Lao Tzu says that the river and sea can be the king of hundreds of valleys, so they can be good at it. The Analects of Confucius says that bowing is thick and blaming others is thin. "Jin Shu" says: people can forgive if they are inferior. "Wenzi" has a saying: a gentleman does not blame others. Xue Xuan said: only width can accommodate people, but thickness can carry things. Bomache said: the more guilty he is, the more unwilling he is to forgive others. La Fontaine said: picky people are always dissatisfied and will never be happy. The heart of tolerance is a great virtue of people. It is necessary to have a heart of tolerance in many aspects, such as life, health care, management and employment. So why do we have it? Here are some insights and views. [when you look at the glass with a microscope, it is also pitted; when you look at the palm with a microscope, it is also a gully] the surface of any object is not absolutely flat. In people's eyes, glass is very flat. If you look at it with a microscope, it is also pitted under the microscope; In people's eyes, the palm is also flat. If you look at it with a microscope, it is also a gully under the microscope. Similarly, no one is perfect and has shortcomings and shortcomings. Even if we "wear a microscope" to look at a very good person with demanding eyes, we will find that he has many shortcomings. This is because: first, the inevitability of shortcomings. 2、 If one aspect is too excellent, it will inevitably make some aspects too lacking. 3、 Advantages and disadvantages are relative. A person's performance is an advantage from this point of view, and may be a disadvantage from that point of view. On the contrary, it is the opposite. Therefore, we should not look at people with a critical and demanding eye, but with an appreciative and tolerant eye. You should know that beauty is ugly and wise is stupid. All men are beautiful when they are good, and all men are ugly when they are short. All men are gifted, all men are stupid, all men are short. [don't be too hard on others, and you may be far inferior to others] you may have met such people. They rarely praise and appreciate others, but blindly complain and blame others for "how bad and how bad". They often say without shame and don't know heaven and earth: "who can't do it? If I do it, I will do it better than him." As the saying goes, "standing and talking does not hurt your back" refers to this kind of people. What looks easy is often not easy to do. Some interns in medical schools saw the teacher do dozens of cases of appendicitis surgery. When they were confident that "it was a piece of cake", they really made him master the knife, and even couldn't find the appendix. Because the feeling, experience and understanding of "watching" and "doing" are completely different. The person who looks at it only looks at it and doesn't do it in person, so it's easy to only see the ease of doing things, but can't see the specific difficulties in many aspects. It's easy to only see its own strengths, but can't see that it has many shortcomings (body, heart, knowledge, ability, etc.). Therefore, we should not blindly criticize and demand others. If we really let ourselves do it, we are likely to do it in a mess, far inferior to others. [forgiving others is also forgiving oneself. Demanding others is also demanding oneself] for example, between husband and wife, if the wife can understand and tolerate the "bad habits" developed by her husband for decades, the "big problems" and the "bad hobbies", then she will appear very gentle, virtuous and considerate. In this way, the husband will not only love himself more, but also "spoil" himself, that is, tolerate himself. At the same time, because you can understand and tolerate your husband, you will also make yourself feel comfortable—— Forgiving your husband is also forgiving yourself. On the contrary, if you regard your husband's habits, faults and hobbies as a thorn in the flesh, look at them in your eyes, hate them in your heart, and NAG and complain all day, as a result, you will be full of resentment, dissatisfaction and unhappiness, and you will make your husband ignore and criticize yourself—— Demanding your husband is also demanding yourself. Similarly, if friends, colleagues and other social members tolerate each other, they are also tolerating themselves. If they are demanding of each other, they are also demanding of themselves. [it's more reasonable to forgive others if you have reason, but it's unreasonable if you don't have reason] as the saying goes: forgive others if you have reason. It means that although we are reasonable and others do wrong and unjustifiable, as long as others sincerely recognize our mistakes, admit our mistakes and promise to correct them, we will give tolerance. In this way, one is to appear magnanimous: be able to tolerate others' offenses and mistakes. Second, it seems reasonable: people are not sages, who can make mistakes; If we recognize our mistakes and have the heart of repentance, we should give tolerance and understanding and give people the opportunity to correct them. Therefore, when you are reasonable, if you can forgive someone who knows your mistakes, you will appear to be more self-restraint and reasonable. On the contrary, it seems to have no stomach, no self-restraint, no emotion and reason, so it seems unreasonable. [tolerance is the best criticism and blame] my childhood was in the 1960s. At that time, a job was very valuable in a poor family. If you accidentally hit your job, you usually have to be spanked. Therefore, the child who has played the bowl is afraid in his heart and shivering in his body. In this case, smart parents will not beat their children, but say: it doesn't matter. Pay attention in the future. Because the child didn't mean it, he knew he had made a big mistake and decided to be careful in the future. If you forgive him, he will be more careful not to make mistakes because he respects you and appreciates you. At this time, if parents beat and scold their children unreasonably, it will not play a role, but also hurt their children's self-esteem, and may even make deliberate mistakes due to their children's rebellious heart. It is better for us to be tolerant of the seriousness of the mistakes we make than to be determined to correct them. There are many examples where tolerance is better than blame, so I won't say much here. [recognize the differences between people, don't be strict with others] due to different innate qualities, different acquired experiences, different growth environments, different levels of education, and many other reasons, a person's unique personality, temperament, ability, ideal, interest, hobby and other personality will inevitably be formed. This requires that when we get along with others, we should not be too serious and demanding, have a flexible attitude, have a mind of reserving differences, not judge people with our own thoughts, not demand people with our own likes and dislikes, and not impose people with our own will. Different countries and nations should do the same: only by recognizing differences, respecting differences and seeking common ground while reserving differences can we live in harmony. [admit the shortcomings of others and don't be hard on others; admit your own shortcomings and don't be hard on yourself] everyone has shortcomings. Therefore, we should not be hard on others and ourselves. We have talked a lot about the problem of not demanding others. Here we mainly talk about the problem of not demanding yourself. Be hard on others and hard on yourself. Many people are very strong. They want to compare with others and surpass others in everything, but what is the result? Many people have a "strong heart, weak life, yellow face with anger". So this is because I don't realize my shortcomings and I don't know that I am inferior to others. People's time, energy, physical strength and financial resources are limited. Only by focusing on what they are good at can they achieve themselves. Otherwise, in order to be strong and use them in their own "short board" place, it will only be "labor yourself and waste money". Of course, such people also have a sense of arrogance and contempt for others. [history has its inevitability, and the past has its helplessness] many people's unhappiness is often due to not forgetting the unhappiness of the past, regretting their mistakes in the past, thinking how stupid it was at that time, and living in the painful shadow of regretting the past. In fact, this is because you can't tolerate yourself - yourself in the past. History has its inevitability, and the past has its helplessness. In the past, it seemed wrong or even absurd to say and do anything, but why did you do it at that time? Because at that time, there is the inevitability to do at that time - inevitable subjective factors and inevitable objective factors. The inevitable subjective factors include knowledge, ability, character, demand, emotion, etc; The inevitable objective factors include the natural conditions, social conditions and various uncontrollable external pressure factors at that time. Therefore, we should be tolerant of our past and our past. Only by forgiving ourselves in the past can we forget the unhappiness and happiness of the past. [unrestrained patience is weakness, and unrestrained tolerance is connivance] as the saying goes: small intolerance leads to great plans. It warns people not to be impulsive, to be calm, thoughtful and rational. If you are emotional and willful, you often bring yourself great trouble and loss because you can't "tolerate small". But patience is not unlimited, but has limits and principles: if it is not good for the small, and it is not good for the future, it cannot be tolerated. If you endure indefinitely without principle, you are weak. Similarly, although tolerance is very beneficial and necessary, it is also principled and limited: people who do not recognize mistakes, admit mistakes, or repent must not be tolerant, otherwise it is connivance. Everyone has both advantages and disadvantages, everyone will make mistakes, and everyone has differences. Don't be hard on others or yourself. Seek common ground while reserving minor differences. Be more tolerant than demanding.
Lao Tzu says that the river and sea can be the king of hundreds of valleys, so they can be good at it. The Analects of Confucius says that bowing is thick and blaming others is thin. "Jin Shu" says: people can forgive if they are inferior. "Wenzi" has a saying: a gentleman does not blame others. Xue Xuan said: only width can accommodate people, but thickness can carry things. Bomache said: the more guilty he is, the more unwilling he is to forgive others. La Fontaine said: picky people are always dissatisfied and will never be happy. The heart of tolerance is a great virtue of people. It is necessary to have a heart of tolerance in many aspects, such as life, health care, management and employment. So why do we have it? Here are some insights and views. [when you look at the glass with a microscope, it is also pitted; when you look at the palm with a microscope, it is also a gully] the surface of any object is not absolutely flat. In people's eyes, glass is very flat. If you look at it with a microscope, it is also pitted under the microscope; In people's eyes, the palm is also flat. If you look at it with a microscope, it is also a gully under the microscope. Similarly, no one is perfect and has shortcomings and shortcomings. Even if we "wear a microscope" to look at a very good person with demanding eyes, we will find that he has many shortcomings. This is because: first, the inevitability of shortcomings. 2、 If one aspect is too excellent, it will inevitably make some aspects too lacking. 3、 Advantages and disadvantages are relative. A person's performance is an advantage from this point of view, and may be a disadvantage from that point of view. On the contrary, it is the opposite. Therefore, we should not look at people with a critical and demanding eye, but with an appreciative and tolerant eye. You should know that beauty is ugly and wise is stupid. All men are beautiful when they are good, and all men are ugly when they are short. All men are gifted, all men are stupid, all men are short. [don't be too hard on others, and you may be far inferior to others] you may have met such people. They rarely praise and appreciate others, but blindly complain and blame others for "how bad and how bad". They often say without shame and don't know heaven and earth: "who can't do it? If I do it, I will do it better than him." As the saying goes, "standing and talking does not hurt your back" refers to this kind of people. What looks easy is often not easy to do. Some interns in medical schools saw the teacher do dozens of cases of appendicitis surgery. When they were confident that "it was a piece of cake", they really made him master the knife, and even couldn't find the appendix. Because the feeling, experience and understanding of "watching" and "doing" are completely different. The person who looks at it only looks at it and doesn't do it in person, so it's easy to only see the ease of doing things, but can't see the specific difficulties in many aspects. It's easy to only see its own strengths, but can't see that it has many shortcomings (body, heart, knowledge, ability, etc.). Therefore, we should not blindly criticize and demand others. If we really let ourselves do it, we are likely to do it in a mess, far inferior to others. [forgiving others is also forgiving oneself. Demanding others is also demanding oneself] for example, between husband and wife, if the wife can understand and tolerate the "bad habits" developed by her husband for decades, the "big problems" and the "bad hobbies", then she will appear very gentle, virtuous and considerate. In this way, the husband will not only love himself more, but also "spoil" himself, that is, tolerate himself. At the same time, because you can understand and tolerate your husband, you will also make yourself feel comfortable—— Forgiving your husband is also forgiving yourself. On the contrary, if you regard your husband's habits, faults and hobbies as a thorn in the flesh, look at them in your eyes, hate them in your heart, and NAG and complain all day, as a result, you will be full of resentment, dissatisfaction and unhappiness, and you will make your husband ignore and criticize yourself—— Demanding your husband is also demanding yourself. Similarly, if friends, colleagues and other social members tolerate each other, they are also tolerating themselves. If they are demanding of each other, they are also demanding of themselves. [it's more reasonable to forgive others if you have reason, but it's unreasonable if you don't have reason] as the saying goes: forgive others if you have reason. It means that although we are reasonable and others do wrong and unjustifiable, as long as others sincerely recognize our mistakes, admit our mistakes and promise to correct them, we will give tolerance. In this way, one is to appear magnanimous: be able to tolerate others' offenses and mistakes. Second, it seems reasonable: people are not sages, who can make mistakes; If we recognize our mistakes and have the heart of repentance, we should give tolerance and understanding and give people the opportunity to correct them. Therefore, when you are reasonable, if you can forgive someone who knows your mistakes, you will appear to be more self-restraint and reasonable. On the contrary, it seems to have no stomach, no self-restraint, no emotion and reason, so it seems unreasonable. [tolerance is the best criticism and blame] my childhood was in the 1960s. At that time, a job was very valuable in a poor family. If you accidentally hit your job, you usually have to be spanked. Therefore, the child who has played the bowl is afraid in his heart and shivering in his body. In this case, smart parents will not beat their children, but say: it doesn't matter. Pay attention in the future. Because the child didn't mean it, he knew he had made a big mistake and decided to be careful in the future. If you forgive him, he will be more careful not to make mistakes because he respects you and appreciates you. At this time, if parents beat and scold their children unreasonably, it will not play a role, but also hurt their children's self-esteem, and may even make deliberate mistakes due to their children's rebellious heart. It is better for us to be tolerant of the seriousness of the mistakes we make than to be determined to correct them. There are many examples where tolerance is better than blame, so I won't say much here. [recognize the differences between people, don't be strict with others] due to different innate qualities, different acquired experiences, different growth environments, different levels of education, and many other reasons, a person's unique personality, temperament, ability, ideal, interest, hobby and other personality will inevitably be formed. This requires that when we get along with others, we should not be too serious and demanding, have a flexible attitude, have a mind of reserving differences, not judge people with our own thoughts, not demand people with our own likes and dislikes, and not impose people with our own will. Different countries and nations should do the same: only by recognizing differences, respecting differences and seeking common ground while reserving differences can we live in harmony. [admit the shortcomings of others and don't be hard on others; admit your own shortcomings and don't be hard on yourself] everyone has shortcomings. Therefore, we should not be hard on others and ourselves. We have talked a lot about the problem of not demanding others. Here we mainly talk about the problem of not demanding yourself. Be hard on others and hard on yourself. Many people are very strong. They want to compare with others and surpass others in everything, but what is the result? Many people have a "strong heart, weak life, yellow face with anger". So this is because I don't realize my shortcomings and I don't know that I am inferior to others. People's time, energy, physical strength and financial resources are limited. Only by focusing on what they are good at can they achieve themselves. Otherwise, in order to be strong and use them in their own "short board" place, it will only be "labor yourself and waste money". Of course, such people also have a sense of arrogance and contempt for others. [history has its inevitability, and the past has its helplessness] many people's unhappiness is often due to not forgetting the unhappiness of the past, regretting their mistakes in the past, thinking how stupid it was at that time, and living in the painful shadow of regretting the past. In fact, this is because you can't tolerate yourself - yourself in the past. History has its inevitability, and the past has its helplessness. In the past, it seemed wrong or even absurd to say and do anything, but why did you do it at that time? Because at that time, there is the inevitability to do at that time - inevitable subjective factors and inevitable objective factors. The inevitable subjective factors include knowledge, ability, character, demand, emotion, etc; The inevitable objective factors include the natural conditions, social conditions and various uncontrollable external pressure factors at that time. Therefore, we should be tolerant of our past and our past. Only by forgiving ourselves in the past can we forget the unhappiness and happiness of the past. [unrestrained patience is weakness, and unrestrained tolerance is connivance] as the saying goes: small intolerance leads to great plans. It warns people not to be impulsive, to be calm, thoughtful and rational. If you are emotional and willful, you often bring yourself great trouble and loss because you can't "tolerate small". But patience is not unlimited, but has limits and principles: if it is not good for the small, and it is not good for the future, it cannot be tolerated. If you endure indefinitely without principle, you are weak. Similarly, although tolerance is very beneficial and necessary, it is also principled and limited: people who do not recognize mistakes, admit mistakes, or repent must not be tolerant, otherwise it is connivance. Everyone has both advantages and disadvantages, everyone will make mistakes, and everyone has differences. Don't be hard on others or yourself. Seek common ground while reserving minor differences. Be more tolerant than demanding.
Share Dialog
Share Dialog
Subscribe to 拖拉机
Subscribe to 拖拉机
<100 subscribers
<100 subscribers
No activity yet