We’ve spotted aliens, some countries are at war, everything seems to be in chaos. Things that seemed only true in movies have somehow come to reality. When life is unpredictable & seems none manageable one practice I keep near and dear to myself is knowing what is in my control and what is not.
’The Control Locus’ is one of the founding principles of Stoicism. Flip out a page in any book on stoicism, you will find them talking about how important it is to figure out what’s really in your control.
I often find myself feeling guilty about not being able to help, fix, find solutions to people & problems. Asking myself ‘is this is in my control’ if yes ‘what can I do about it’ helps me fight the insecurity & guilt. Humans are born & go through many stimuli growing up. We self-develop some tactics to fight our fears, perspective to look at problems, approach to things in general. We’re all very Impulsive by nature, apparently impulses & the locus of control don’t go well together.
Controlling your impulses can be compared to a ship setting sail, heading to a particular direction with a goal in mind. Whereas, not controlling your impulses is setting sail without a map or a sense of direction & letting fate decide where you’re heading. Chances are you will get nowhere. The stoics emphasized on how important it is to be in charge of your emotions and impulses. Controlling impulses is not only about keeping yourself from doing certain stuff but it also might look like facing your fears, stepping out of your comfort zone & doing something you never thought you’d do.
The building blocks of controlling impulses are habits & stoics emphasized on how important it is to have habits, to have a structure to your routine which will prevent you from losing your way. Every legend has had habits nobody has never become successful without putting in the work (except influencers on reels/tiktok).
When everything falls apart in life, you can only fall back to your habit.
Look at athletes who clutch in seemingly impossible instances, who are as calm as a cucumber & manage achieve greatness. They are not born with it, They’ve only realized what’s in their control & how they can make the most out of it.
Penalty shoot-outs in football is single-handedly the most nerve wrecking set of moments. If you look closely the best player usually takes the first shot at target & the leader figure of the team takes the last one, not because they can handle the responsibility but because they can differentiate the task at hand with the expectations. If you think about one single penalty the chances of goalkeeper saving it is only 30%. A person who can control their impulses knows how to detach themselves from the outcome and solely focus on the act. No matter, you might miss and fail a couple of times but It would be something within your locus of control.
Here are few things I (try to) do daily to learn to control my impulses
Meditate - the goal is to become thoughtless
Cold Water Shower - goal is to instill discomfort with 30 secs intervals.
Doing things that are slightly out of my comfort zone
I thought I’d solve a problem when really I was creating new ones by taking the path of least resistance
I’ve recently come to understand the importance of controlling impulses. Its a long way to go & you can follow me along my journey through this newsletter.
This is an ever so updating journal of my thoughts and my journey, you can follow, retweet, re-read! - you can also buy me a coffee @ https://www.buymeacoffee.com/314yush
