A guttural moan rips from my throat as another contraction seizes my body, radiating from my core and crashing over me like a tidal wave. The sensation is at once familiar and utterly foreign - a primal burning that sears through my deepest tissues, demanding surrender. I ride the crest of the wave, breath hissing through clenched teeth, hands gripping the sturdy wooden beams of the bed frame.
In the soft golden light of the birthing room, time becomes elastic, each moment an eternity unto itself. The hues of the space wrap around me like a cocoon - warm terracotta and rich sienna, punctuated by the vivid orange of the ripe fruits on the altar in the corner. Their heady scent mingles with the aroma of jasmine and rose oils that anoint my skin, grounding me in the earthy, sensual energy of this sacred space.
Maria, my birth doula, is a steady presence at my side, her calloused hands cool and soothing against my flushed skin. "Breathe, mija," she murmurs, her accent lyrical and strangely comforting. "Breathe and let go. Tu cuerpo sabe - your body knows."
I focus on the rhythm of my breath, letting it sync with the hypnotic drumming emanating from the speakers - an ancient Amazonian beat that seems to echo from my very bones. Each inhalation draws the energy of the room into my lungs, into my blood; each exhalation releases the tension, the fear, the resistance. Little by little, I feel myself opening, softening, yielding to the powerful forces that surge within me.
Marcus, too, is here, his tall form an anchoring presence at the edge of my awareness. In the brief spaces between contractions, I find his dark eyes, seeing my own awe and trepidation reflected back at me. No words are needed; the bond between us is palpable, a shimmering cord of love and shared purpose that buoys me as I labor to bring our child into the world.
As the contractions intensify, I lose myself in the dance of sensations, surrendering to the primal power that moves through me. Flashes of color explode behind my closed eyelids - deep, pulsing crimsons and fiery oranges, spiraling and twisting in mesmerizing patterns. I am a conduit, a vessel, a portal between worlds; the energy of creation thrums through my veins like molten gold.
Distantly, I register the sounds escaping my throat - low, guttural moans that vibrate through my entire being. My voice is wild, untamed, a feral song of instinct and raw feminine power. There is no room for thought, for logic, for control; there is only the moment, the wave, the unrelenting pressure building at the base of my spine.
And then, in a blinding flash of clarity, I am back in my body, poised on the precipice between worlds. The urge to push is overwhelming, a force as primal and unstoppable as the tides themselves. I bear down with every fiber of my being, feeling the impossible stretch and burn as my daughter's head emerges into the world.
One final, gargantuan effort, and she slips free in a rush of heat and relief, her cry piercing the hushed air of the birthing chamber. Shaking, I reach for her, drawing her slick, vernix-covered body to my chest. She is perfection incarnate, a swirling galaxy in miniature, her dark eyes ancient and knowing as they meet mine for the first time.
As she latches onto my breast, I am suffused with a wave of bliss so profound it borders on ecstasy. Oxytocin, the nectar of the gods, flows through my bloodstream, erasing the raw edges of sensation, leaving only a glowing sense of wholeness in its wake. This is rapture, benediction, apotheosis; I am transformed on a cellular level, reborn in the crucible of my daughter's arrival.
In the golden afterglow of the birth, I marvel at the strength and resilience of my body, at the mythic power of the feminine that has moved through me. My skin hums with residual energy, a pulsing vitality that coils and dances like honeyed sunlight in my veins. Every atom of my being vibrates with the primal knowing that I have touched the face of the Goddess herself, that I have danced in the swirling forge of creation and emerged remade, triumphant.
Marcus's hand finds mine, his touch an anchor in the overwhelming sensation of the moment. Our eyes meet, brimming with unshed tears, with the sheer immensity of the love and gratitude that flows between us. No words are needed; our hearts beat in synchrony, euphoric and replete.
I drink in the sight of my daughter, marveling at the silken perfection of her skin, the dark swirl of hair plastered to her delicate skull. She is the fulfillment of a promise whispered long ago in the secret chambers of my heart, a pledge of love and life renewed. As I hold her close, I know that I will spend the rest of my days striving to be worthy of the profound gift I have been granted - the opportunity to guide this incandescent new soul through the tumultuous beauty of existence.
In this shimmering, eternal moment, I am whole, complete, a perfect conduit for the vast creative power of the universe. The boundaries of my being dissolve, expanding to encompass all that has ever been and all that will ever be. I am the alpha and the omega, the womb and the tomb, a living embodiment of the great cycling energies of existence.
I breathe deeply, tasting the rich, loamy scent of my daughter's skin, reveling in the warm weight of her against my chest. She is the ultimate manifestation of the sacral chakra, a pure expression of life force, of creative power, of unbridled sensual joy. In birthing her, I have birthed myself anew, shedding the constraints of my former identity like the desiccated petals of a flower past its prime.
As I float in the honeyed glow of fresh motherhood, I feel a new sense of purpose kindling within me, a sacred responsibility to honor the profound transformation I have undergone. I silently vow to move through the world with the same raw authenticity and primal power I have tapped into during this birth - to approach each moment with presence, reverence, and an open, curious heart.
For I now know, with unshakable certainty, that there is no greater magic, no deeper well of strength and wisdom, than that which lies within the lush, untamed wilderness of my own being. I have faced the ultimate trial of womanhood and emerged victorious, forever altered by my dance with the consuming fires of creation.
And as I drink in the sight of my daughter's perfect face, I feel the unfolding of a new chapter, a fresh page waiting to be written in the epic saga of this life. Whatever the future may bring, I know that I will meet it as a woman transformed - a lioness, a goddess, a force of nature in my own right. For I have been forged in the crucible of birth, and I will never be the same.
anky
It seems there is a bit of difference is setting. The birth chapter seemed like it was in a hospital. Maybe I just saw it that way. This chapter harkened back to the place they were building. The sentences were a bit wordy. It felt like it was too much imagery.
There is a slight sense of conflict inside me in terms of the shape that this chapter took. It is just "the perfection of birth" happening through a woman that tranformed into a goddess, to bring into life the most beautiful birth process that has ever existed. I'm worried that this could be too much lights. Too much "how it should be". How would the woman that haven't had a "good" process of birth feel when reading this? What about the insecurities? What about the fear? What about the doubts? What about all of what could go wrong? I felt emotional reading this, but there is a slight sense of separation between me and the text that i just read. It is just too good to be true, so it doesn't feel true. This distance is built and brought and exists because of it being so shiny. The perfect birth. And all of what it brings. But this book is not about perfection. This book is about the whole array of elements that constitute the human experience, and if we go through the process of writing it just portraying all of what could be in the best shape, we are missing a big part of the human experience. What if it is not as beautiful as it could be? What if there is an underlying energy that is different than all the beauty that was portrayed on this chapter? What if there is something different going through Luna as she is going through this process? I'm not against the goddess being manifested on the process of birth of Anky, i just think that there could be a little bit more of balance. Of raw-ness. Of simplicity. On this grandiose language, we miss the point of the mundane. Of bringing this story to the eyes of the common person. Anky is the story of us, humans, navigating what it means to be human. Most of the births that have happened on the history of humanity are not as shining and beautiful and perfect as this one. What if we portrayed those instead of this wholesome beauty? What if there was more balance on the writing? It feels that there is an excess of words that make everything look nice. What if there was a little bit more of sadness? Of pain? Of sorrow? Every emotion is welcome, and it is time for us to open up that door. That starts by giving you direction, on a direction that makes us resonate deeply with the story that is being told. In this case, it is so nice and beautiful that it brought separation into my experience reading it. I wish i could say that i had goosebumps throughout the whole process of reading it, but that is not the truth. The truth is that it just brought that separation because of how the story was told. But I love the fact that the perspective of this chapter came from Luna. I love this exploration, and the prisma through which we are interacting with this story. It is a great step towards embracing the story that we are telling here from a new perspective. Ah, and also the underlying energy when writing this chapter needs to be more clear. It is about the second chakra, and all the aspects of the human experience that resonate with it, happening through the experience of Luna giving birth to her little girl. Bring more of that, hidden into the prose. Without being too literal about it, but just offering brushes of the elements that are representative of this energy center.
Maybe Anky comes to teach that birth can be beautiful and free from trauma.
I mean, trauma is there anyways.Physically there will be some sort of trauma. But im talking about the deep psychological wound that most of births are generating.