Every year around January 1, my planning disease began to attack again. I will ask myself, how have I accomplished my tasks in the past year, and what will I do in the new year? Because "I like great achievements", a series of volunteers set for myself at the beginning of the year will aggravate my depression at the end of the year. At the beginning of 2014, the topics that I hoped to write were still not written by the end of the year. Looking back, there is inevitably deep frustration and regret. In November, because of the haze in Beijing, I sent my children back to my parents in my hometown to spend two more months alone. I have done a lot of my own things in one breath, I want to read and write, and I have taken care of my health and spirit... During this period, I have realized that the real situation - my frustration stems from my inability to balance, I can't keep up with my efforts, but I have wayward high expectations for some things. The objective facts are there. I just don't want to see them. There is a limit to a person's energy. The input of time, energy and mental effort to a thing is directly proportional to the result. Without making choices and giving up, it's hard for you to talk about the harvest of something alone. Behind this is man's "willfulness". People are emotional, not rational. If you want something, just express what you want, instead of keeping a sober choice on an objective basis and exercising restraint. As I thought at the beginning of last year, I want to try my best to accompany my children, to overcome the bottleneck in my career, to become a person who often brings warmth and intimacy to the circle of friends, and to properly and safely manage all the relationships of diet, health care and financial management at home... But as long as you calm down and allocate your 24 hours, you will know that it really needs a robot to do this. If you go further, you will see the refusal to recognize the "self limit", which may be due to the obsession with various superficial names and identities. I want to be a good mother and a good wife because I feel that I am not good enough. I have to be "someone" before I feel that my self-worth has been proved. The excellent feeling, the sense of control that everything is under control, why is it the state of life I want to hold firmly? Planning may really be a disease. Trying to be "someone" is just because you resist the frustration of being "not someone" right now. The harder you plan, the more dissatisfied you are with yourself. I am ashamed to think of "women should love themselves", which is a rotten saying. As for how to love yourself, today is a lesson. When things came to an end, I really found that I still didn't love myself. I was just asking myself to do something. At the same time, I also asked myself to love myself. I didn't know who I was and what I wanted. I've seen happy people who never make plans. That is an old Chinese doctor. He gets up at 6:30 every morning, makes a Yijinjing, eats a bowl of leftovers from the previous day, and arrives at the clinic at 8 o'clock on time. The patient has been waiting for a room. He changes his clothes and sits down to see a doctor. He tries not to drink water in the middle, for fear that he will not have time to go to the toilet to delay seeing a doctor. Always see a doctor until 2 o'clock. Instead of having lunch, I drink a bowl of millet porridge. And then I left work. This morning and noon, we usually see 180 patients in a row. In the afternoon, I went home to play with my grandson, read medical books and write medical records. Have dinner in the evening, deal with trivial matters, and go to bed around 9 o'clock. He said that he spent every day like this, and the new year's Eve like this, almost without exception. It has been 60 years since then. He is 88 years old. He is vigorous, walks fast and speaks loudly. I asked him if he had any other hobbies and entertainment in life. He said that there was no need for entertainment. I saw some patients every day to deal with some difficult problems. Not everyone was sure. Sometimes I had to try this method. Then I also tried it. I went home and looked at the ancient sage's medical books. I got some gains and insights. I patted my thigh, "Hey, my ancestors didn't cheat me. That's really the case.". That feeling is really happy. He said that one year his daughter had to take him on a trip for only three days. The scenery was good, but he remembered those patients. Once he returned to the clinic, he felt energetic again. Later, he never went on a trip again. The scenery was good and didn't appeal to me. I am ashamed and convinced. This is a real education. The old man "came to life", not out of words. Here, I deliberately did not list his achievements in medicine. Needless to say, you can see how he lives. The tangled inner drama has disappeared in his life. That is the state that everyone really pursues. Happiness is not the ultimate peak happiness, because there must be peaks and valleys. Happiness should be a straight line of emotions and the final cessation of various internal questions. Those who have been struggling in the "who I am, who I want to be, and who I failed to do" drama should come to him to be infected. When you immerse yourself in the pure professional investment like a child, you will understand that in the end, there is no need for any planning. This year, it is not important to write several books and do several projects. It is to find a way of life, which is personalized and only based on your internal psychological kinetic energy. Let the external rhythm resonate with the internal kinetic energy. The source of kinetic energy is the path dependence on happiness that the old man said "Hey, a pat on the thigh". There are two obstacles in the process of admitting "self truth": First, many people do not admit who they are. For example, a person who is interested in learning feels that scientific research does not make money and makes a career plan for the financial industry. They will say that you should not be too idealistic, and then desperately plan what you want to become in a few years, leaving your real momentum of achievement trapped in the bottom of your heart. I think the "truth of self" is objective. If you don't sincerely do something, no matter how scientifically you plan it, your rhythm still can't match the rhythm of that thing. The reason why you don't choose to admit the truth is also very simple, that is, some so-called comparison and analysis during planning. The utilitarian thinking is to seek advantages and avoid disadvantages. This survival strategy is just a short-term choice made by ancient humans because of the harsh living environment in nature. "Self truth" is often called "too idealistic" here, but only from the perspective of long-term effect, the key to doing a good job is to conform to the rhythm and kinetic energy of the real self. Second, the sense of rhythm and restraint. As I said, I can't balance the tearing of my energy in various affairs, but I can't stop the perfect disease of trying to do everything well. Therefore, I am obsessed with planning and can't afford failure planning, so I always experience frustration. Sometimes they are lazy, sometimes they are just greedy, and sometimes they are just vain and persistent to excellent roles. To love yourself is not to be the most perfect, but to be true to your inner rhythm. Life has a track that will run by itself. What you can want, what you don't want, what you can achieve, and don't have too many ideas that need immediate results. The most important thing is to cultivate the path dependence on happiness, so as not to be lazy and lazy today, and not to disturb the inner peace because of a little new year's fireworks and other people's comments and eyes. Because you know what great happiness is, you will not be moved by these little indulgences. Chai Jing wrote in the book, "the truth is often lost between tears." I finally admitted that I didn't know myself and didn't intend to really know myself until I was in my thirties. Instead, I said emotionally that I wanted to. Yes, you must exercise restraint. Before tears, the truth of oneself is the most important. A marching song in high spirits in the new year, and a monologue at the end of the year. I don't want to play such an inner drama again. After the new year's Eve in 2015, I wrote in my circle of friends that I also hope to share with all my good friends: "A person can simply live. Do what you like and leave it to time without thinking about anything. Like a drop of water, it just falls. A stone will wear it one day, but water is just unintentional. The ideal of life is to grow into yourself. The key is to hear the rhythm of the drop of water every day. A person can do without planning. Everything is just unintentional and attentive."

Every year around January 1, my planning disease began to attack again. I will ask myself, how have I accomplished my tasks in the past year, and what will I do in the new year? Because "I like great achievements", a series of volunteers set for myself at the beginning of the year will aggravate my depression at the end of the year. At the beginning of 2014, the topics that I hoped to write were still not written by the end of the year. Looking back, there is inevitably deep frustration and regret. In November, because of the haze in Beijing, I sent my children back to my parents in my hometown to spend two more months alone. I have done a lot of my own things in one breath, I want to read and write, and I have taken care of my health and spirit... During this period, I have realized that the real situation - my frustration stems from my inability to balance, I can't keep up with my efforts, but I have wayward high expectations for some things. The objective facts are there. I just don't want to see them. There is a limit to a person's energy. The input of time, energy and mental effort to a thing is directly proportional to the result. Without making choices and giving up, it's hard for you to talk about the harvest of something alone. Behind this is man's "willfulness". People are emotional, not rational. If you want something, just express what you want, instead of keeping a sober choice on an objective basis and exercising restraint. As I thought at the beginning of last year, I want to try my best to accompany my children, to overcome the bottleneck in my career, to become a person who often brings warmth and intimacy to the circle of friends, and to properly and safely manage all the relationships of diet, health care and financial management at home... But as long as you calm down and allocate your 24 hours, you will know that it really needs a robot to do this. If you go further, you will see the refusal to recognize the "self limit", which may be due to the obsession with various superficial names and identities. I want to be a good mother and a good wife because I feel that I am not good enough. I have to be "someone" before I feel that my self-worth has been proved. The excellent feeling, the sense of control that everything is under control, why is it the state of life I want to hold firmly? Planning may really be a disease. Trying to be "someone" is just because you resist the frustration of being "not someone" right now. The harder you plan, the more dissatisfied you are with yourself. I am ashamed to think of "women should love themselves", which is a rotten saying. As for how to love yourself, today is a lesson. When things came to an end, I really found that I still didn't love myself. I was just asking myself to do something. At the same time, I also asked myself to love myself. I didn't know who I was and what I wanted. I've seen happy people who never make plans. That is an old Chinese doctor. He gets up at 6:30 every morning, makes a Yijinjing, eats a bowl of leftovers from the previous day, and arrives at the clinic at 8 o'clock on time. The patient has been waiting for a room. He changes his clothes and sits down to see a doctor. He tries not to drink water in the middle, for fear that he will not have time to go to the toilet to delay seeing a doctor. Always see a doctor until 2 o'clock. Instead of having lunch, I drink a bowl of millet porridge. And then I left work. This morning and noon, we usually see 180 patients in a row. In the afternoon, I went home to play with my grandson, read medical books and write medical records. Have dinner in the evening, deal with trivial matters, and go to bed around 9 o'clock. He said that he spent every day like this, and the new year's Eve like this, almost without exception. It has been 60 years since then. He is 88 years old. He is vigorous, walks fast and speaks loudly. I asked him if he had any other hobbies and entertainment in life. He said that there was no need for entertainment. I saw some patients every day to deal with some difficult problems. Not everyone was sure. Sometimes I had to try this method. Then I also tried it. I went home and looked at the ancient sage's medical books. I got some gains and insights. I patted my thigh, "Hey, my ancestors didn't cheat me. That's really the case.". That feeling is really happy. He said that one year his daughter had to take him on a trip for only three days. The scenery was good, but he remembered those patients. Once he returned to the clinic, he felt energetic again. Later, he never went on a trip again. The scenery was good and didn't appeal to me. I am ashamed and convinced. This is a real education. The old man "came to life", not out of words. Here, I deliberately did not list his achievements in medicine. Needless to say, you can see how he lives. The tangled inner drama has disappeared in his life. That is the state that everyone really pursues. Happiness is not the ultimate peak happiness, because there must be peaks and valleys. Happiness should be a straight line of emotions and the final cessation of various internal questions. Those who have been struggling in the "who I am, who I want to be, and who I failed to do" drama should come to him to be infected. When you immerse yourself in the pure professional investment like a child, you will understand that in the end, there is no need for any planning. This year, it is not important to write several books and do several projects. It is to find a way of life, which is personalized and only based on your internal psychological kinetic energy. Let the external rhythm resonate with the internal kinetic energy. The source of kinetic energy is the path dependence on happiness that the old man said "Hey, a pat on the thigh". There are two obstacles in the process of admitting "self truth": First, many people do not admit who they are. For example, a person who is interested in learning feels that scientific research does not make money and makes a career plan for the financial industry. They will say that you should not be too idealistic, and then desperately plan what you want to become in a few years, leaving your real momentum of achievement trapped in the bottom of your heart. I think the "truth of self" is objective. If you don't sincerely do something, no matter how scientifically you plan it, your rhythm still can't match the rhythm of that thing. The reason why you don't choose to admit the truth is also very simple, that is, some so-called comparison and analysis during planning. The utilitarian thinking is to seek advantages and avoid disadvantages. This survival strategy is just a short-term choice made by ancient humans because of the harsh living environment in nature. "Self truth" is often called "too idealistic" here, but only from the perspective of long-term effect, the key to doing a good job is to conform to the rhythm and kinetic energy of the real self. Second, the sense of rhythm and restraint. As I said, I can't balance the tearing of my energy in various affairs, but I can't stop the perfect disease of trying to do everything well. Therefore, I am obsessed with planning and can't afford failure planning, so I always experience frustration. Sometimes they are lazy, sometimes they are just greedy, and sometimes they are just vain and persistent to excellent roles. To love yourself is not to be the most perfect, but to be true to your inner rhythm. Life has a track that will run by itself. What you can want, what you don't want, what you can achieve, and don't have too many ideas that need immediate results. The most important thing is to cultivate the path dependence on happiness, so as not to be lazy and lazy today, and not to disturb the inner peace because of a little new year's fireworks and other people's comments and eyes. Because you know what great happiness is, you will not be moved by these little indulgences. Chai Jing wrote in the book, "the truth is often lost between tears." I finally admitted that I didn't know myself and didn't intend to really know myself until I was in my thirties. Instead, I said emotionally that I wanted to. Yes, you must exercise restraint. Before tears, the truth of oneself is the most important. A marching song in high spirits in the new year, and a monologue at the end of the year. I don't want to play such an inner drama again. After the new year's Eve in 2015, I wrote in my circle of friends that I also hope to share with all my good friends: "A person can simply live. Do what you like and leave it to time without thinking about anything. Like a drop of water, it just falls. A stone will wear it one day, but water is just unintentional. The ideal of life is to grow into yourself. The key is to hear the rhythm of the drop of water every day. A person can do without planning. Everything is just unintentional and attentive."