In today's world, striving for success often feels like an exercise in futility, with every effort seemingly leading to a dead end. Here I stand, without a home or job, my few belongings confined to a worn duffel bag that miraculously hasn't been snatched by the transient acquaintances who drift into my life, only to demand more than they give.

My current state is not an exaggeration: homelessness, scant possessions, and declining health. The stress of constant uncertainty is a physical burden, with each day, sometimes each hour, bringing new chaos.

In a burst of hopeful energy, I recently spent days applying for jobs non-stop, fueled by the fantasy that my hardships would vanish, replaced by a life so wonderful it could only be described as 'TBFLE' - the best freaking life ever.

Yet, no miracles appeared. No enchanted carriage, no fairy-tale endings, just the reality of worn-out shoes and the kindness of strangers in a dingy motel, where I traded sleep for the company of quarreling guests, and lost personal items to their mistaken sense of entitlement.

I've tried crowdfunding, coffee donations, and quirky-named websites, in addition to countless job applications and assessments. Despite my efforts, luck eludes me, though my dental health seems to follow suit with my misfortune. It feels as if some cosmic joke is being played at my expense.

I have got approximately 24 minutes to go until McDonald's locks the doors and I am shuffled out into the cold dark night air of Tampa, with not even enough money on my Cash app card to buy an apple pie. The thought alone is enough to bring tears to my eyes. Yes, crying is a regular part of my life now, and it's frequent and unrelenting. Yes, I cry, and I'm not ashamed. My only hope is to survive another night.

#Struggle #Perseverance #Homelessness #Uncertainty #Grit #Survival #Hope #JobSearch #Poverty #RealityCheck #MentalHealth #LifeChallenges #Crowdfunding #HumanExperience