The biggest problem is lack of action, and thinking deeply. I was trying to make it all happen really quickly, instead of thinking through the situation clearly and aligning myself to what I believe in a considered way.

I have seen lots of good ideas and thought thats a good idea I should do that, but didn't. part of it is lazyness. Part of it is other areas of my life being bad and depressing. things with work and my relationship where bad. I let them get to a terrible place. they were not a good fit but i tolerated them. there where good parts so i was like well it's okay for now because it has these good parts.

but those good parts kind sucked. and the rest really sucked. i was just like well this is okay for now so I will continue to do this. the conviction was that i felt i could fix it or manage the situation. but I didn't appreciate how negatively it was affecting me.

I haven't had enough appreciation for how i'm not immune to negative influence, and in fact in some instances I accepted the influence as good. So i really had not learned that or come to that understanding.

in truth i was seeking to be completely influenced. i was desperate to be influenced. i was whilling to accept anything from anywhere. i was kinda an information hoe. just like through as much information at me as possible and the good stuff will stick. I think it can be turned into a good thing, but now i have to swing the pendulum in the other direction.

it's time to see what i can do, it's kinda terrible because i went in so many directions that i have kinda nothing built in my mind. will use this to my advantage. that kinda is my superpower.

but i need to find someone who compliments be really well.

I need someone who is a technical execution machine, has tried to build some stuff but the ideas where not super great. wants to found something, doesn't want to get jerked around, committed. organized. wants to build something real, ready, clear emotions, clear life, clear heart. independant, but values the advantages on interconnectedness. has experience using all the chains and protocols. has a fire burning, its experience in navigating euphoria and depression. feels light, open, honest, considerate, excited for every challenge because it's a learning experience. knows how to take damage, knows how to win, and has an appreciation for the looseness of high quality execution.

The biggest problem is lack of action, and thinking deeply. I was trying to make it all happen really quickly, instead of thinking through the situation clearly and aligning myself to what I believe in a considered way.

I have seen lots of good ideas and thought thats a good idea I should do that, but didn't. part of it is lazyness. Part of it is other areas of my life being bad and depressing. things with work and my relationship where bad. I let them get to a terrible place. they were not a good fit but i tolerated them. there where good parts so i was like well it's okay for now because it has these good parts.

but those good parts kind sucked. and the rest really sucked. i was just like well this is okay for now so I will continue to do this. the conviction was that i felt i could fix it or manage the situation. but I didn't appreciate how negatively it was affecting me.

I haven't had enough appreciation for how i'm not immune to negative influence, and in fact in some instances I accepted the influence as good. So i really had not learned that or come to that understanding.

in truth i was seeking to be completely influenced. i was desperate to be influenced. i was whilling to accept anything from anywhere. i was kinda an information hoe. just like through as much information at me as possible and the good stuff will stick. I think it can be turned into a good thing, but now i have to swing the pendulum in the other direction.

it's time to see what i can do, it's kinda terrible because i went in so many directions that i have kinda nothing built in my mind. will use this to my advantage. that kinda is my superpower.

but i need to find someone who compliments be really well.

I need someone who is a technical execution machine, has tried to build some stuff but the ideas where not super great. wants to found something, doesn't want to get jerked around, committed. organized. wants to build something real, ready, clear emotions, clear life, clear heart. independant, but values the advantages on interconnectedness. has experience using all the chains and protocols. has a fire burning, its experience in navigating euphoria and depression. feels light, open, honest, considerate, excited for every challenge because it's a learning experience. knows how to take damage, knows how to win, and has an appreciation for the looseness of high quality execution.