Amy is very depressed recently because she lost a big customer who was about to be negotiated. The reason is that last weekend, she learned the news of the customer's divorce from her friends and chatted with others on wechat to take this opportunity to express comfort and concern. As a result, he was blackmailed by the other party before he said two words. I asked her what she had said, and she quickly replied, "in fact, it's nothing. I just advised her not to be sad for people who are not worth it. If you meet a scum man, leave early and get rid of early." "How do you know they met a scum man?" I'm a little curious. "It must be. What other reasons can a woman of this age get divorced except her husband's cheating?" Amy stared and said innocently, "I think I treat customers as friends. It's obviously kind. How can I be hated?" Because of this, the customer later found the company and complained about her invasion of privacy and meddling. Amy was also criticized and deducted the bonus of the current month, so she suffered a lot. "I think" is Amy's mantra. It's not the first time that she has suffered a loss. At the end of last year, I went to a party with her and happened to meet Lin Bing, an engineer of the cooperative unit. At the dinner party, she warmly asked Lin Bing for a toast. After being declined several times, she directly changed her face. I advised her that maybe the other party was unwell, but she didn't think so. She felt that a big man didn't drink at all. He was either a wife slave or a small family. Later, the two units needed to jointly prepare a project, with Lin Bing as the person in charge, and his first request was not to cooperate with Amy. Amy has always boasted that she is a smart man. She always likes to speculate on other people's ideas and firmly believes that her understanding is correct. As everyone knows, this too subjective judgment will not only confuse the sense of boundaries of interpersonal relationships, but also lower others' sense of trust in themselves and narrow the road. To live by oneself is often mistaken by wisdom. two Impose selfishness on others and get only alienation. If you understand others with kindness, you will get respect. Six months ago, I selected and applied for a teaching course for my children online. Xiao Wu is the customer service staff responsible for docking with me. When I first signed up, he told me that the first eight sessions were all experience classes. If I was not satisfied, I could get a refund. After the class, Xiao Wu has been following up patiently, often taking the initiative to leave messages to ask about the children's learning, and answer all kinds of questions for us in time. On the contrary, I sometimes ignore answering his messages because of my busy work. Because the child's foundation is too poor and can't keep up with the progress, at the end of the first eight classes, I discussed with my husband whether to return it first and let the child lay the foundation first and report next year. But I'm a little embarrassed to think of Xiao Wu's warm and thoughtful service in the past two months. I was hesitating how to speak, but I got a call from him first to remind me whether I need a refund. I'm quite surprised. In general, if the customer doesn't take the initiative to offer a refund, as a customer service staff, it's not necessary to take the initiative to remind. After all, for him, one less business will certainly lead to one less income. "In fact, I think it's very simple. To be a man and do things, you should exchange sincerity for sincerity. You can't ask others to do things you feel at a loss." He smiled shyly on the phone. After listening to him, I couldn't help but look at the young man with new eyes, and finally decided to let the child continue to study. Just yesterday, Xiao Wu left me a message saying that he was promoted to the supervisor, and then there will be a new person to follow up my course. He also repeatedly and sincerely assured me that the quality of service would not be left behind. I know that for him, promotion and salary increase will happen sooner or later. There are two famous sayings in the Analects of Confucius: if you want to stand, you can stand, and if you want to reach, you can reach others; Do not do to others what you do not want. You should first establish a heart of kindness to others, and then others will be kind to you; Be open-minded to others before others will be tolerant to you. The real wisdom is to push oneself to others. Only by putting yourself in others' shoes and taking others' feelings to heart can you achieve yourself. three There is a "projection effect" in psychology, which refers to projecting one's feelings, will and characteristics onto others and imposing them on others, believing that others also have similar characteristics to themselves. In interpersonal communication, people who ignore the feelings of others and just live by themselves usually stem from this lack of objective cognitive projection. Many times, you only see the surface of things, but you don't know the specific reason at all. This superficial conclusion is not only harm to others, but also deceive ourselves. It's no good to others or yourself. A person's way of dealing with others hides his cultivation and vision. The more you see and cultivate, the more you understand that everyone has their own experience and difficulties, and the more you know how to respect different lifestyles. He who knows the world will not treat others with worldly sophistication. A person's maturity lies in his consideration and consideration for others. Leaving more space for others is actually leaving room for yourself. Pushing oneself to others is the rare wisdom of life.

Amy is very depressed recently because she lost a big customer who was about to be negotiated. The reason is that last weekend, she learned the news of the customer's divorce from her friends and chatted with others on wechat to take this opportunity to express comfort and concern. As a result, he was blackmailed by the other party before he said two words. I asked her what she had said, and she quickly replied, "in fact, it's nothing. I just advised her not to be sad for people who are not worth it. If you meet a scum man, leave early and get rid of early." "How do you know they met a scum man?" I'm a little curious. "It must be. What other reasons can a woman of this age get divorced except her husband's cheating?" Amy stared and said innocently, "I think I treat customers as friends. It's obviously kind. How can I be hated?" Because of this, the customer later found the company and complained about her invasion of privacy and meddling. Amy was also criticized and deducted the bonus of the current month, so she suffered a lot. "I think" is Amy's mantra. It's not the first time that she has suffered a loss. At the end of last year, I went to a party with her and happened to meet Lin Bing, an engineer of the cooperative unit. At the dinner party, she warmly asked Lin Bing for a toast. After being declined several times, she directly changed her face. I advised her that maybe the other party was unwell, but she didn't think so. She felt that a big man didn't drink at all. He was either a wife slave or a small family. Later, the two units needed to jointly prepare a project, with Lin Bing as the person in charge, and his first request was not to cooperate with Amy. Amy has always boasted that she is a smart man. She always likes to speculate on other people's ideas and firmly believes that her understanding is correct. As everyone knows, this too subjective judgment will not only confuse the sense of boundaries of interpersonal relationships, but also lower others' sense of trust in themselves and narrow the road. To live by oneself is often mistaken by wisdom. two Impose selfishness on others and get only alienation. If you understand others with kindness, you will get respect. Six months ago, I selected and applied for a teaching course for my children online. Xiao Wu is the customer service staff responsible for docking with me. When I first signed up, he told me that the first eight sessions were all experience classes. If I was not satisfied, I could get a refund. After the class, Xiao Wu has been following up patiently, often taking the initiative to leave messages to ask about the children's learning, and answer all kinds of questions for us in time. On the contrary, I sometimes ignore answering his messages because of my busy work. Because the child's foundation is too poor and can't keep up with the progress, at the end of the first eight classes, I discussed with my husband whether to return it first and let the child lay the foundation first and report next year. But I'm a little embarrassed to think of Xiao Wu's warm and thoughtful service in the past two months. I was hesitating how to speak, but I got a call from him first to remind me whether I need a refund. I'm quite surprised. In general, if the customer doesn't take the initiative to offer a refund, as a customer service staff, it's not necessary to take the initiative to remind. After all, for him, one less business will certainly lead to one less income. "In fact, I think it's very simple. To be a man and do things, you should exchange sincerity for sincerity. You can't ask others to do things you feel at a loss." He smiled shyly on the phone. After listening to him, I couldn't help but look at the young man with new eyes, and finally decided to let the child continue to study. Just yesterday, Xiao Wu left me a message saying that he was promoted to the supervisor, and then there will be a new person to follow up my course. He also repeatedly and sincerely assured me that the quality of service would not be left behind. I know that for him, promotion and salary increase will happen sooner or later. There are two famous sayings in the Analects of Confucius: if you want to stand, you can stand, and if you want to reach, you can reach others; Do not do to others what you do not want. You should first establish a heart of kindness to others, and then others will be kind to you; Be open-minded to others before others will be tolerant to you. The real wisdom is to push oneself to others. Only by putting yourself in others' shoes and taking others' feelings to heart can you achieve yourself. three There is a "projection effect" in psychology, which refers to projecting one's feelings, will and characteristics onto others and imposing them on others, believing that others also have similar characteristics to themselves. In interpersonal communication, people who ignore the feelings of others and just live by themselves usually stem from this lack of objective cognitive projection. Many times, you only see the surface of things, but you don't know the specific reason at all. This superficial conclusion is not only harm to others, but also deceive ourselves. It's no good to others or yourself. A person's way of dealing with others hides his cultivation and vision. The more you see and cultivate, the more you understand that everyone has their own experience and difficulties, and the more you know how to respect different lifestyles. He who knows the world will not treat others with worldly sophistication. A person's maturity lies in his consideration and consideration for others. Leaving more space for others is actually leaving room for yourself. Pushing oneself to others is the rare wisdom of life.