Firstly this is not a fact driven article, its more for entertainment. Miners are now officially an endangered species. With block rewards tighter than state house security during protests, the remaining Bitcoin miners are running on prayers and transaction fees—which, at this point, cost more than a weekend in a Luxury hotel in Mombasa.
By the year 2140, as the last satoshis are squeezed out of the Bitcoin blockchain like the final drop of sauce from a mutura vendor’s bottle, miners across the world—and especially here in Kenya—are facing a crisis. The legendary days of mining 50 BTC per block are long gone, a story told by old-school crypto OGs in Nairobi’s underground Bitcoin meetups, right next to River Road.
Now, Bitcoin mining is left to a handful of government-backed entities, AI-driven corporations, and a few stubborn hustlers running on illegal KPLC connections and geothermal rigs hidden in Hell’s Gate.
Back in the 2020s, Bitcoin mining was mostly a foreign affair, with energy-hungry rigs in China and the U.S. sucking up megawatts. But by the time Kenya legalized BTC as a reserve asset in 2095 (after the 12th IMF loan and a heated debate in parliament), things changed. Miners set up shop across Olkaria, Turkana, and even Ngong Hills, leveraging Kenya’s vast geothermal and wind power.
Fast-forward to 2130: 99% of Bitcoin is mined, and the only real money left comes from transaction fees. But let’s be honest, who loves paying fees? Not the guy at Gikomba trying to flip secondhand VR headsets for some quick sats.
Governments, desperate to control the last vestiges of the hardest money known to man, have started mining BTC themselves. Picture this: the Central Bank of Kenya, running ASIC miners from the old Times Tower building, issuing Bitcoin-backed bonds called HustlerCoin—because nothing says financial innovation like a crypto buzzword.
The real enemy isn’t inflation, CBDCs, or even tax-hungry regulators—it’s AI.
As artificial intelligence devours global electricity to generate infinite TikTok clones, create deepfake politicians, and automate Kenya’s matatu graffiti industry, Bitcoin miners are left fighting for scraps of power.
In response, some have gone underground—literally. Rumors swirl of Siberian-style crypto mines in Mount Kenya caves, while Lake Turkana wind farms are supposedly powering secret Bitcoin rigs controlled by a rogue faction of hustlers and retired crypto traders.
And yet, the Bitcoin network keeps chugging along, surviving AI overlords, state-backed mining pools, and the never-ending cycle of moonboys taking loans from Fuliza to buy the dip.
By 2128, Bitcoin’s next halving is shaping up to be brutal. If BTC doesn’t stay above Ksh 20 million per coin, mass miner capitulation could happen. Some will switch to mining random memecoins, others will pivot to hustles like AI-generated forex scams, and a few will vanish like rogue MPs after election season.
But history tells us one thing: Bitcoiners never die—they just rebrand. From the days of Silk Road to Bitcoin payments at Quickmart, BTC has survived it all. If it can handle energy crises, AI overlords, and a few regulatory threats, maybe—just maybe—it really is destined for the moon.
Or at the very least, for Ksh 50 million per BTC and a Boda Boda DAO running on Lightning Network. 🚀💀 #Bitcoin2140 #TheGreatHalving #HustlerCoin
Fabian Owuor
