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Most people who know me think I'm outgoing. I used to hold the hands of nervous strangers when flying; I met a new friend when I was shopping for a tie at Saks mall; Once, I got the wrong number and talked to the other person - for 10 minutes. cocktail lounge? Interviewing important people because of work? Speaking in public? None of this is a problem for me. As my best friend pointed out recently, "you have so much to say that no one can resist." So why do I get tongue tied every time I meet a very talented colleague, retreat to the corner of the filing cabinet, or blurt out some inappropriate words? Why do I walk past a crowded restaurant or room with fear? At a recent party, when I noticed a man looking at me, why did I spill wine around my neck? In fact, I was chosen as the most shy person in high school. Although I've managed to get rid of most of my shyness - partly due to determination and partly just because I've accumulated more life experiences - I'm still plagued by what psychologists call "situational shyness". In other words, certain situations or people can make me suddenly and uncontrollably shy. According to the shyness Research Center at Indiana University Southeast in New Albany, Indiana, almost everyone - even those you think are very confident - feels shy from time to time, and this can have a negative impact on communication with others. The personality characteristic of shyness is partly a physiological response and partly affected by the environment. When we have a strong sense of self, fall into extreme self indulgence or self-criticism, we will become shy. The problem is: shyness can hold people back. Unlike introverts who like to be alone, shy people want to make friends. To make matters worse, shy people are often misunderstood - people think they are arrogant or cold. Situational shyness has another problem: it can happen at the most inopportune time. Interestingly, when I asked what made people suddenly shy, almost all the heterosexual men I asked mentioned women: "noisy parties, loud laughter and beautiful women." However, few women say men make them feel shy. Instead, women say other women often make them tongue tied. "If she is more attractive, better dressed or thinner than me, it will make me shy. The combination of the three is fatal." A female friend said. (other causes of women's shyness? Parties, talking and unexpected gifts.) What else can make us shy? For casgraf nostad, 46, talking to young people makes him feel out of touch with the times. "I was excited about my new mobile phone, but I found that I was out of date." The actor from Los Angeles said.) For Li Shulman, who lives in Salta, Argentina, meeting other parents while sending her 6-year-old to school makes her feel shy. Shulman, 38, is a social media consultant. "Compared with parents who are considered incompetent, being criticized at work doesn't make me feel so uneasy." She said. Arnold Schwarzenegger also made Judy sable feel ashamed and discouraged. Twenty years ago, while trying on a ski suit in his hometown of Fremont, California, sebur had a brief meeting with Schwarzenegger, the current governor of California and an actor at that time. "A man's voice said: 'this dress looks cool,'" said sable. She is 61 years old and worked as a human resources manager before retirement. "I can still clearly remember what was on my mind: he was such a big man. He had short, straight orange hair and married a Kennedy. I thought I'd get out of here before I said anything stupid." So, how do we deal with situational shyness? My usual reaction is to keep talking. Sometimes I say everything I shouldn't say. Others will immediately take out their BlackBerry or iPhone and start reading or typing hard. A friend sometimes excuses going to the bathroom at a cocktail party to avoid the trouble of saying goodbye. Alice Cunningham said she was afraid of approaching strangers at parties or work activities. So she wore a pair of Italian leather shoes with the pattern of famous art works printed on them. "A psychologist once told me that shy people need to wear great clothes so that when they first enter the room, they can have clothes speak for others." Cunningham, 69, said she owns a bathtub company in Seattle. "My shoes are equivalent to my public relations and my business card. They can quickly attract people's attention. In this way, my shyness disappears and the whole person feels much better."
Most people who know me think I'm outgoing. I used to hold the hands of nervous strangers when flying; I met a new friend when I was shopping for a tie at Saks mall; Once, I got the wrong number and talked to the other person - for 10 minutes. cocktail lounge? Interviewing important people because of work? Speaking in public? None of this is a problem for me. As my best friend pointed out recently, "you have so much to say that no one can resist." So why do I get tongue tied every time I meet a very talented colleague, retreat to the corner of the filing cabinet, or blurt out some inappropriate words? Why do I walk past a crowded restaurant or room with fear? At a recent party, when I noticed a man looking at me, why did I spill wine around my neck? In fact, I was chosen as the most shy person in high school. Although I've managed to get rid of most of my shyness - partly due to determination and partly just because I've accumulated more life experiences - I'm still plagued by what psychologists call "situational shyness". In other words, certain situations or people can make me suddenly and uncontrollably shy. According to the shyness Research Center at Indiana University Southeast in New Albany, Indiana, almost everyone - even those you think are very confident - feels shy from time to time, and this can have a negative impact on communication with others. The personality characteristic of shyness is partly a physiological response and partly affected by the environment. When we have a strong sense of self, fall into extreme self indulgence or self-criticism, we will become shy. The problem is: shyness can hold people back. Unlike introverts who like to be alone, shy people want to make friends. To make matters worse, shy people are often misunderstood - people think they are arrogant or cold. Situational shyness has another problem: it can happen at the most inopportune time. Interestingly, when I asked what made people suddenly shy, almost all the heterosexual men I asked mentioned women: "noisy parties, loud laughter and beautiful women." However, few women say men make them feel shy. Instead, women say other women often make them tongue tied. "If she is more attractive, better dressed or thinner than me, it will make me shy. The combination of the three is fatal." A female friend said. (other causes of women's shyness? Parties, talking and unexpected gifts.) What else can make us shy? For casgraf nostad, 46, talking to young people makes him feel out of touch with the times. "I was excited about my new mobile phone, but I found that I was out of date." The actor from Los Angeles said.) For Li Shulman, who lives in Salta, Argentina, meeting other parents while sending her 6-year-old to school makes her feel shy. Shulman, 38, is a social media consultant. "Compared with parents who are considered incompetent, being criticized at work doesn't make me feel so uneasy." She said. Arnold Schwarzenegger also made Judy sable feel ashamed and discouraged. Twenty years ago, while trying on a ski suit in his hometown of Fremont, California, sebur had a brief meeting with Schwarzenegger, the current governor of California and an actor at that time. "A man's voice said: 'this dress looks cool,'" said sable. She is 61 years old and worked as a human resources manager before retirement. "I can still clearly remember what was on my mind: he was such a big man. He had short, straight orange hair and married a Kennedy. I thought I'd get out of here before I said anything stupid." So, how do we deal with situational shyness? My usual reaction is to keep talking. Sometimes I say everything I shouldn't say. Others will immediately take out their BlackBerry or iPhone and start reading or typing hard. A friend sometimes excuses going to the bathroom at a cocktail party to avoid the trouble of saying goodbye. Alice Cunningham said she was afraid of approaching strangers at parties or work activities. So she wore a pair of Italian leather shoes with the pattern of famous art works printed on them. "A psychologist once told me that shy people need to wear great clothes so that when they first enter the room, they can have clothes speak for others." Cunningham, 69, said she owns a bathtub company in Seattle. "My shoes are equivalent to my public relations and my business card. They can quickly attract people's attention. In this way, my shyness disappears and the whole person feels much better."
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