Arweave TX
Fabian Owuor
With Valentine's Day finally behind us, the pressure of love has officially disappeared for another year. No more overpriced flowers, awkward "soft life" Instagram posts, or pretending to like romantic dinners when all you really wanted was to chill with your bestie. Now, you can go back to just being friends, doing normal things, and reclaiming your weekends from candle-lit hostage situations. And you can now get married on the blockchain without ever having to plan a wedding?
Move over dowry negotiations, wedding committees, and nozy aunties asking, "Na watoto tutaanza lini?" The future of marriage is here, and it's running on blockchain!
Yes, love on chain and unchained, the same technology that brought us Bitcoin and made some people overnight millionaires (while others are still looking for their lost wallet keys) is now being used to seal marriages. Welcome to Marriage Unblocked, the platform that lets you propose, exchange vows, and get officially married – all on the blockchain.
Think of it like registering your love on the most unbreakable system in the world. No missing papers, no rogue pastors disappearing with your certificate, and certainly no risk of your name being replaced with someone else's at the Attorney General’s office. Once your wedding is recorded on the blockchain, it's forever – hakuna kuruka!
No Need for a Wedding Committee – Say goodbye to long WhatsApp group chats and people "contributing prayers" instead of money.
Dowry in Crypto – No more back-and-forth negotiations on how many cows and goats. Just send some Ethereum and call it a day!
Ruracio on the Blockchain – Imagine sending "5 cows" as NFTs and having your in-laws verify them on the ledger. No middlemen, no disputes, just a smart contract that confirms you've paid your dues.
No Interference from Relatives – Aunties won’t have to check if your wedding dress is too short because... no dress required. It’s all digital!
Instant & Global – Whether you're in Nairobi or Nanyuki, you can get married from the comfort of your phone. No queues, no transport costs, just love and WiFi.
No Chance of “I Was Hacked” Excuses – Once it's on the blockchain, there’s no denying it. If you said, "I do," you did. No reversing the smart contract! Immutable Love here we come, it was meant to be forever.
No Bouquet Toss – Just NFT Airdrops! – Instead of fighting over a bouquet, the blockchain can randomly airdrop a "Next to Wed" NFT to a lucky guest. No need to elbow your way to marriage! Just get MetaMask.
A Swiss couple, Sybille and Alexandra, became the first lovebirds to say "I do" on the blockchain after their country refused to recognize their marriage. Instead of waiting for laws to catch up, they took matters into their own hands and made their relationship unbreakable – literally. This love-for-all initiative was made possible by Björn Borg (not the tennis player, relax) and Superblocks.
Now, imagine this in Kenya. Instead of hiring a flashy wedding planner, couples could just sign a smart contract and be done in minutes! And for those who still believe in traditions, we could have a DowryDAO, where families vote on whether the payment is sufficient before approving the union. No more uncle saying, "Hii ng'ombe ni ndogo, ongeza moja!"
For a people who love grand weddings with mbuzi choma, DJ Afro’s commentary, and "Can we please have the cake knife?" moments, blockchain marriage might need a bit of seasoning to catch on. But for tech-savvy couples tired of the traditional wedding stress, this might just be the perfect alternative.
Well, for those who still believe the opposite gender is of some importance on this earth—first of all, congratulations on your optimism. You’re keeping the human race going. The rest of you can listen to your ancestor's weep as you wipe out their gene pool forever., after 30,000 years of struggle and fighting all sorts of things.
Anyway, are you ready to stake your love and put a hash on your wedding vows? Because once it’s on the blockchain, "till death do us part" just got a whole new meaning! You could always try a hard folk, its way legal than inheritance powder.