I know exactly what I want, but I don't try. What does it feel like to work for what you like? I don't know!

It seems like there is a humble self which has overcome that dazzling and bright self.

Why do I have low self-esteem?

Because of my looks?

Because of character?

Because of my family background?

These things I can obviously rely on, why in the end became a burden instead?

I don't know, I don't know.

I always worry that I will be in an awkward situation, the only valley of dilemma.

I will always remember that time when my junior high school class teacher was in my office when I failed to perform well in the monthly exam.

He said, "Little fish, I just want to make you cry."

"......" When I first heard these words, my expression instantly stiffened and the corners of my mouth involuntarily twitched a few times.

"I'm obviously that miserable this time, you first said ugly things to make me, who doesn't cry easily, look like this, and then you said sarcastic words when I was crackling and dropping gold threads. What kind of class teacher is this?"

I was not sure what to say, but my eyes were wide with confusion, trying to hear what the teacher, who had been awarded as the best graduating class teacher for several years, had to say to himself.

"You've been pretending to be a good boy, a happy boy, for long enough. Why not inspire yourself to do the things that you might be able to do? Why do you have to get to a desperate situation to make a choice? Why do you have to get to the point where things are so bad to clean up this mess?"

Those were words that I always took to heart. He really understood me, from the perspective of a friend, using the most simple language to make the young me gradually understand myself.

Yes, my character is not optimistic, even some negative. But the cheeky illusion let everyone else know: I, little fish like the iron star of summer. People can make jokes about me at will, I will never get angry.

To be honest, I don't know how others can see that I am this big-hearted character. In fact, underneath that illusion is a delicate heart. It can't stand a hint of contempt. The learning environment has determined that when I was young I had a stronger self-esteem than anyone else.

So far I am almost 30 years old, but I can't figure out whether I tend to be inferior or confident now. Who else can understand me?

I know exactly what I want, but I don't try. What does it feel like to work for what you like? I don't know!

It seems like there is a humble self which has overcome that dazzling and bright self.

Why do I have low self-esteem?

Because of my looks?

Because of character?

Because of my family background?

These things I can obviously rely on, why in the end became a burden instead?

I don't know, I don't know.

I always worry that I will be in an awkward situation, the only valley of dilemma.

I will always remember that time when my junior high school class teacher was in my office when I failed to perform well in the monthly exam.

He said, "Little fish, I just want to make you cry."

"......" When I first heard these words, my expression instantly stiffened and the corners of my mouth involuntarily twitched a few times.

"I'm obviously that miserable this time, you first said ugly things to make me, who doesn't cry easily, look like this, and then you said sarcastic words when I was crackling and dropping gold threads. What kind of class teacher is this?"

I was not sure what to say, but my eyes were wide with confusion, trying to hear what the teacher, who had been awarded as the best graduating class teacher for several years, had to say to himself.

"You've been pretending to be a good boy, a happy boy, for long enough. Why not inspire yourself to do the things that you might be able to do? Why do you have to get to a desperate situation to make a choice? Why do you have to get to the point where things are so bad to clean up this mess?"

Those were words that I always took to heart. He really understood me, from the perspective of a friend, using the most simple language to make the young me gradually understand myself.

Yes, my character is not optimistic, even some negative. But the cheeky illusion let everyone else know: I, little fish like the iron star of summer. People can make jokes about me at will, I will never get angry.

To be honest, I don't know how others can see that I am this big-hearted character. In fact, underneath that illusion is a delicate heart. It can't stand a hint of contempt. The learning environment has determined that when I was young I had a stronger self-esteem than anyone else.

So far I am almost 30 years old, but I can't figure out whether I tend to be inferior or confident now. Who else can understand me?