Daily writing prompt

What skills or lessons have you learned recently?

Currently I feel many of my skills put to the test as I continually work on a project that has taken me months to get to the point I am at now.

It hasn’t been from a lack of trying. I’ve added paint, shades and highlights only to end up almost at the same spot I was when I started. Or sometimes worse. So if it does get worse, what do I do? Basically I have to let the paint dry with the mistake currently in front of me. There for me to either ignore, shame myself with, or try to figure out where I went wrong and how can I fix this.

Most of the work I’ve been doing lately has been almost all freehand. I’ve learned from several mistakes I’ve made with airbrush to the point where the service I offer is custom freehand airbrush service done same or next day on clothing after the material has been brought to me.

Airbrush art on a canvas can also be done freehand. However, there is a difference on how the paint looks on fabric and how it looks on stretched canvas material. Therefore, what appears sharp on clothing appears rough and incomplete on a canvas. In order to get a sharper look, the freestyle airbrush would be step one. This is where I consider myself laying out the foundation, placement of everything overall while trying to image how it will look further in the project. The next phase requires masking certain parts as I work on the background first, then the foreground or centerpiece. If I do this step backwards, I risk of having the background literally shadow the main object with mists of overspray. If done properly, the background receives the shadowy effect making it truly part of the background giving it a more third dimensional effect.

The current project I am continually working on is for a client who desires to gift a special portrait airbrushed canvas of her mother and her aunt, who are twins. Each canvas is planned out to be individually made for each with the one thing they have in common, a photo of the two of them when they were kids on the upper right corner. When I was first trying to put together the image of the canvas, I immediately triggered how much of a challenge it is for me to complete one portrait of one person on one canvas and have it be satisfactory to the client. And I responded by stating that the client wants me to do multiple faces per canvas and produce two of them. I have allowed this defeat mindset to overpower me even before I got started, which is still playing a small role today. When I took the time to understand the story behind the vision per canvas, it totally makes sense why there are multiple faces. One is the twins when they were very young children and the other image is of the two of them as adults. So that alone makes it four faces on one canvas multiplied by two.

Working on the twins canvases, I feel I have come to learn a little bit about their personality and what they would most likely like or dislike about the artwork being portraits of them. To anyone who does not know who the figures on the canvas are, they could assume the canvases are now complete and I could ride along with the assumption that they are complete. However, there are details in each that adds depth, character and definition that currently aren’t shaped right that I notice and usually the client notices also. How would they not? To a person from an outside perspective the overall picture looks great. But if it is a representation of you, then you are more aware of your nose, your eyes, lips and overall shape of your face. And those are the details that I personally feel make or break a portrait canvas to its intended receiver while everyone else might see a perfect picture. Currently I am at the stage of the canvas. The details, the small details that make a big difference. The canvases were reviewed a critiqued by one of the sisters in an earlier stage of the art, which was helpful. I was able to see that she had also picked up on the same details that I had observed also. This also added pressure, or at least I allowed it to.

The dilemma that I allow my mind to perceive is that the faces are so small on the canvas, that with one slight press of the trigger on the airbrush to release paint could release enough to wipe out the whole mouth, nose, fingers or whatever detail I am working on. So I have been going back and forth trying to get the details to look right, sometimes adding paint freehand, and sometimes making stencils and masks to cover the rest of the art so I can add just the right amount where it needs to go. This is a time consuming process but to get the right effect, it is necessary per either color or detail that I am focusing on. I’ve put enough effort on the background and it looks great. Now I am on the details. The small details. The very small details that make a big impact in a small area that could be nearly overcorrected with a small amount of paint being pushed out of the tool by compressed air. I need to focus on the details that have been pointed out to me specifically. I feel it is important to be sure to address those issues. I’m at a point where the overall looks good and if I mess up now, it could set me back quite a few steps. I’m at a stage where I have to wonder what other techniques have I learned. What other tools have I used or can use? What is the effect a paintbrush or marker will leave distinguishable from the airbrush? Will it be distinguishable or is it all in my head because I know I used a different tool that might have scarred the canvas a different way that the stroke of air paint splatting against its texture?

I missed my first deadline, which was their birthday and settled for before Christmas. I have to finish it soon. I keep repeating in my head what I’ve repeated on here over and over again. I need to work on the details. I need to focus on the details that she desired me to pay close attention to. I am running out of time. I can make mistakes that will set me back again. I am so close to finishing. How much of a learning curve would it take to try to use paintbrush on certain parts? How much damage can I do with a marker to get those tiny lines that the airbrush freehand just can’t get right?

I’ve been inside of my head feeling self doubt, pressure and desire to be done already. But the question will remain “am I happy with the finished product I delivered?” This is a very special client to me. Every client that I have the pleasure to create airbrush art for is special to me, and I do my best to provide the best service I can give with the very little time that I have to learn about the client and give them a final product that either meets or exceeds their expectation. This client is special and I will have to see her again multiple times. I would like to know that she is happy, the twins are happy and I am happy with the final product. so

So what have I learned recently?

I learned more and more in the last couple of years how much better I flow with my art when I get out of my way and co-create with the universe on a piece of art. I learned the same applies in life. I learned the more I allow my head to dominate I overthink, I make mistakes, I work less efficiently and I end up discontent. When I play music, get lost in the moment, let my hands loose and flow naturally with part of an image I created mentally and part of the work done without thinking too much just letting it happen. But there are times when there is a need for much more thinking, planning, cutting and masking that needs to be done. Premeditating the actions so the accuracy is higher than just going with the flow. I love the play on words because when I am in the zone, I am totally going with the flow. The air flow that is. I wrote how that plays out in my head on this post, How Do We Know Who’s Controlling the Airbrush Gun?, in August 2022.

Here I am today being put to the test on many skills and lessons I have learned on these canvases. Patience, perceptions, illusions, airbrush skills, stencils skills, missing deadlines and the need to meet the next deadline. Fine tuning, and sometimes meditating and visualizing in my head how I desire the outcome and when I wake up taking the action to create it. Customer satisfaction. Staying committed even though it might be much easier to quit. I am still being tested today and I have a few details to tend to before I can complete my challenge and challenges and deliver two canvases before the sort of promised date, because before Christmas can be any day in December really. I am still working on reversing the trigger of how much of a challenge it is for me to complete one portrait of one person on one canvas. Instead enjoy this current challenge and understand that once the canvases are turning in, there is no asking for them back to try to fix something that bothered me when I did have them. It is best for me to give it my best and do my best to let go at the same time and co-create with the universe as I almost fully complete this project.

I hardly watch Anime but I have been recently. It is part of my learning for this project. In the show the little girl was telling the men that in order to defeat the demigod monsters they had to use force that is strong weak, not strong strong. Most of us have been programmed that the only way to succeed is to work harder and harder. We have to physically do something to feel we are doing something. It is a challenge, even for me to always believe that our believes alone can have more profound effects that we can imagine. We need both strong and weak, yin and yang, shadows and highlights, or good and bad to have a balance that is powerful enough to accomplish anything, even defeating self-doubt. I am still working on mastering these skills. These canvases are showing me just that and I am grateful for the opportunity to learn and grow mentally and spiritually.

#AlexAirbrushLuna