Here is an article about time travel written in the specific English slang and casual tone often used by Gen Z internet culture.

***

POV: If Time Travel Was Real, It Would Be The Ultimate Glitch in the Matrix ✨

Okay bestie, let’s be for real for a sec. We have all had those moments where we physically recoil from cringe and wish we could just Ctrl+Z our entire existence. Whether it was that flop era in 2020 or that time you accidentally liked a crush's IG post from 87 weeks ago—the urge to time travel is so real.

But if we actually had a Time Machine (TARDIS style or whatever), would it be a total slay, or would we absolutely cook the timeline? Let’s deep dive into the lore.

 The "Canon Event" Dilemma 🕷

Here’s the tea: If you went back in time to stop yourself from dating that walking red flag, you might think you’re doing past-you a favor. But fam, that’s literally a Canon Event.

If you disrupt your own canon events, you might mess up your character development arc. You needed that heartbreak to get your gym gains and your glow-up. If you go back and fix everything, you might end up with zero personality in the present. And honestly? That’s not the vibe. We do it for the plot.

 The Butterfly Effect is No Joke 🦋

You know the rule: step on a butterfly in the Jurassic period, and suddenly TikTok doesn't exist in 2025.

Imagine going back to fix one tiny mistake, you come back to the present, and suddenly weird things happen—like, pineapple on pizza is illegal or Skibidi Toilet is the national anthem.

Messing with the timeline is risky business. You think you’re being the main character, but you might accidentally turn the world into a dystopian NPC nightmare.

Fast Forwarding: The Ultimate Spoiler? ⏩

On the flip side, what about traveling to the future? It sounds valid, checking if you eventually become rich or if you’re still in your "situationship."

But honestly, spoilers are the worst. If you find out you’re gonna be successful, you might stop grinding today and become lazy. If you find out the future is mid, you’ll just be depressed. Sometimes, living in delulu is the solulu. It’s better to just trust the process and let the algorithm of life do its thing.

The Verdict: Stick to the Current Patch

Look, time travel sounds like a cheat code, but the lag it would cause on reality isn't worth it. Instead of trying to rewrite the past or spoil the future, maybe we should just focus on not being an NPC in the present.

TL;DR:

Past: Don’t touch it. It’s cringe, but it’s your cringe.

Future: No spoilers, please.

Present: Just vibe, touch grass, and make memories that you won't want to delete later.

Period. 💅✨

 Glossary (Just in case):

No cap:No lie/For real.

Canon Event: An unavoidable event that shapes who you are (from Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse).

Cook/Cooked: To ruin something or be in a bad situation.

Vibe/The Vibe: The atmosphere or feeling.

NPC:Non-Playable Character (someone who lacks independent thought).

Delulu is the Solulu: Being delusional is the solution.

Main Character Energy:** Acting like the protagonist of your own life.

Here is an article about time travel written in the specific English slang and casual tone often used by Gen Z internet culture.

***

POV: If Time Travel Was Real, It Would Be The Ultimate Glitch in the Matrix ✨

Okay bestie, let’s be for real for a sec. We have all had those moments where we physically recoil from cringe and wish we could just Ctrl+Z our entire existence. Whether it was that flop era in 2020 or that time you accidentally liked a crush's IG post from 87 weeks ago—the urge to time travel is so real.

But if we actually had a Time Machine (TARDIS style or whatever), would it be a total slay, or would we absolutely cook the timeline? Let’s deep dive into the lore.

 The "Canon Event" Dilemma 🕷

Here’s the tea: If you went back in time to stop yourself from dating that walking red flag, you might think you’re doing past-you a favor. But fam, that’s literally a Canon Event.

If you disrupt your own canon events, you might mess up your character development arc. You needed that heartbreak to get your gym gains and your glow-up. If you go back and fix everything, you might end up with zero personality in the present. And honestly? That’s not the vibe. We do it for the plot.

 The Butterfly Effect is No Joke 🦋

You know the rule: step on a butterfly in the Jurassic period, and suddenly TikTok doesn't exist in 2025.

Imagine going back to fix one tiny mistake, you come back to the present, and suddenly weird things happen—like, pineapple on pizza is illegal or Skibidi Toilet is the national anthem.

Messing with the timeline is risky business. You think you’re being the main character, but you might accidentally turn the world into a dystopian NPC nightmare.

Fast Forwarding: The Ultimate Spoiler? ⏩

On the flip side, what about traveling to the future? It sounds valid, checking if you eventually become rich or if you’re still in your "situationship."

But honestly, spoilers are the worst. If you find out you’re gonna be successful, you might stop grinding today and become lazy. If you find out the future is mid, you’ll just be depressed. Sometimes, living in delulu is the solulu. It’s better to just trust the process and let the algorithm of life do its thing.

The Verdict: Stick to the Current Patch

Look, time travel sounds like a cheat code, but the lag it would cause on reality isn't worth it. Instead of trying to rewrite the past or spoil the future, maybe we should just focus on not being an NPC in the present.

TL;DR:

Past: Don’t touch it. It’s cringe, but it’s your cringe.

Future: No spoilers, please.

Present: Just vibe, touch grass, and make memories that you won't want to delete later.

Period. 💅✨

 Glossary (Just in case):

No cap:No lie/For real.

Canon Event: An unavoidable event that shapes who you are (from Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse).

Cook/Cooked: To ruin something or be in a bad situation.

Vibe/The Vibe: The atmosphere or feeling.

NPC:Non-Playable Character (someone who lacks independent thought).

Delulu is the Solulu: Being delusional is the solution.

Main Character Energy:** Acting like the protagonist of your own life.