Sex. Sexuality. Naked bodies. Eroticism. These words still make many of us uncomfortable, and that discomfort reveals something profound about how we've been conditioned to view one of the most fundamental aspects of human existence.

For generations, sexuality has occupied a strange space in our cultural consciousness—simultaneously everywhere and nowhere, essential yet forbidden, natural yet shameful. It's the thing we must do to create life, yet the thing we're taught never to discuss openly.

Growing up in a religious household, I learned early that sexuality existed in a category all its own: something dangerous, something dirty, something reserved only for marriage and even then, shrouded in secrecy. The message was clear—don't do it, don't think about it, don't watch it, don't read about it, don't even sing about it.

But here's what that approach actually created: curiosity fueled by shame.

I remember my mother fast-forwarding through intimate scenes in movies, as if shielding our eyes would somehow make us unaware of what was happening. That very act of hiding, of treating sexuality as forbidden knowledge, made it infinitely more fascinating. I found myself home alone, rewinding VHS tapes to those censored moments, squinting through scrambled premium cable channels, wandering to certain sections of bookstores—all in search of understanding something that felt simultaneously wrong and deeply important.

The forbidden fruit always tastes sweeter precisely because it's forbidden.

I've come to believe we've approached this entirely wrong. What if, instead of shame and secrecy, we introduced sexuality as simply another dimension of human experience?

Imagine if parents spoke to their children—at age-appropriate stages—about intimacy with the same matter-of-fact tone they use to discuss other aspects of life:

"This is part of creation. This is part of being human. This happens between people who care about each other. This is how you came into the world. And like many powerful things in life, it requires understanding, respect, intention, and the right timing."

No shame. No secrecy. Just honest education about something that profoundly affects every human being in one way or another.

While reproduction is certainly one biological function of sexuality, I've come to believe it's fundamentally about something deeper: connection.

This is why I was always drawn to texts about Tantra and the Kama Sutra, even as a young person. These traditions understood something our modern culture seems to have forgotten—that sexuality has spiritual dimensions, that it's not merely a physical act but an opportunity for profound human bonding, for vulnerability, for experiencing something transcendent.

Sex at its best isn't just friction and biology. It's passion, intimacy, presence, and connection with another human being. It's choosing to be vulnerable, to be seen, to share something deeply personal. Whether within marriage or outside of it, whether for love or for closeness in a moment—the intention and consciousness we bring to it matters.

What does it cost us to keep sexuality locked in the realm of taboo?

• Young people learning about intimacy from sources that have no investment in their wellbeing

• Adults carrying shame about natural desires and curiosities

• Relationships suffering because partners never learned to communicate openly about sexual needs

• People feeling broken or abnormal for having completely human experiences

• A culture that simultaneously sexualizes everything while refusing to discuss it maturely

We've created a system where sexuality is both weaponized and forbidden, commercialized yet censored, ubiquitous yet unspeakable.

What I wish I'd learned growing up is that sexuality deserves intentionality—not shame, not secrecy, but thoughtful consideration:

• Understanding your own body and desires without guilt

• Recognizing sexuality as something to be approached consciously, not just "happening to you"

• Making choices about the right person, the right time, the right precautions

• Viewing intimacy as an opportunity for genuine connection, not just physical gratification

• Appreciating the spiritual and emotional dimensions alongside the physical

This isn't about promoting recklessness or abandoning values. It's about replacing shame with wisdom, secrecy with education, and judgment with understanding.

We don't have to choose between the extremes of sexual repression and sexual exploitation. There's a middle path—one that honors sexuality as a meaningful part of human experience while still encouraging responsibility, consent, and intention.

Perhaps it's time we stopped treating sexuality like the big bad wolf and started treating it like what it is: a powerful, complex, deeply human experience that deserves our honest attention, our mature conversation, and our thoughtful engagement.

The question isn't whether sexuality will be part of our lives and our culture—it always has been and always will be. The question is whether we'll continue to approach it with shame and secrecy, or whether we'll finally give ourselves permission to discuss it with the honesty and nuance it deserves.

What's your experience with how sexuality was discussed (or not discussed) in your upbringing? How has that shaped your understanding of intimacy today? Let's have the conversation we were never allowed to have.

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