One traditional technique that helps us understand why we need to get our fears right is aikido. It is a modern martial art that originated in Japan and was developed by Morihei Ueki (1883-1969) through a comprehensive study of martial arts, philosophy and spiritual beliefs. The breakthrough of Aikido lies in not fighting back directly in the face of an attack, but responding to the situation. The core goal is to redirect the potential energy of the attacker into a counterattacking force, rather than directly resisting the attack of the other side. The meaning of Aikido is "the way of uniting the Qi of life into one" or "the way of harmonious spirituality". The essence of Aikido also teaches us how to deal with pain, fear or worry in life. One way to think about both is this: If a man lunges at you with a sharp knife, the situation may seem desperate at first glance, but the aikido student must calm down, overcome his fear and see the knife coming first. Obviously, the most dangerous place around you is where the blade comes in. You know you have room to maneuver, you know your options, and you know what to do next. The same is true of suffering, fear and worry in life. At first, they seem to be everywhere, but our ability to cultivate ourselves as human beings depends on our ability to let go of this cloud of misery so that we can see the context and see where our choices lie. It is true, however, that we do react with bewilderment and fear to sudden attacks. It is a characteristic of pain, fear, and worry -- to come roaring down and grab us by the throat. At that moment of bewilderment, the whole world before us seemed to be in danger. But in the face of a challenge, our head, heart, and consciousness need to awaken so that we can hold on until the clouds of fear disperse and our "circle of fear" returns to a state of overlap with our "circle of safety." The longer we allow this alarm to control us, the longer we are bound by difficulties, so long that we can never find our way back. This is a useful realization, but it is not easy to implement. Not many people can be attacked with a sharp blade and instantly magically shrink their cloud of terror to the size of a true "safety circle." Perhaps only the masters of martial arts or aikido can do that.

What we want to learn from it is its spiritual, emotional and life application. When we are in a situation where a dark cloud of fear looms over us and crises seem to surround us -- whether it's in our relationships, our workplaces, our families, our studies, or any other situation that causes us pain, fear, or worry -- our personal development and spiritual growth depends on our ability to wait patiently for the clouds of fear to disperse and reveal what is really at stake. This is the most powerful way to narrow our circle of fear and make it coincide with our circle of safety. No matter how hard the fear is to let go, it's just a cloud that happens to appear, and although it can change the color of the world for a while, it will eventually change. In the face of pain and discomfort, we also need to be able to see the world as it is. Discomfort with a new experience is legitimate. This includes the feeling of being overwhelmed when we enter a new environment, the uncertainty that comes with chaos, and the fact that everything around us gets in our way as we stumble through life. During my recovery from cancer, I went through a lot of pain, fear, worry and discomfort. It drives me crazy to hear the attending physician refer to my condition as "discomfort," and I want to explore what "discomfort" and "pain" are, and the difference between them. When I was just admitted to the hospital, I was very afraid and set my "terror circle" very far away. As long as someone approached me, I could not help tightening my whole body and groaning in pain. When someone picks me up, I immediately yell "Ouch!" In the days that followed, I was pricked, hammered, raised, lowered, turned over, and propped up with pillows. Every time I was touched, I reacted with fear, as if every touch hurt me, and my circle of fear was that wide. As you can imagine, this only made my situation worse. Expecting pain so assiduously made it even more confusing, and my fear of pain put me in a corner from which there was no escape. Finally, mainly because I was tired, I had to start sifting through what I was alarmed about and start understanding the situation. I told myself, "OK, that's right, I've had a rib removed and it's going to hurt to turn over when I wake up. But two weeks later, when someone came to turn me over, I was just slightly sick. If someone came in and took my blood pressure and put a sleeve over my arm and slowly tightened it, it wouldn't hurt." Similarly, no matter what we experience, we have to learn how to distinguish between real pain and discomfort, between pains of growth and change, and just feelings. Each of us needs to learn the difference between suffering and growth, physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally. This requires us to practice confronting reality. This knowledge can help us survive life's inevitable pain, rather than avoid experiences that help us grow. Although these experiences interrupt our normal lives, these bumps are seen by the Hand of Time as nothing more than the process of expanding and deepening our time on Earth. We lack the ability to get through real discomfort (as opposed to real pain) and achieve the growth that the pain causes.

One traditional technique that helps us understand why we need to get our fears right is aikido. It is a modern martial art that originated in Japan and was developed by Morihei Ueki (1883-1969) through a comprehensive study of martial arts, philosophy and spiritual beliefs. The breakthrough of Aikido lies in not fighting back directly in the face of an attack, but responding to the situation. The core goal is to redirect the potential energy of the attacker into a counterattacking force, rather than directly resisting the attack of the other side. The meaning of Aikido is "the way of uniting the Qi of life into one" or "the way of harmonious spirituality". The essence of Aikido also teaches us how to deal with pain, fear or worry in life. One way to think about both is this: If a man lunges at you with a sharp knife, the situation may seem desperate at first glance, but the aikido student must calm down, overcome his fear and see the knife coming first. Obviously, the most dangerous place around you is where the blade comes in. You know you have room to maneuver, you know your options, and you know what to do next. The same is true of suffering, fear and worry in life. At first, they seem to be everywhere, but our ability to cultivate ourselves as human beings depends on our ability to let go of this cloud of misery so that we can see the context and see where our choices lie. It is true, however, that we do react with bewilderment and fear to sudden attacks. It is a characteristic of pain, fear, and worry -- to come roaring down and grab us by the throat. At that moment of bewilderment, the whole world before us seemed to be in danger. But in the face of a challenge, our head, heart, and consciousness need to awaken so that we can hold on until the clouds of fear disperse and our "circle of fear" returns to a state of overlap with our "circle of safety." The longer we allow this alarm to control us, the longer we are bound by difficulties, so long that we can never find our way back. This is a useful realization, but it is not easy to implement. Not many people can be attacked with a sharp blade and instantly magically shrink their cloud of terror to the size of a true "safety circle." Perhaps only the masters of martial arts or aikido can do that.

What we want to learn from it is its spiritual, emotional and life application. When we are in a situation where a dark cloud of fear looms over us and crises seem to surround us -- whether it's in our relationships, our workplaces, our families, our studies, or any other situation that causes us pain, fear, or worry -- our personal development and spiritual growth depends on our ability to wait patiently for the clouds of fear to disperse and reveal what is really at stake. This is the most powerful way to narrow our circle of fear and make it coincide with our circle of safety. No matter how hard the fear is to let go, it's just a cloud that happens to appear, and although it can change the color of the world for a while, it will eventually change. In the face of pain and discomfort, we also need to be able to see the world as it is. Discomfort with a new experience is legitimate. This includes the feeling of being overwhelmed when we enter a new environment, the uncertainty that comes with chaos, and the fact that everything around us gets in our way as we stumble through life. During my recovery from cancer, I went through a lot of pain, fear, worry and discomfort. It drives me crazy to hear the attending physician refer to my condition as "discomfort," and I want to explore what "discomfort" and "pain" are, and the difference between them. When I was just admitted to the hospital, I was very afraid and set my "terror circle" very far away. As long as someone approached me, I could not help tightening my whole body and groaning in pain. When someone picks me up, I immediately yell "Ouch!" In the days that followed, I was pricked, hammered, raised, lowered, turned over, and propped up with pillows. Every time I was touched, I reacted with fear, as if every touch hurt me, and my circle of fear was that wide. As you can imagine, this only made my situation worse. Expecting pain so assiduously made it even more confusing, and my fear of pain put me in a corner from which there was no escape. Finally, mainly because I was tired, I had to start sifting through what I was alarmed about and start understanding the situation. I told myself, "OK, that's right, I've had a rib removed and it's going to hurt to turn over when I wake up. But two weeks later, when someone came to turn me over, I was just slightly sick. If someone came in and took my blood pressure and put a sleeve over my arm and slowly tightened it, it wouldn't hurt." Similarly, no matter what we experience, we have to learn how to distinguish between real pain and discomfort, between pains of growth and change, and just feelings. Each of us needs to learn the difference between suffering and growth, physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally. This requires us to practice confronting reality. This knowledge can help us survive life's inevitable pain, rather than avoid experiences that help us grow. Although these experiences interrupt our normal lives, these bumps are seen by the Hand of Time as nothing more than the process of expanding and deepening our time on Earth. We lack the ability to get through real discomfort (as opposed to real pain) and achieve the growth that the pain causes.