I find Alan Watts and his ramblings a bit insufferable; if only because it sounds like he enjoys hearing himself speak

I wonder

Would I feel the same if we had recordings of Jesus?

Somehow a lot (but not all) of us start out thinking someone else is going to give us the answers we're looking for

Like wisdom is a directive

Given for us to know, not consider and decide

Like if I blamed the teller for not permitting withdrawals from an account I never invested in

"Pastor, you betrayed me"

"Teacher, you betrayed me"

"Lover, you betrayed me"

Granted, many have and many do and many more do much worse

And I pray for justice and ask for mercy and mostly it feels like no one's listening (but me)

I've noticed

These things do not hurt less when the villain suffers

When justice is won I am still periodically alone and afflicted

Existence looms and holds itself over me like a cloud made of darkness and sunlight and galaxies and grass and trees and water and people and love and hate and joy and sorrow

"Teller, tell me what to do with it all"

"Sir, I am only here to facilitate"