Okay to some extent i feel i have been reenforcing all the things that aren't working by focusing on them.

I feel completely at peace with things with amr, I have no doubt as to the outcome of our interaction tomorrow. I understand. She does not respect or trust me. To some extent I let her treat me that way and to another extent.

Explaining to her or trying to convince her of anything is not worth it. She simply does not want to have that type of relationship. She continues to gaslight me. I genuinely think she might be a narcissist. but doesn't matter.

I don't want to be like her, I don't want my daughter to be like her.

I don't think there is anything wrong with living the life she wants to live. It's just not like the one I want. That plus the way she treats me.

My confidence is continually eroded by her. She is threatened by me, she wants to control me. She wants to dominate me. It was so ugly the way she spoke to me. Like genuinely ugly.

It wasn't even surprising that she spoke to me that way. I'm so disappointed in myself.

I'm not going to try to convince her of anything. I'm going to thank her for a wonderful relationship, we are going to end things and I'm going to communicate that I do not want to be friends.

I honestly can't wait. What a relief it's going to be to not have to manage the negativity I get from her in basically every interaction. I truly don't understand how someone could be so negative.

I have a hard time coming with positively and excitement, but I'm not coming with a ton a negativity in every time we talk.

Even if I was it would be over. There is no path forward. I need to focus on the future and she has little to no interest in figuring out a path forward. I don't want to talk about this ever again. I can't wait untill this is a faint memory.

Okay what about mic. Her emotional state has made massive improvements, she listens to me, it's nice to spend time with her. sleeping is a struggle. but the capability is basically a nonstarter.

I wouldn't feel good about getting married to her. Why - she is just kinda off to me. not truly but she is just a bit off. Our view of the world is just too different. I wouldn't feel great about introducing her to my family, I don't want to show her off. Why - i guess it's looks a bit but also she is too young and then i don't think she would ever be able to move to the US. it would be way to difficult for her.

So what should I do about this?

Put no effort in and only spend time on the weekday. Couple hours that's it.

Is that bad, i feel bad about it. I feel like i might be using her. but the time with her is sooo fucking good. it's literally the best I've had. I don't want to give it up.

i guess if I keep picking her over work and focusing then that's who I am. I feel like it communicating to myself that I don't have self control. is that more important that everything else?

no

So i need to end things. or deeply limit what time i spend with her.

Part of me thinks it could work between us. If she keeps improving, the last few times of seeing her have been really nice. She is also busy and has things she is doing that she likes to do. So that's really great. She just doesn't cook or do anything like that. just wants to be a girlfriend.

I think I will just let it be. I'm looking for something that's a better fit and my work is priority.

but work is not her fault and I can't count that against her. Okay let's just try to let this be. if it goes wrong it goes wrong. it is what it is. I can not have women be what I spend all my time on, I will not make any progress. I want to focus on other things.

It was been fun to explore this side of myself, I didn't know it existed. I'm cool with it but it's extra to me at this point. If things happen they happen, but I'm not going to look back on my life and think. I wish this happened or that happened.

I guess the problem is I don't have a women i think is stunning, with good sex chemistry, and values. I want that and I should reject anything that isn't that.

Family, work, then enjoyment.

Family is good. work is not. so very clear spot.

my view of the world, what I want, who i am, what my value is, what's going on in the world, what's going on with me. what are the problems in the market, what are the problems in the world, how do i organize myself to them. What are people doing, how are they positioned, what is the way to integrate all this technology, no what is the experience that will best serve the world. What do we want to incentivize.

Okay let's go. Show yourself who you are, don't be afraid to look in the mirror and see the problem clearly.

The right things will happen.

Okay to some extent i feel i have been reenforcing all the things that aren't working by focusing on them.

I feel completely at peace with things with amr, I have no doubt as to the outcome of our interaction tomorrow. I understand. She does not respect or trust me. To some extent I let her treat me that way and to another extent.

Explaining to her or trying to convince her of anything is not worth it. She simply does not want to have that type of relationship. She continues to gaslight me. I genuinely think she might be a narcissist. but doesn't matter.

I don't want to be like her, I don't want my daughter to be like her.

I don't think there is anything wrong with living the life she wants to live. It's just not like the one I want. That plus the way she treats me.

My confidence is continually eroded by her. She is threatened by me, she wants to control me. She wants to dominate me. It was so ugly the way she spoke to me. Like genuinely ugly.

It wasn't even surprising that she spoke to me that way. I'm so disappointed in myself.

I'm not going to try to convince her of anything. I'm going to thank her for a wonderful relationship, we are going to end things and I'm going to communicate that I do not want to be friends.

I honestly can't wait. What a relief it's going to be to not have to manage the negativity I get from her in basically every interaction. I truly don't understand how someone could be so negative.

I have a hard time coming with positively and excitement, but I'm not coming with a ton a negativity in every time we talk.

Even if I was it would be over. There is no path forward. I need to focus on the future and she has little to no interest in figuring out a path forward. I don't want to talk about this ever again. I can't wait untill this is a faint memory.

Okay what about mic. Her emotional state has made massive improvements, she listens to me, it's nice to spend time with her. sleeping is a struggle. but the capability is basically a nonstarter.

I wouldn't feel good about getting married to her. Why - she is just kinda off to me. not truly but she is just a bit off. Our view of the world is just too different. I wouldn't feel great about introducing her to my family, I don't want to show her off. Why - i guess it's looks a bit but also she is too young and then i don't think she would ever be able to move to the US. it would be way to difficult for her.

So what should I do about this?

Put no effort in and only spend time on the weekday. Couple hours that's it.

Is that bad, i feel bad about it. I feel like i might be using her. but the time with her is sooo fucking good. it's literally the best I've had. I don't want to give it up.

i guess if I keep picking her over work and focusing then that's who I am. I feel like it communicating to myself that I don't have self control. is that more important that everything else?

no

So i need to end things. or deeply limit what time i spend with her.

Part of me thinks it could work between us. If she keeps improving, the last few times of seeing her have been really nice. She is also busy and has things she is doing that she likes to do. So that's really great. She just doesn't cook or do anything like that. just wants to be a girlfriend.

I think I will just let it be. I'm looking for something that's a better fit and my work is priority.

but work is not her fault and I can't count that against her. Okay let's just try to let this be. if it goes wrong it goes wrong. it is what it is. I can not have women be what I spend all my time on, I will not make any progress. I want to focus on other things.

It was been fun to explore this side of myself, I didn't know it existed. I'm cool with it but it's extra to me at this point. If things happen they happen, but I'm not going to look back on my life and think. I wish this happened or that happened.

I guess the problem is I don't have a women i think is stunning, with good sex chemistry, and values. I want that and I should reject anything that isn't that.

Family, work, then enjoyment.

Family is good. work is not. so very clear spot.

my view of the world, what I want, who i am, what my value is, what's going on in the world, what's going on with me. what are the problems in the market, what are the problems in the world, how do i organize myself to them. What are people doing, how are they positioned, what is the way to integrate all this technology, no what is the experience that will best serve the world. What do we want to incentivize.

Okay let's go. Show yourself who you are, don't be afraid to look in the mirror and see the problem clearly.

The right things will happen.