Subtitle: Where “Artisan” dies, and “gas fees” eat your lunch. I used to be someone. I had a beautiful life. My Laravel app ran smooth migrations, my php artisan serve obeyed without complaint, and debugging felt like solving a cozy puzzle with coffee in hand. I was living in Laraveland — where every error came with a stack trace, and your models didn’t cost real money to deploy. Then I met Solidity. Let me tell you what happens when a Laravel developer touches Solidity. It's like trying to b...