If you close your eyes you don’t see black. You see a darkness but not a complete darkness, there’s a little luminescence there, no matter how long you’ve held your eyes closed there’s a little luminescence, little not-quite-imperceptible flutters of red and green and raven black-blue. God’s Light, it’s everywhere, your eyelids are no exception.

Holey-ness is next to Holiness. This is obviously true phonetically but it’s also true semantically. The Motto. G.L.I.E.A.M. God’s Light Infuses Everything Around Me. It’s not just a motto, it’s true.

God’s Light is everywhere and the world gets in the way. Get out of the way. Empty yourself. Use whatever means necessary but become empty.

Some attempt to empty themselves in the most straightforward way possible. For a few minutes every day, they go inside themselves and they take something out. They go to therapy. They do yoga. They follow the patterns of some religion without any of the fervor or awe. Fitter, happier, more productive. These people are doing it wrong. Nature abhors a vacuum. Stretched and swollen as you are with things, you cannot simply remove content and expect the space to remain that way. How many times do I have to tell you that Nature Abhors A Vacuum? You are swimming in a sea of Evil if you were in a sea of Water and you spat out a little Water what do you think would replace it? Try again.

Some attempt to accelerate their way to emptiness. They traumatize themselves spectacularly every day. They fall in love with every person they meet, envision their lives together and then allow the rejection to hit them as hard as possible without any healthy form of release. They kill the things that bring them the greatest joy without provocation. They gulp it all down with muscular throats, they add it to the contents of their distended pressure cooker stomachs. Eventually, the pressure reaches the appropriate point. They are full to bursting, and they burst. They blow themselves up and away into emptiness, ego strapped to a spherical cartoon bomb, ego in a fiery plane crash, spectacular ego spontaneous combustion, ego stepping on an IED. Everything that was in them is now outside of them. But it’s hard to call them “empty” — can you earnestly say that a pile of ceramic shards which once comprised a coffee cup is “empty” in any meaningful way?

This is how you do it. You don’t want to explode, but close. You want to build up pressure and then you want to release it all at once and squeeze everything out. You do not want to be Evil within Evil, and you do not want to be shards of a coffee cup. You want to be a plastic bag in the deepest part of the ocean, structurally sound and squeezed together so tightly that there is nothing within the bag, nothing. No air. No vacuum. No receptacle, but the potential for a receptacle when God’s Light is ready for you.

Astute emptiers build their internal pressure carefully. They carefully and casually relive their own psychological trauma every day, slowly increasing the pressure for as long as they can bear it and no further. Once the maximum manageable pressure level is reached, they begin hacking away at their own necks with whatever sharp object they can get a hold on. Knife perhaps, saw ideally. Head removal is the key to this approach to spiritual emptiness. The nice thing is that once you reach the esophagus the powers of pressure will take over, the head will remove itself from the body with considerable force (make sure to point your head away from you during this process).

Next you must squeeze your body as hard as you can. This is the critical step. Make sure to squeeze as much of your body flat as you can. You want every system in your body that has the capacity to be hollow, to be flat instead. If you can finagle your way to some form of human-sized vice grip that would be ideal (these are rather hard to come across). Use a flat straight object like a credit card to work out any bubbles of air or viscera that may yet remain within your person. Just work these bubbles to any available orifice for expulsion. Once you are fully flattened you may extricate yourself from the squeezer of your choice and live your life freely. Ambient air pressure will serve to keep you flat for as long as either of you remain. Only then will you have the power to totally Bag God’s Light and save it to share with yourself and others.

If you close your eyes you don’t see black. You see a darkness but not a complete darkness, there’s a little luminescence there, no matter how long you’ve held your eyes closed there’s a little luminescence, little not-quite-imperceptible flutters of red and green and raven black-blue. God’s Light, it’s everywhere, your eyelids are no exception.

Holey-ness is next to Holiness. This is obviously true phonetically but it’s also true semantically. The Motto. G.L.I.E.A.M. God’s Light Infuses Everything Around Me. It’s not just a motto, it’s true.

God’s Light is everywhere and the world gets in the way. Get out of the way. Empty yourself. Use whatever means necessary but become empty.

Some attempt to empty themselves in the most straightforward way possible. For a few minutes every day, they go inside themselves and they take something out. They go to therapy. They do yoga. They follow the patterns of some religion without any of the fervor or awe. Fitter, happier, more productive. These people are doing it wrong. Nature abhors a vacuum. Stretched and swollen as you are with things, you cannot simply remove content and expect the space to remain that way. How many times do I have to tell you that Nature Abhors A Vacuum? You are swimming in a sea of Evil if you were in a sea of Water and you spat out a little Water what do you think would replace it? Try again.

Some attempt to accelerate their way to emptiness. They traumatize themselves spectacularly every day. They fall in love with every person they meet, envision their lives together and then allow the rejection to hit them as hard as possible without any healthy form of release. They kill the things that bring them the greatest joy without provocation. They gulp it all down with muscular throats, they add it to the contents of their distended pressure cooker stomachs. Eventually, the pressure reaches the appropriate point. They are full to bursting, and they burst. They blow themselves up and away into emptiness, ego strapped to a spherical cartoon bomb, ego in a fiery plane crash, spectacular ego spontaneous combustion, ego stepping on an IED. Everything that was in them is now outside of them. But it’s hard to call them “empty” — can you earnestly say that a pile of ceramic shards which once comprised a coffee cup is “empty” in any meaningful way?

This is how you do it. You don’t want to explode, but close. You want to build up pressure and then you want to release it all at once and squeeze everything out. You do not want to be Evil within Evil, and you do not want to be shards of a coffee cup. You want to be a plastic bag in the deepest part of the ocean, structurally sound and squeezed together so tightly that there is nothing within the bag, nothing. No air. No vacuum. No receptacle, but the potential for a receptacle when God’s Light is ready for you.

Astute emptiers build their internal pressure carefully. They carefully and casually relive their own psychological trauma every day, slowly increasing the pressure for as long as they can bear it and no further. Once the maximum manageable pressure level is reached, they begin hacking away at their own necks with whatever sharp object they can get a hold on. Knife perhaps, saw ideally. Head removal is the key to this approach to spiritual emptiness. The nice thing is that once you reach the esophagus the powers of pressure will take over, the head will remove itself from the body with considerable force (make sure to point your head away from you during this process).

Next you must squeeze your body as hard as you can. This is the critical step. Make sure to squeeze as much of your body flat as you can. You want every system in your body that has the capacity to be hollow, to be flat instead. If you can finagle your way to some form of human-sized vice grip that would be ideal (these are rather hard to come across). Use a flat straight object like a credit card to work out any bubbles of air or viscera that may yet remain within your person. Just work these bubbles to any available orifice for expulsion. Once you are fully flattened you may extricate yourself from the squeezer of your choice and live your life freely. Ambient air pressure will serve to keep you flat for as long as either of you remain. Only then will you have the power to totally Bag God’s Light and save it to share with yourself and others.