You listen to your parents so much, what happens in the end?

I still feel that that "must do dream" is too precious, and if you find something you really want to do, don't give it up so early.

I read an article a few days ago, probably saying that many young people are troubled by their parents all the year round.

This kind of trouble is sometimes soft and sometimes hard. The soft one probably refers to the mental pressure of parents saying "Why don't you get married" and "look at other people's children" all the time; "We cut off our relationship from now on", forcing you to give up your dreams for all kinds of reasons for your own good.

Just open a Douban group, and you can see a girl crying that her boyfriend is not bad, but the parents just don't agree; they want to find a job they like, but the parents are extremely obstructed and ask the child to go home and take the civil service exam.

A few days ago, there was a popular long Weibo post about a girl who found a good boyfriend. The boyfriend is a small businessman, he is not rich, but he can be considered safe. Her parents thought that business was unreliable, so they asked her to find a civil servant boyfriend. They fought for this relationship for five years, and the boys tried their best to please their elders. Still, her parents were still dissatisfied, and various threats about it eventually broke up the couple.

My cousin was also such a victim.

His parents looked upon him closely since he was a child. From childhood to adulthood, whether he was studying, choosing a major, or looking for a job, he had to get involved.

He liked to play games since he was a child. After graduation, he worked as a programmer in a large online game company in Guangzhou. Unfortunately, his parents felt that the job was too shameless and had to find a way to get their son to work in a public institution.

Of course, my cousin couldn't agree. His mother went to the company every day to make trouble, committing suicide today, and having a heart attack tomorrow. In the end, he had to quit his favorite job, and watched his mother spend more than 100,000 yuan to clear the relationship and went to a family. Business units lead idle lives.

In the past few years, friends who used to enter the industry with my cousin have all become game planners, living a middle-class life with an annual salary of more than 500,000 yuan, a car and a house. I think it's not just the success of his old friend's career and the fact that he's a railway clerk; more importantly, he's been forced to give up the things he loves the most in his life and the people who push it all by himself. - But it is the parents.

I think, not only the girls on Douban and Weibo, my cousin, but also many people are faced with the confusion of "listen to your parents, or listen to yourself". As for me, I have had the same struggle.

My family is a traditional family. My parents hope that I can go back home, try not to go out to work, just marry a son in the circle of friends, go shopping and eat every day. When I first started writing, the first question my family asked was, "Who would watch, and why are you wasting your time on this kind of thing?" It's a contradictory mood, on the one hand, parents want you to give up Intention to live a stable life; one side is the inner calling.

Family has always been a very important part of our life. When we want to challenge something, we first hope for the support of our family. What we need is not endless suggestions and obstructions, but someone who says to you: "It's okay, just try it, there's nothing to lose." As long as people are not hard-hearted, they will be able to oppress and criticize their family members. feel very depressed.

I struggled for a while, but I finally figured out that the relationship between parents and children is an emotion, and like all emotions, one cannot require one party to sacrifice happiness to satisfy the other, even if you put on "filial piety" Flag caters to parents to give up their ego, and eventually the relationship will be full of resentment.

Obedience is even more of a false proposition. Not to mention that the vast majority of parents don’t know anything about the fields they are about to interfere in. For example, parents who are unknown in their careers go to interfere with their children’s employment issues, and elders who are unhappily married interfere with the younger generation’s mate selection. If you listen to these people, it is the greatest disrespect in life.

Seriously, would you really listen to a baker teach you how to repair an air conditioner?

There are only two ways to break free from parental control.

The first method is to leave home to study and work, reshape the values ​​in a new environment, and find a group of like-minded friends; the second method is to cherish the rebellious period. I always feel that the rebellious period is a great thing, it allows future generations Get as far away from the influence of the previous generation as possible.

In the end, I was able to hold on to my heart not just because I was strong, courageous, etc., but because I liked something to the point where I wanted to continue doing it without giving me money; Support, like-minded friends will always be the strongest spiritual backing. You will quarrel, fall out, and even get into a cold war with your parents, and love them and make the relationship stiff, but there are some things you don't do now and really never will. Even at the risk of being slapped in the face by the whole world, I still want to give it a try.

When we make a choice, we can still listen to what our parents have to say, but the final decision should belong to us.

There is a big bug in letting your parents control your life, that is, they choose for you, but they don't help you bear the consequences. For example, you marry a boy they like, but they don't need to feel that boring marriage and a bad life. It is themselves who suffer the most. They have arranged a job that you don't like, and it's not them who face the weird boss every day, but you. Parents are very important people, you can follow their will in the innocuous little things, but in the important things, in the things related to the happiness of life - please ask your heart in the dead of night.