At the end of last year, I drove more than 3000 kilometers from Beijing to Guangzhou alone, thinking about a question: what is the difference between people? Why are there differences between people? I thought of a word: tear down the fence of thinking. Later, I saw the book "tearing down the wall of thinking" at the airport, and I felt very sad. I don't usually read the book of success studies. In fact, I don't think it is a Book of success studies. The author's thinking gave me a lot of inspiration. I have found that sometimes limits are limits themselves. If you think you can't, you really can't; If you think you can be stronger, you really become stronger. Have you ever thought that what really limits us is the invisible wall in our minds? Most of this wall comes from inner insecurity. I think the essence of a sense of security is not that you are really safe, but that you are not afraid of danger and dare to face difficulties. It's normal that everyone is chasing a sense of security, but many people have become slaves to a sense of security. What is the slave of security? Is afraid of change, keep the status quo, listen to others. The pursuit of a sense of security is a human instinct, but the sense of security must be obtained through the real strength of the heart. Security is giving, not taking. The more you fear, the more you take, the more insecurity you feel. It is precisely because many people are full of fear about the world and there are many difficulties in life that many of us unconsciously become victims. This is called "victim psychology". This fear and insecurity nourishes a victim mentality. When you encounter difficulties, you will always feel that the world is unfair and full of problems. The author attributes this model to the victim paradise. What is victim paradise? It's a place the victims would like to go most. Everyone gathered there, comforted each other, and then felt that life was really like this. The author summarizes several laws of victim paradise. The first law of victim paradise is to shirk responsibility and save face. All the problems are none of my business, not my fault. If a child doesn't learn well and his parents ask, the victim will say that it's not that I don't study hard, but that the teacher doesn't speak well; If a task is not completed, but is questioned by the boss, the victim will say, it is not my problem, it is the customer who is too picky. All virtues are his, and all mistakes belong to others and society. Of course, they haven't done much. The author mentions in the book that the victims do not need to achieve anything. They just need to keep talking and making up stories. But the problem is that the story was very true at first, then it began to exaggerate, and then he slowly believed that he lived in a world where the boss was harsh, the wife was not cute, and the teacher was not good. Many colleagues complain to me about how difficult they are. In fact, those so-called "difficulties" don't have to be compared with me at all. How difficult was it for us to start a business? At that time, I didn't even see my grandfather for the last time because I had to rush to work. After getting off the bus, I didn't dare to go back. I sat on the roadside and cried for a long time. However, when I say this, they have another trick. They will say that you are the boss, so you should. This is the problem of eggs and chickens. Am I the boss from the first day? This is another universal solution. In short, in the paradise of victims, a person's failure to do a good job is definitely not a matter of personal ability, but a problem with this thing. The second law of the victims' paradise goes one step further, which is to do evil with peace of mind. In the workplace, many people can feel at ease if they don't work hard every day. Why? Because he thought that the company was too bad, the boss was too strict and didn't understand us, so I was OK. According to a study in the United States, in Xinxin prison, few criminals will admit that they are bad people. They will defend what they have done. They all firmly believe that they should not be put in prison. Many evil doers have a perfect victim story. Once, when I was a department manager, I would tell people in the group that it was hard to follow me. If you feel uncomfortable, you will have another chance. But as long as you stay here for one day, you must be worthy of your own every day. Let alone the company, you must be worthy of yourself first. What is more precious than your own time? The so-called work for the company means working for yourself? If you can't figure it out and feel at ease, it's better to find a more comfortable environment. In fact, there is no environment in the world that will make you feel comfortable. We must become stronger and stronger to face the world bravely. The third law of the victims' paradise is: sharing sad stories. The victims have a common hobby, that is, being miserable. Everyone gathered together to share all kinds of sad stories, which evolved into a sad story club. This kind of tragic story meeting is not only in people's talk after dinner, but also in the whole society. For example, many TV stations have one or several programs about who is worse than who, and the ratings are quite high. Because people who have watched these programs will find comfort. It turns out that there are still such tragic things in the world. Everyone gets a lot of cheap happiness and nihilistic comfort from other people's victim stories. The author also gives many vivid examples in the book. In the victim paradise, if you are lovelorn, your female companions will gather together to drink with you, saying that men don't have a good thing; If you are scolded by your boss in the morning, you will soon be absorbed into the victimized team of the company. The main task of their lunch is to discuss how cruel their boss is (I don't know how many times they have been discussed); If a child accidentally falls to the ground and cries loudly, parents will not blame the child for not walking well, but will beat the floor and say that the floor is wrong, and the child laughs happily. In such a paradise, we actually immerse ourselves in it, get used to it, immerse ourselves and start sharing. Victim paradise helps "victims" easily get sympathy and help, just like a person who feels that someone may visit him after he is ill. They fell into an endless emotional black hole in this comfortable victim paradise. But what should we do? In fact, the core is to control yourself. First of all, we must admit a cruel reality - this society is not so fair, but it does not affect your happy work in the society. So how can we change from a victim to a controller? Let's start with an honest thought: no matter what the situation, you can take full responsibility. As long as you are willing, you can do better. You can even make a psychological assumption - if you go back to all the things you have experienced, and all the conditions do not change, only you change, can you make a better result? If the answer is yes, then you begin to enter the role of controller; If your answer is no, you think you have done well enough before. All the bad things are the problems of others. When we started our business, my colleagues and I often locked ourselves in the office to review each other, constantly reflecting on which things were not done well, which things could be better, and whether there would be a better choice. I used to think this was a very simple problem. Later, I communicated with many people and found that this problem was not easy. Because few people are willing to face the denied self, the process is very painful, and they need to constantly abandon their past self. All the things you have experienced are actually your wealth. This reminds me of the letter Liu Chuanzhi wrote to yangyuanqing. When you are a turkey, others will not think you are older than him. At this time, you can reflect, do I really do well enough? The world is so unfair, you just do better, others do not recognize. You must be an ostrich, which is much bigger than the chicken. At that time, all people will say hello. If you think the world is unfair, you may not be strong enough in essence. You have not done well enough. In fact, the difference between people is not as big as we imagined. It is not so much the difference in IQ as the difference in thinking. We cannot change the rules of the world and our past, but at least we can change our attitude towards the world, change our view of the past, and face the world again with a new mode of thinking. You can always control something if you like. Who has no pain, who has no entanglement? Unless your victimization pattern puts you deep in complaint and self pity. As long as you are willing to face your work and life again with a controlling attitude, you will feel happy.

At the end of last year, I drove more than 3000 kilometers from Beijing to Guangzhou alone, thinking about a question: what is the difference between people? Why are there differences between people? I thought of a word: tear down the fence of thinking. Later, I saw the book "tearing down the wall of thinking" at the airport, and I felt very sad. I don't usually read the book of success studies. In fact, I don't think it is a Book of success studies. The author's thinking gave me a lot of inspiration. I have found that sometimes limits are limits themselves. If you think you can't, you really can't; If you think you can be stronger, you really become stronger. Have you ever thought that what really limits us is the invisible wall in our minds? Most of this wall comes from inner insecurity. I think the essence of a sense of security is not that you are really safe, but that you are not afraid of danger and dare to face difficulties. It's normal that everyone is chasing a sense of security, but many people have become slaves to a sense of security. What is the slave of security? Is afraid of change, keep the status quo, listen to others. The pursuit of a sense of security is a human instinct, but the sense of security must be obtained through the real strength of the heart. Security is giving, not taking. The more you fear, the more you take, the more insecurity you feel. It is precisely because many people are full of fear about the world and there are many difficulties in life that many of us unconsciously become victims. This is called "victim psychology". This fear and insecurity nourishes a victim mentality. When you encounter difficulties, you will always feel that the world is unfair and full of problems. The author attributes this model to the victim paradise. What is victim paradise? It's a place the victims would like to go most. Everyone gathered there, comforted each other, and then felt that life was really like this. The author summarizes several laws of victim paradise. The first law of victim paradise is to shirk responsibility and save face. All the problems are none of my business, not my fault. If a child doesn't learn well and his parents ask, the victim will say that it's not that I don't study hard, but that the teacher doesn't speak well; If a task is not completed, but is questioned by the boss, the victim will say, it is not my problem, it is the customer who is too picky. All virtues are his, and all mistakes belong to others and society. Of course, they haven't done much. The author mentions in the book that the victims do not need to achieve anything. They just need to keep talking and making up stories. But the problem is that the story was very true at first, then it began to exaggerate, and then he slowly believed that he lived in a world where the boss was harsh, the wife was not cute, and the teacher was not good. Many colleagues complain to me about how difficult they are. In fact, those so-called "difficulties" don't have to be compared with me at all. How difficult was it for us to start a business? At that time, I didn't even see my grandfather for the last time because I had to rush to work. After getting off the bus, I didn't dare to go back. I sat on the roadside and cried for a long time. However, when I say this, they have another trick. They will say that you are the boss, so you should. This is the problem of eggs and chickens. Am I the boss from the first day? This is another universal solution. In short, in the paradise of victims, a person's failure to do a good job is definitely not a matter of personal ability, but a problem with this thing. The second law of the victims' paradise goes one step further, which is to do evil with peace of mind. In the workplace, many people can feel at ease if they don't work hard every day. Why? Because he thought that the company was too bad, the boss was too strict and didn't understand us, so I was OK. According to a study in the United States, in Xinxin prison, few criminals will admit that they are bad people. They will defend what they have done. They all firmly believe that they should not be put in prison. Many evil doers have a perfect victim story. Once, when I was a department manager, I would tell people in the group that it was hard to follow me. If you feel uncomfortable, you will have another chance. But as long as you stay here for one day, you must be worthy of your own every day. Let alone the company, you must be worthy of yourself first. What is more precious than your own time? The so-called work for the company means working for yourself? If you can't figure it out and feel at ease, it's better to find a more comfortable environment. In fact, there is no environment in the world that will make you feel comfortable. We must become stronger and stronger to face the world bravely. The third law of the victims' paradise is: sharing sad stories. The victims have a common hobby, that is, being miserable. Everyone gathered together to share all kinds of sad stories, which evolved into a sad story club. This kind of tragic story meeting is not only in people's talk after dinner, but also in the whole society. For example, many TV stations have one or several programs about who is worse than who, and the ratings are quite high. Because people who have watched these programs will find comfort. It turns out that there are still such tragic things in the world. Everyone gets a lot of cheap happiness and nihilistic comfort from other people's victim stories. The author also gives many vivid examples in the book. In the victim paradise, if you are lovelorn, your female companions will gather together to drink with you, saying that men don't have a good thing; If you are scolded by your boss in the morning, you will soon be absorbed into the victimized team of the company. The main task of their lunch is to discuss how cruel their boss is (I don't know how many times they have been discussed); If a child accidentally falls to the ground and cries loudly, parents will not blame the child for not walking well, but will beat the floor and say that the floor is wrong, and the child laughs happily. In such a paradise, we actually immerse ourselves in it, get used to it, immerse ourselves and start sharing. Victim paradise helps "victims" easily get sympathy and help, just like a person who feels that someone may visit him after he is ill. They fell into an endless emotional black hole in this comfortable victim paradise. But what should we do? In fact, the core is to control yourself. First of all, we must admit a cruel reality - this society is not so fair, but it does not affect your happy work in the society. So how can we change from a victim to a controller? Let's start with an honest thought: no matter what the situation, you can take full responsibility. As long as you are willing, you can do better. You can even make a psychological assumption - if you go back to all the things you have experienced, and all the conditions do not change, only you change, can you make a better result? If the answer is yes, then you begin to enter the role of controller; If your answer is no, you think you have done well enough before. All the bad things are the problems of others. When we started our business, my colleagues and I often locked ourselves in the office to review each other, constantly reflecting on which things were not done well, which things could be better, and whether there would be a better choice. I used to think this was a very simple problem. Later, I communicated with many people and found that this problem was not easy. Because few people are willing to face the denied self, the process is very painful, and they need to constantly abandon their past self. All the things you have experienced are actually your wealth. This reminds me of the letter Liu Chuanzhi wrote to yangyuanqing. When you are a turkey, others will not think you are older than him. At this time, you can reflect, do I really do well enough? The world is so unfair, you just do better, others do not recognize. You must be an ostrich, which is much bigger than the chicken. At that time, all people will say hello. If you think the world is unfair, you may not be strong enough in essence. You have not done well enough. In fact, the difference between people is not as big as we imagined. It is not so much the difference in IQ as the difference in thinking. We cannot change the rules of the world and our past, but at least we can change our attitude towards the world, change our view of the past, and face the world again with a new mode of thinking. You can always control something if you like. Who has no pain, who has no entanglement? Unless your victimization pattern puts you deep in complaint and self pity. As long as you are willing to face your work and life again with a controlling attitude, you will feel happy.