Hey, did you know one Chinese company built more ships in 2024 than America has since WWII?” That’s right — while the U.S. Navy was still debating what color to paint its next destroyer; China was casually popping out ships like they are plastic toys. And cement? China’s pouring it like it's pancake batter. They're building so fast they accidentally built a dam that is slowing the earth ever so slightly because of its weight. They have invented flying cars and upside-down trains. What’s next, elevators that go sideways? Probably. They even have one of the strangest cities where you walk into town and you are on the top floor, the rest of it is below you. Thier EVs cars are so affordable, even if the US puts a 300% tariff on their cars, they will still be cheaper than Tesla's.

Meanwhile in the U.S., someone finally looked up from their Robinhood app and said, “Wait, we’re not even playing the same game anymore.” So, the government did what governments do best — change the rules. First move? Kick the speculators out of the stock market. Sorry Chad, your Fiat - Dogecoin options aren’t building AI-powered factories. Enter the blue-collar renaissance: steel-toed boots, machine grease, and factory floors humming with robots named “Clippy 2.0” asking, “Would you like help with that weld?”

Europe, ever the dramatic aunt at the geopolitical dinner table, is dealing with its own Netflix-worthy plot. You’ve got people getting arrested for praying (in their head), Twitter moms getting two years for a post that "hurt" someone? and let’s not even talk about the French — they’re always one croissant away from revolution. The UK? Imagine if Downton Abbey became Black Mirror — that’s the vibe.

But here’s the kicker: to compete with China, the U.S. has to devalue the dollar. Yes, the dollar — that thing your grandparents believed in after God. — needs to become less attractive so American exports can go global like K-pop. So, while Jerome Powell plays 4D chess with inflation, your Starbucks latte is now $12, and your savings account is becoming a nostalgia box.

And in the middle of this geopolitical rodeo stands Bitcoin. No CEO, no central bank, no yacht parties (okay maybe a few), As the dollar gets more worthless than a Blockbuster membership, Bitcoin is over there flexing like, “Sup, I’m still at $70K.” The value is also affected but the overall rise for bitcoin will start when more people again start putting money back in especially institutions, they are currently scrambling for all the available assets with prices dropping, the big worldwide asset sale courtesy of the American government

Investors? Laughing. Governments? Sweating. Boomers? Confused.

Bitcoin is now the emotionally unavailable ex everyone is suddenly texting back. How you doin?

“Hey, I know I dumped you at $30K, but I’ve changed.?”

In this era of flying Chinese cars, tweeting felonies, and upside-down trains, one thing’s clear: Bitcoin might not fix everything, but it’ll probably buy you a nice lunch while the world burns. Pick your assets like you pick your friends, family is just for life.