only distance and body can be cut off; Love will not be replaced by others. What can be replaced is walking corpses and responsibilities; Trust is the foundation of love, and loyalty is the embodiment of love. The most urgent thing to go is the most beautiful scenery; Those who hurt the most are always the most true feelings. The opposite of love is not hate. It is often careless attitude and words, which can arouse people's anger and achieve their goals more easily; When you desperately want to vent your deep hatred, the most powerless thing to hide is the same unforgettable love. We can stand the heart full of holes and accept the fragmentation of our feelings, but we don't want to drink the water of forgetting our feelings and forget the people we once loved. We can forget someone in a second, but it takes a lifetime to miss the person we once loved. These seemingly contradictory, in fact, are unified with each other, and I may not be able to do it. The most real and plain person is the lover who can accompany him all his life Cherish possession, cherish love!