Until very recently it was a visceral belief of mine that desperation was ugly and unwelcome; that no good would ever come from feeling it; that it was to be shunned at the mere mention - conjuring up images of dishevelled strangers asking for change outside the bus station. Gratefully though (hindsight is a useful tool every now and again) a close call with the darkest sides of reality (or what Jordan Peterson loves to call malevolence) forced changes and got me re-evaluating what these two, seemingly non-identical twins (inspire and despire, hehe) actually are; in the nitty gritty darkness of night as well as in the bright light of day.

Desperation and inspiration, I came to slowly - but not reluctantly - appreciate, are two sides of the same coin, or two peas in the same pod, if you like that analogy better; and are vital commodities or companions - if you like - to get a better life direction going. As long as one of them gets you, you'll be on the straight path to wherever you decide is important enough to be the pinnacle of your journey.

Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama reportedly said, "When things are desperate, there is no need to pretend that everything is beautiful." That's the first realisation, when I was desperate, I was inspired enough to take stock of what it was that put me in that desperate quandary. A truly embarrassing yet nonetheless life-altering fact - of almost double digits magnitude on the Richter scale of Earth shattering realisations it's possible for a human being to have!

It's no joke to suddenly find yourself dazed and confused at your own stupidity, looking in the mirror, questioning everything you've ever learnt or experienced. Anyway, that's what happened to yours truly and it was brilliant (naturally, in hindsight of course). And so the questioning began in earnest. What else was I holding onto, what ideas and reasoning had I accumulated over thirty-odd years of life that was a figment of upbringing and lack of imagination and stuff that I couldn't put into words?

I realised that desperation, at its most basic level, is a realisation that all is not well, in other words it is simply Fear. Fear that there is something seriously wrong and that it's out of my control. Now, in the face of such desperation, I could choose what to do about it: (there's a radical idea), i had to re-learn that I can actually decide how to respond. Option one, I could fight external forces as there's plenty of them to blame;

*bad circumstances,

*poor weather,

*annoying kids,

*dead end job,

*heartless boss,

*picky customers,

*jealous relatives,

*rude neighbours,

*stagnant economy,

*greedy government

*Or even the cat down the road or, any other furry animal, take your pick.

This is by no means an exhaustive list and if not careful can get ridiculously out of sync with reality very very quickly. Some people take this list to the grave I'm told!

I'm reminded of the following American newspaper article with the audaciously silly headline; STATE POPULATION TO DOUBLE BY 2040; BABIES TO BLAME. So you see, I wasn't alone. If babies can be blamed for population growth nothing is safe from the blame game.

So clearly I wasn't alone. But why wasn't that feeling ok anymore? Why did I have a deep mistrust that I wasn't seeing the full picture?

Option two, just like an ostrich when faced with a threat, maybe I should continue to stick my head in the sand and hope everything is better again when I'm forced, by necessity, to reluctantly raise it up again. Remain an ignoramus to my own faults, actions and attitudes? And to the possibility that there was a better path. It's very appealing to follow the path of least resistance and just go with the flow without overcomplicating things. Why not stick with the 'normal' routine?

Through trial and error, meditation and whatever unseen forces are at work in the cosmos I found that neither blaming or ignorance - in my relatively limited experience - improved my personal circumstances and possibly/probably (delete as appropriate) made them slightly worse because now I was in denial as well as in FEAR. Doh!

[As a side note, the 6 basic fears are

1) Fear of poverty - probably the number one reason for desperation in most common folk.

2) Fear of criticism - this is why it's so hard to do something new or out of the ordinary - and why it's so nerve wracking putting these words on paper.

3) Fear of ill health - this is a fear used by the pharmaceutical industry around the world to push various nefarious agendas and dangerous chemicals. I'd love to elaborate but maybe some other time.

4) Fear of loss of love of someone - emotional blackmail.

5) Fear of old age - I personally look forward to getting older, wiser and richer! No I don't, I'm secretly bricking it, hence no sugars in my cuppa, thank you very much.

6) Fear of death - Gulp! Is life a game? Is there a heaven and hell? What's my purpose? Is the devil inspiring me to write this? All that comes into it which is just way too much for mere mortals to spend significant time on comprehending. Am I right?]

My point is that, thankfully, I discovered option three hidden in plain sight, where the EGO didn't want me to look. This got me started in a healthier direction, mentally and spiritualIy; and now a few years later, physically too.

I was shown a better way, through natural trial and error learning, when I treated mistakes as teachers and took time to analyse and dissect the errors and not run away from them. I later discovered this was the way many inspiring men and women made huge improvements to their existence; a realisation, or an epiphany, followed by a deep honest dive into the self.

By the way, this analysis of self and circumstances gets easier as I gain a broader perspective in how the world, people and things in general are connected. I can't over state how transformative this perspective thing is which I will speak about in future posts.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand, this novel approach of analysing and putting all the blame on myself was like switching the light on in a darkened room, instead of fumbling around and banging into stuff needlessly I could actually see what I was doing and more importantly where and how and why I was taking the decisions and actions that were getting me the results I was getting. It was a life changer.

I threw my blame list away and began to focus my desperation on the 'man in the mirror' (search Michael Jackson song by the same title, I just introduced it to the kids) which led to inspiration, motivation and an abundance of life that can be experienced by everyone. I'm not saying everything is wonderful but now I can choose how to react or feel about things. Just that idea alone was revolutionary and I later discovered it was ok to take control of my decisions from a place of confidence, with power, rather than feeling like I was being oppressed somehow. I can only imagine how a prisoner would feel on release after a long stretch of solitary confinement but that's how I'd describe it. Kind of like the end bit of Shawshank Redemption where he drops out of the suffocating stench of the sewer into the clean free flowing water of the river.

Desperation manifested wonders for my life that, a few years back, I never would have thought possible. The key for me was to recognise that only I can make the changes to use this powerful (and potentially paralysing) companion called desperation into meaningful and fruitful work. You can do the same. And it all starts in your mind and heart.

Muhammad Ali, the legendary three time world heavyweight champ - also known as the people's champ was brilliant at shifting desperate situations to one's of positivity and once said, "Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion." If I can conquer my EGO then what bigger challenge is there?

The other thing that I found to be immensely useful is that I don't have to change the world. Phew! What a relief! All I have to do is make myself a little better every day. Maybe start by little things like making the bed, eating a little less, taking a walk, hugging the kids more, reading everyday - or whatever needs doing that I know deep down is worthwhile. All of these activities I have control over so it's simple for me to get on with it.

Desperation turns to inspiration, voila! And inspiration is contagious, like smiling, the possibilities are endless. You just don't know who's life is going to be impacted in a profound and vital way and what the knock on effects of that will be to the rest of the world.

*Oh, so you can change the world - bonus points.

I'll end with a quote from someone who's had a profound and wonderful impact on me and countless others, although I never met him in person, when I get to heaven I hope to meet him there, along with all the other saviours of the world.

Jim Rohn said: "Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change." I found this to be true.

Decide now for yourself to have a face-off with whatever desperate thoughts are holding you back. Turn fear to excitement, sorrow to joy, lack to abundance, confusion to clarity, paralysis to positive action. No one is coming to do it for you. It's all on you, it's in your hands, the choices are yours.

Wishing you abundance, joy and success.

The ContentED Soul

Until very recently it was a visceral belief of mine that desperation was ugly and unwelcome; that no good would ever come from feeling it; that it was to be shunned at the mere mention - conjuring up images of dishevelled strangers asking for change outside the bus station. Gratefully though (hindsight is a useful tool every now and again) a close call with the darkest sides of reality (or what Jordan Peterson loves to call malevolence) forced changes and got me re-evaluating what these two, seemingly non-identical twins (inspire and despire, hehe) actually are; in the nitty gritty darkness of night as well as in the bright light of day.

Desperation and inspiration, I came to slowly - but not reluctantly - appreciate, are two sides of the same coin, or two peas in the same pod, if you like that analogy better; and are vital commodities or companions - if you like - to get a better life direction going. As long as one of them gets you, you'll be on the straight path to wherever you decide is important enough to be the pinnacle of your journey.

Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama reportedly said, "When things are desperate, there is no need to pretend that everything is beautiful." That's the first realisation, when I was desperate, I was inspired enough to take stock of what it was that put me in that desperate quandary. A truly embarrassing yet nonetheless life-altering fact - of almost double digits magnitude on the Richter scale of Earth shattering realisations it's possible for a human being to have!

It's no joke to suddenly find yourself dazed and confused at your own stupidity, looking in the mirror, questioning everything you've ever learnt or experienced. Anyway, that's what happened to yours truly and it was brilliant (naturally, in hindsight of course). And so the questioning began in earnest. What else was I holding onto, what ideas and reasoning had I accumulated over thirty-odd years of life that was a figment of upbringing and lack of imagination and stuff that I couldn't put into words?

I realised that desperation, at its most basic level, is a realisation that all is not well, in other words it is simply Fear. Fear that there is something seriously wrong and that it's out of my control. Now, in the face of such desperation, I could choose what to do about it: (there's a radical idea), i had to re-learn that I can actually decide how to respond. Option one, I could fight external forces as there's plenty of them to blame;

*bad circumstances,

*poor weather,

*annoying kids,

*dead end job,

*heartless boss,

*picky customers,

*jealous relatives,

*rude neighbours,

*stagnant economy,

*greedy government

*Or even the cat down the road or, any other furry animal, take your pick.

This is by no means an exhaustive list and if not careful can get ridiculously out of sync with reality very very quickly. Some people take this list to the grave I'm told!

I'm reminded of the following American newspaper article with the audaciously silly headline; STATE POPULATION TO DOUBLE BY 2040; BABIES TO BLAME. So you see, I wasn't alone. If babies can be blamed for population growth nothing is safe from the blame game.

So clearly I wasn't alone. But why wasn't that feeling ok anymore? Why did I have a deep mistrust that I wasn't seeing the full picture?

Option two, just like an ostrich when faced with a threat, maybe I should continue to stick my head in the sand and hope everything is better again when I'm forced, by necessity, to reluctantly raise it up again. Remain an ignoramus to my own faults, actions and attitudes? And to the possibility that there was a better path. It's very appealing to follow the path of least resistance and just go with the flow without overcomplicating things. Why not stick with the 'normal' routine?

Through trial and error, meditation and whatever unseen forces are at work in the cosmos I found that neither blaming or ignorance - in my relatively limited experience - improved my personal circumstances and possibly/probably (delete as appropriate) made them slightly worse because now I was in denial as well as in FEAR. Doh!

[As a side note, the 6 basic fears are

1) Fear of poverty - probably the number one reason for desperation in most common folk.

2) Fear of criticism - this is why it's so hard to do something new or out of the ordinary - and why it's so nerve wracking putting these words on paper.

3) Fear of ill health - this is a fear used by the pharmaceutical industry around the world to push various nefarious agendas and dangerous chemicals. I'd love to elaborate but maybe some other time.

4) Fear of loss of love of someone - emotional blackmail.

5) Fear of old age - I personally look forward to getting older, wiser and richer! No I don't, I'm secretly bricking it, hence no sugars in my cuppa, thank you very much.

6) Fear of death - Gulp! Is life a game? Is there a heaven and hell? What's my purpose? Is the devil inspiring me to write this? All that comes into it which is just way too much for mere mortals to spend significant time on comprehending. Am I right?]

My point is that, thankfully, I discovered option three hidden in plain sight, where the EGO didn't want me to look. This got me started in a healthier direction, mentally and spiritualIy; and now a few years later, physically too.

I was shown a better way, through natural trial and error learning, when I treated mistakes as teachers and took time to analyse and dissect the errors and not run away from them. I later discovered this was the way many inspiring men and women made huge improvements to their existence; a realisation, or an epiphany, followed by a deep honest dive into the self.

By the way, this analysis of self and circumstances gets easier as I gain a broader perspective in how the world, people and things in general are connected. I can't over state how transformative this perspective thing is which I will speak about in future posts.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand, this novel approach of analysing and putting all the blame on myself was like switching the light on in a darkened room, instead of fumbling around and banging into stuff needlessly I could actually see what I was doing and more importantly where and how and why I was taking the decisions and actions that were getting me the results I was getting. It was a life changer.

I threw my blame list away and began to focus my desperation on the 'man in the mirror' (search Michael Jackson song by the same title, I just introduced it to the kids) which led to inspiration, motivation and an abundance of life that can be experienced by everyone. I'm not saying everything is wonderful but now I can choose how to react or feel about things. Just that idea alone was revolutionary and I later discovered it was ok to take control of my decisions from a place of confidence, with power, rather than feeling like I was being oppressed somehow. I can only imagine how a prisoner would feel on release after a long stretch of solitary confinement but that's how I'd describe it. Kind of like the end bit of Shawshank Redemption where he drops out of the suffocating stench of the sewer into the clean free flowing water of the river.

Desperation manifested wonders for my life that, a few years back, I never would have thought possible. The key for me was to recognise that only I can make the changes to use this powerful (and potentially paralysing) companion called desperation into meaningful and fruitful work. You can do the same. And it all starts in your mind and heart.

Muhammad Ali, the legendary three time world heavyweight champ - also known as the people's champ was brilliant at shifting desperate situations to one's of positivity and once said, "Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion." If I can conquer my EGO then what bigger challenge is there?

The other thing that I found to be immensely useful is that I don't have to change the world. Phew! What a relief! All I have to do is make myself a little better every day. Maybe start by little things like making the bed, eating a little less, taking a walk, hugging the kids more, reading everyday - or whatever needs doing that I know deep down is worthwhile. All of these activities I have control over so it's simple for me to get on with it.

Desperation turns to inspiration, voila! And inspiration is contagious, like smiling, the possibilities are endless. You just don't know who's life is going to be impacted in a profound and vital way and what the knock on effects of that will be to the rest of the world.

*Oh, so you can change the world - bonus points.

I'll end with a quote from someone who's had a profound and wonderful impact on me and countless others, although I never met him in person, when I get to heaven I hope to meet him there, along with all the other saviours of the world.

Jim Rohn said: "Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change." I found this to be true.

Decide now for yourself to have a face-off with whatever desperate thoughts are holding you back. Turn fear to excitement, sorrow to joy, lack to abundance, confusion to clarity, paralysis to positive action. No one is coming to do it for you. It's all on you, it's in your hands, the choices are yours.

Wishing you abundance, joy and success.

The ContentED Soul