There are many kinds of people who work hard for life. Effort itself is neither right nor wrong, nor good or bad. But the problem is that we have too many biases in our understanding of efforts - thinking that all efforts are good is one kind of bias. Efforts that are relaxed and agreeable are completely different from those driven by anxiety and panic. I call those who are driven by anxiety "anxious workers". Anxious and hardworking people usually have harsh parents or elders and teachers who have had an important impact on them. This critical external environment always shows dissatisfaction with him all the time and often compares him with others. But no matter how hard he tries, he will never get their recognition and love. In fact, there is also a tragic growth experience that can not be recognized no matter how hard you try: only when you meet the expectations and requirements of parents or teachers can you get "love". Once you violate their requirements, you will be abused, denied, ridiculed, or even beaten. They are likely to grow up in a school or group that likes to compare and rank. Their learning ranking, family background, interpersonal relationship and whether they are "mixed" can be used as conditions for mutual comparison and labeling. They are always very anxious, and they are extremely eager to do anything. Want to succeed quickly, make a lot of money quickly and have a bright career quickly. Oh, there is also one of the most common desires: rapid self-improvement. They have been working hard all the time. It seems to be a kind of future plan that this group yearns for and looks forward to to, to be admitted to a key university, to be gilded abroad for a few years and to choose a bright and good job. Objectively speaking, they are indeed "successful" compared with their peers. But the problem is that they almost never enjoy the joy of success. They are always driven by a fear of failure, falling behind and being looked down upon by others. The phenomenon of "the harder you work, the more anxious you are" also occurs in this kind of "pursuit of excellence" people. So why do you work harder and worry more? What's the problem? I remember when I was in primary school, books such as "soul chicken soup" were still very popular in bookstores, and magazines such as Yilin were also popular. Later, when people realized the flashiness and emptiness of soul chicken soup, soul chicken soup became a derogatory term. But soon, a kind of "knowledge" called "success learning" quickly spread after chicken soup. All kinds of masters, all kinds of famous sayings and golden sentences are spoken by everyone. Then it evolved into a collective tendency for all people to pursue success. Everyone began to become positive, and even appeared a criticism of "those who don't work hard" such as "you don't work hard is low force", "the most beautiful years must work hard". So everyone became anxious. Everyone is afraid of being left behind by others, being criticized by others, and becoming a low force and loser in the mouth of others. The collective pursuit of "success" and the criticism of "not working hard" have created an environment in which everyone is difficult to accept their own negative side. When it comes to everyone, the harder they work, the more anxious they become. In the final analysis, there are three fundamental direct reasons.

1. The motivation of "anxious endeavor" is driven by anxiety at the beginning. They have anxiety because they are not good enough, because they cannot be recognized by others, because they will be looked down upon by others, and so on. In order to get rid of this anxiety, he will strive to become stronger and strive to obtain the recognition of others. But it is precisely his desire to "get rid of anxiety" that makes him produce a kind of "secondary anxiety", that is, "anxiety caused by being unable to get rid of anxiety". Therefore, the more he "tries" to get rid of anxiety, it will only make anxiety become more; He will be unable to concentrate on his work because of anxiety, so his progress to achieve his goal will slow down, and the slow progress will aggravate his anxiety; So his anxiety will become more and more serious until he is in a state of anxiety all the time, and can no longer do anything, and can no longer feel and feel the existence of life with his heart.

2. The purpose of doing things is only for the final result. Of course, doing things is to get the final result, but the difference between "anxious workers" and ordinary people is that their purpose of doing things "only" lies in the final result, and their "only" is for a certain output, a certain result and a certain purpose. So this will cause them to be unable to enjoy the process of doing things and feel the present of life. In their view, life seems to have only one purpose and node after another. They just want to complete the task and rush from this node to the next node as soon as possible. you 're right. "Life for them is like a task assigned by others.". So if you only have tasks in your life, where are you?

3. Too fast. Because you regard life as a task assigned to you by others, you inevitably want to complete it as soon as possible. Only when you finish it as soon as possible can you escape from the life you hate as soon as possible. For example, you work hard to make money so that you don't have to make money one day; You try your best to get rid of the pain of postgraduate entrance examination as soon as possible; You have to write a public sign article so that you can relax after writing it; This is a very common logic, so common that you can't even realize the problems in this logic. "Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance" has a saying: "when you do something fast, it means you have lost interest in it. You want to finish it quickly and do something else." Therefore, when you force yourself to do something you are not interested in, and you force yourself to complete a task you are very resistant to, it will inevitably cause you a lot of anxiety. Moreover, the faster you seek, the more anxious you will be; The more anxious you are, the less efficient you are; This is the fundamental meaning of "Haste makes waste". So how can you get rid of this state that the harder you work, the more anxious you are? My answer is: give up trying. Listen to your inner voice and do something you're really interested in. I know this answer does not satisfy the "anxious hard workers". Because there is no doubt that when they see giving up their efforts, they have instinctively felt a "panic". They will think that if they don't work hard, it will only be worse. If they give up their efforts, their life will get out of control. They think that the worst results in life they have been avoiding will flood into him. His life will be a mess and he will become a waste. In fact, anxious hard workers are now in a state like a person learning to swim. He was a stranger to water. He felt a little sinking. He was scared. So he struggled hard to catch something so that he wouldn't fall. But he caught an empty, but he sank deeper. So he panicked more, struggled harder and desperately, but the more he struggled, the faster he sank. All the efforts made by anxious workers now are like the struggle of a novice swimmer. They think they can try to "seize" the illusion of becoming rich, popular and good at learning, which can pull themselves up from the "terrible" life, but all his efforts are the reason why he is more and more in danger. So how do people who can't swim usually learn to be useful? If you ask all the people who can swim, almost all of them will answer you: relax. When you relax, when you are no longer struggling and rigid, the buoyancy of the water itself will naturally lift you up. Just like when you let go of life, no longer tighten yourself, and no longer try to grasp anything through efforts, life itself will bring you "safety" and "peace". What you have been afraid of is that if you don't work hard, you will lose everything; It's like falling into the water when you don't struggle; But just as the water will hold you up, when you are no longer driven by tension and anxiety, your own interests, some of your own motivation, your curiosity about the world and so on will spontaneously lead you to explore the world and lead you to make many meaningful creations. At this time, your life will be full and meaningful. So maybe sometimes it's more important not to do something than desperately trying to do something. above.

There are many kinds of people who work hard for life. Effort itself is neither right nor wrong, nor good or bad. But the problem is that we have too many biases in our understanding of efforts - thinking that all efforts are good is one kind of bias. Efforts that are relaxed and agreeable are completely different from those driven by anxiety and panic. I call those who are driven by anxiety "anxious workers". Anxious and hardworking people usually have harsh parents or elders and teachers who have had an important impact on them. This critical external environment always shows dissatisfaction with him all the time and often compares him with others. But no matter how hard he tries, he will never get their recognition and love. In fact, there is also a tragic growth experience that can not be recognized no matter how hard you try: only when you meet the expectations and requirements of parents or teachers can you get "love". Once you violate their requirements, you will be abused, denied, ridiculed, or even beaten. They are likely to grow up in a school or group that likes to compare and rank. Their learning ranking, family background, interpersonal relationship and whether they are "mixed" can be used as conditions for mutual comparison and labeling. They are always very anxious, and they are extremely eager to do anything. Want to succeed quickly, make a lot of money quickly and have a bright career quickly. Oh, there is also one of the most common desires: rapid self-improvement. They have been working hard all the time. It seems to be a kind of future plan that this group yearns for and looks forward to to, to be admitted to a key university, to be gilded abroad for a few years and to choose a bright and good job. Objectively speaking, they are indeed "successful" compared with their peers. But the problem is that they almost never enjoy the joy of success. They are always driven by a fear of failure, falling behind and being looked down upon by others. The phenomenon of "the harder you work, the more anxious you are" also occurs in this kind of "pursuit of excellence" people. So why do you work harder and worry more? What's the problem? I remember when I was in primary school, books such as "soul chicken soup" were still very popular in bookstores, and magazines such as Yilin were also popular. Later, when people realized the flashiness and emptiness of soul chicken soup, soul chicken soup became a derogatory term. But soon, a kind of "knowledge" called "success learning" quickly spread after chicken soup. All kinds of masters, all kinds of famous sayings and golden sentences are spoken by everyone. Then it evolved into a collective tendency for all people to pursue success. Everyone began to become positive, and even appeared a criticism of "those who don't work hard" such as "you don't work hard is low force", "the most beautiful years must work hard". So everyone became anxious. Everyone is afraid of being left behind by others, being criticized by others, and becoming a low force and loser in the mouth of others. The collective pursuit of "success" and the criticism of "not working hard" have created an environment in which everyone is difficult to accept their own negative side. When it comes to everyone, the harder they work, the more anxious they become. In the final analysis, there are three fundamental direct reasons.

1. The motivation of "anxious endeavor" is driven by anxiety at the beginning. They have anxiety because they are not good enough, because they cannot be recognized by others, because they will be looked down upon by others, and so on. In order to get rid of this anxiety, he will strive to become stronger and strive to obtain the recognition of others. But it is precisely his desire to "get rid of anxiety" that makes him produce a kind of "secondary anxiety", that is, "anxiety caused by being unable to get rid of anxiety". Therefore, the more he "tries" to get rid of anxiety, it will only make anxiety become more; He will be unable to concentrate on his work because of anxiety, so his progress to achieve his goal will slow down, and the slow progress will aggravate his anxiety; So his anxiety will become more and more serious until he is in a state of anxiety all the time, and can no longer do anything, and can no longer feel and feel the existence of life with his heart.

2. The purpose of doing things is only for the final result. Of course, doing things is to get the final result, but the difference between "anxious workers" and ordinary people is that their purpose of doing things "only" lies in the final result, and their "only" is for a certain output, a certain result and a certain purpose. So this will cause them to be unable to enjoy the process of doing things and feel the present of life. In their view, life seems to have only one purpose and node after another. They just want to complete the task and rush from this node to the next node as soon as possible. you 're right. "Life for them is like a task assigned by others.". So if you only have tasks in your life, where are you?

3. Too fast. Because you regard life as a task assigned to you by others, you inevitably want to complete it as soon as possible. Only when you finish it as soon as possible can you escape from the life you hate as soon as possible. For example, you work hard to make money so that you don't have to make money one day; You try your best to get rid of the pain of postgraduate entrance examination as soon as possible; You have to write a public sign article so that you can relax after writing it; This is a very common logic, so common that you can't even realize the problems in this logic. "Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance" has a saying: "when you do something fast, it means you have lost interest in it. You want to finish it quickly and do something else." Therefore, when you force yourself to do something you are not interested in, and you force yourself to complete a task you are very resistant to, it will inevitably cause you a lot of anxiety. Moreover, the faster you seek, the more anxious you will be; The more anxious you are, the less efficient you are; This is the fundamental meaning of "Haste makes waste". So how can you get rid of this state that the harder you work, the more anxious you are? My answer is: give up trying. Listen to your inner voice and do something you're really interested in. I know this answer does not satisfy the "anxious hard workers". Because there is no doubt that when they see giving up their efforts, they have instinctively felt a "panic". They will think that if they don't work hard, it will only be worse. If they give up their efforts, their life will get out of control. They think that the worst results in life they have been avoiding will flood into him. His life will be a mess and he will become a waste. In fact, anxious hard workers are now in a state like a person learning to swim. He was a stranger to water. He felt a little sinking. He was scared. So he struggled hard to catch something so that he wouldn't fall. But he caught an empty, but he sank deeper. So he panicked more, struggled harder and desperately, but the more he struggled, the faster he sank. All the efforts made by anxious workers now are like the struggle of a novice swimmer. They think they can try to "seize" the illusion of becoming rich, popular and good at learning, which can pull themselves up from the "terrible" life, but all his efforts are the reason why he is more and more in danger. So how do people who can't swim usually learn to be useful? If you ask all the people who can swim, almost all of them will answer you: relax. When you relax, when you are no longer struggling and rigid, the buoyancy of the water itself will naturally lift you up. Just like when you let go of life, no longer tighten yourself, and no longer try to grasp anything through efforts, life itself will bring you "safety" and "peace". What you have been afraid of is that if you don't work hard, you will lose everything; It's like falling into the water when you don't struggle; But just as the water will hold you up, when you are no longer driven by tension and anxiety, your own interests, some of your own motivation, your curiosity about the world and so on will spontaneously lead you to explore the world and lead you to make many meaningful creations. At this time, your life will be full and meaningful. So maybe sometimes it's more important not to do something than desperately trying to do something. above.