If people have to please the protector in order to survive, their desire for pettish will not be satisfied. Happy are those who do not need to observe their words and colors when they are young. Only those who spend their childhood happily can reach emotional maturity. People without a sense of security can't be spoiled. As long as there is a sense of uneasiness about being abandoned, people can't be coquettish. Those "good children" who are especially clever and often help adults have a sense of insecurity that they may be abandoned. Or they are always afraid that their protector is in a bad mood. No matter when they are playing, helping adults, or eating, they are always in fear at any time. Most children who have been unable to be coquettish with others will grow into overly serious adults who believe that only when they are serious everywhere can others like themselves. These too serious adults, even if they sometimes want to be coquettish, can't show it. They are often polite and stay away from others. The reason is that I just said that people who are too serious have no sense of security. They have no sense of security in their relationships. They have a strong sense of psychological dependence. It is very necessary for them to get the favor of the people around them. The cognition that they have been trained since childhood tells them that if they are coquettish, they will lose the favor of others for themselves, so they can't be coquettish. Generally speaking, when a person is sure that he will not abandon himself and has a sense of security, he will be coquettish to that person. However, people who are too serious think that coquetry is very shameful and shameful. The more they don't want to be abandoned by each other, the more they will avoid being spoiled. In the opposition between desire and rules, desire is bad, outrageous, inferior, and must be suppressed; The rules are good and noble, so we should act according to the rules. People who are too serious will obey the rules because they want to be liked by others. However, this is their sorrow. These overly serious people always abide by the rules and are polite to others. This will really win the favor of others. In the final analysis, this is just a shallow relationship. If you don't show your essence like this forever, you can't achieve deep-seated communication. Even if you are trusted and liked through superficial communication, it is only an extremely shallow trust relationship established by dealing with general affairs, and will not really be trusted as a person and an irreplaceable person. To put it harshly, taking the relationship between men and women as an example, this kind of trust and love, that is, the kind of convenient trust and love for the object of casual play, is not sincere trust and love, and there will be no idea of "I'm not playing with this person, I'm serious". No matter how you forbid yourself to be coquettish, no matter how serious and disciplined you are, all you can get is the trust of Ping Shui. It is not a serious attitude that makes the other party have the idea of "wanting to marry him" and "wanting to spend this life with him". The same is true for same-sex communication. The so-called love is limited to love in a specific situation, and the so-called trust is also limited to trust in a specific situation. Of course, if it is limited to love and trust in a certain situation, compliance with norms is indeed the safest behavior. But in that case, even after many years, they can't become iron brothers. Although the desire to be coquettish is very strong, they prohibit themselves from being coquettish and insist on a serious life. Such people lack human charm and will not be irresistibly attracted by them. Whether of the same sex or the opposite sex, the other party will one day go their separate ways. People who can bring meaning to their own life, people who can make themselves reflect on their past way of life, people who can change their opinions, and people who can open a new chapter in their own life - these can't be overly serious people. Spoiled people who want to be satisfied don't worry too much about others. They also have charm as human beings. The so-called charm as a person can give the other party a sense of certainty. It can also be said that the existence of this person can bring the meaning of life to others. Those who are eager to be coquettish in the depths of their hearts, but can't be coquettish to anyone, are the most problematic. This kind of person is trusted by everyone on the surface, but no one will trust him from the heart. Those who are particularly nice to outsiders are actually unable to show a desire to be coquettish in front of outsiders. The same is true of those who are particularly bad to their families. Even in front of their families, they will never show their coquetry. The reason why they put a bad face at home is that they are more likely to be influenced by their inner desire to be spoiled at home. Compared with outsiders, family members make themselves feel more secure. However, in the final analysis, this sense of security is only "compared with outsiders", not real peace of mind. Although it is not really reassuring, but relatively speaking, the psychological defense is reduced, and it is easier to realize your coquettish desire. However, this desire cannot be expressed directly. Compared with others, they will feel more lost, more boring and more dissatisfied because their desires are not satisfied.

If people have to please the protector in order to survive, their desire for pettish will not be satisfied. Happy are those who do not need to observe their words and colors when they are young. Only those who spend their childhood happily can reach emotional maturity. People without a sense of security can't be spoiled. As long as there is a sense of uneasiness about being abandoned, people can't be coquettish. Those "good children" who are especially clever and often help adults have a sense of insecurity that they may be abandoned. Or they are always afraid that their protector is in a bad mood. No matter when they are playing, helping adults, or eating, they are always in fear at any time. Most children who have been unable to be coquettish with others will grow into overly serious adults who believe that only when they are serious everywhere can others like themselves. These too serious adults, even if they sometimes want to be coquettish, can't show it. They are often polite and stay away from others. The reason is that I just said that people who are too serious have no sense of security. They have no sense of security in their relationships. They have a strong sense of psychological dependence. It is very necessary for them to get the favor of the people around them. The cognition that they have been trained since childhood tells them that if they are coquettish, they will lose the favor of others for themselves, so they can't be coquettish. Generally speaking, when a person is sure that he will not abandon himself and has a sense of security, he will be coquettish to that person. However, people who are too serious think that coquetry is very shameful and shameful. The more they don't want to be abandoned by each other, the more they will avoid being spoiled. In the opposition between desire and rules, desire is bad, outrageous, inferior, and must be suppressed; The rules are good and noble, so we should act according to the rules. People who are too serious will obey the rules because they want to be liked by others. However, this is their sorrow. These overly serious people always abide by the rules and are polite to others. This will really win the favor of others. In the final analysis, this is just a shallow relationship. If you don't show your essence like this forever, you can't achieve deep-seated communication. Even if you are trusted and liked through superficial communication, it is only an extremely shallow trust relationship established by dealing with general affairs, and will not really be trusted as a person and an irreplaceable person. To put it harshly, taking the relationship between men and women as an example, this kind of trust and love, that is, the kind of convenient trust and love for the object of casual play, is not sincere trust and love, and there will be no idea of "I'm not playing with this person, I'm serious". No matter how you forbid yourself to be coquettish, no matter how serious and disciplined you are, all you can get is the trust of Ping Shui. It is not a serious attitude that makes the other party have the idea of "wanting to marry him" and "wanting to spend this life with him". The same is true for same-sex communication. The so-called love is limited to love in a specific situation, and the so-called trust is also limited to trust in a specific situation. Of course, if it is limited to love and trust in a certain situation, compliance with norms is indeed the safest behavior. But in that case, even after many years, they can't become iron brothers. Although the desire to be coquettish is very strong, they prohibit themselves from being coquettish and insist on a serious life. Such people lack human charm and will not be irresistibly attracted by them. Whether of the same sex or the opposite sex, the other party will one day go their separate ways. People who can bring meaning to their own life, people who can make themselves reflect on their past way of life, people who can change their opinions, and people who can open a new chapter in their own life - these can't be overly serious people. Spoiled people who want to be satisfied don't worry too much about others. They also have charm as human beings. The so-called charm as a person can give the other party a sense of certainty. It can also be said that the existence of this person can bring the meaning of life to others. Those who are eager to be coquettish in the depths of their hearts, but can't be coquettish to anyone, are the most problematic. This kind of person is trusted by everyone on the surface, but no one will trust him from the heart. Those who are particularly nice to outsiders are actually unable to show a desire to be coquettish in front of outsiders. The same is true of those who are particularly bad to their families. Even in front of their families, they will never show their coquetry. The reason why they put a bad face at home is that they are more likely to be influenced by their inner desire to be spoiled at home. Compared with outsiders, family members make themselves feel more secure. However, in the final analysis, this sense of security is only "compared with outsiders", not real peace of mind. Although it is not really reassuring, but relatively speaking, the psychological defense is reduced, and it is easier to realize your coquettish desire. However, this desire cannot be expressed directly. Compared with others, they will feel more lost, more boring and more dissatisfied because their desires are not satisfied.