Ah, stablecoins. The dependable, drama-free cousin at the crypto family reunion. While Bitcoin’s over there arguing with Uncle Ethereum about gas fees, stablecoins just want to chill and pretend they’re fiat. And you know what? We love them for it.
But before you start making it rain USDT, USDC, or DAI like a crypto DJ, there are a few essential terms you need to understand:
ON-RAMPING: The Art of Turning Your Fiat into Crypto Without Crying
On-ramping is basically the crypto version of changing your money at the airport—except instead of getting ripped off by someone in a glass booth, you get ripped off by someone in a Discord group.
Translation: You give your precious fiat (KES, USD, etc.), and in return, you get stablecoins. Like buying a gift card for the internet. Except this gift card might unlock DeFi, NFTs, or really weird Telegram chats.
Tools of the Trade:
Mpesa + Binance: Because you trust Mpesa more .....
Ramp services like MoonPay, Transak, or Kotani Pay (Kenya reppin’ hard!)
Crypto P2P: AKA "talk to strangers with money" – proceed with caution and receipts.
OFF-RAMPING: Taking Profits Without Calling Your Banker “Boss”
So, you just flipped a monkey JPEG for $500? Congratulations, internet Picasso! But how do you turn that stablecoin stack back into real-world groceries?
Off-ramping is like crypto’s walk of shame—coming back from DeFi Land to the real world, where landlords still don’t accept DAI.
Options include:
Crypto agents (local dealers with smartphones)
Exchanges with Mpesa or mobile money withdrawals
Begging your friend who has “connections” to convert it for you
Telling your grandma it’s “bonus airtime” and moving on
KYC: The Party Pooper of Crypto
KYC stands for “Know Your Customer,” but it might as well mean “Kill Your Cool.” This is where you stop being an anonymous ape and start being, well, you.
Uploading your ID, selfies, and blood type (joking... kind of) is now a standard part of using most exchanges. Why? Because regulators don’t trust your burner email and Pikachu profile pic.
Common KYC hurdles:
“Please upload a utility bill” (What if you live with your mum?)
“Proof of address” (Yes, this tree I’m standing under is permanent)
“Liveness check” (Stare into your webcam like a confused robot)
Final Thoughts from the Blockchain Bodega
Stablecoins are like emotionally stable: not flashy, but they work.
On-ramping and off-ramping are your in-and-out passes from Fiatville to Crypto-topia.
KYC is annoying, but unfortunately, being anonymous while buying millions in tokens is... frowned upon.
So next time someone tells you “Crypto is dead,” just smile and say, “Cool, I’ll be over here earning 5% APY while the banks offer 0.02% and those small, tiny sweets, you have to look for in the sweet wrapper.”
