Friends are invited to participate in a real estate activity. If they don't want to go, they say the time is not right. I thought it was all right. A few days later, people came to me again and said we had changed the time. Is it all right now. He just said, I'm really not free. Thank you for your invitation. People are not happy. They say we have changed the time for you. Whether the other party changed the time for him remains to be verified, but he refused others and left a handle. This friend is a little like me a few years ago. At that time, when I was young, I always felt that I had high EQ and didn't need to make the rejection too ugly. The routine used is often to promise others first, and then make up various reasons to show that you really want to go, but you can't. I'm always hesitant to go. Once, I'm really hesitant to go. I was shocked and hesitant? I didn't want to go at first. Later, I observed many people and found that the so-called rejection of high EQ, no matter how many reasons I made up and how many cushions I pulled out, gave others the impression that it was unreliable and easy to change. Refuse this matter, the highest EQ performance is OK, no, no, don't pretend. Dare not simply refuse others. On the surface, it is for the sake of others and does not want to embarrass others. In fact, it is too serious to take yourself seriously. If you refuse, people's heart will be broken. In fact, anyone who makes a request is prepared to be rejected. Even he may recognize the option of rejection more than you do. Don't think the other party is holding great hope. You have to speak. There is such a story in the real estate industry. A boss sold a piece of land to others and paid a deposit. When everyone ate together, the buyer looked grim, uncomfortable on the left and uncomfortable on the right, but he just didn't say why he was uncomfortable. The boss said thoughtfully that if you still feel uncomfortable after we finished the meal, I'll give you back a lot of money. After dinner, he asked the man if he was comfortable. The man said he was still uncomfortable, so he refunded the money. Not everyone has the good luck of this buyer. In reality, many people will slowly persuade you to do what you don't want to do if you don't refuse outright. And when you do, the other person doesn't appreciate you. On the contrary, he will talk about things with your attitude. Rejection doesn't need to be explained. The more you explain, the easier it is to create an illusion to others: you deliberately refuse me, or you deliberately raise your value and want me to keep begging you. When someone asks you for help, you don't say you can't help, but you say that today is busy. The next day, others put forward it again. You say to talk about it tomorrow. On the third day, people will invite you to dinner. On the fourth day, you say I can't help. That person will be furious. If you can't help, you can't say it earlier. It's a waste of expression. Another reason why we refuse others is that we are afraid to leave the impression of fickleness and injustice to our friends. In fact, the communication between the vast majority of people in the world can not rise to the height of friendship at all, but operates in rules. Rules are the only truth to test reliability. If you can do it, go all out and do it happily. If you can't do it, inform the other party at the first time. It's the interpersonal rule with the lowest cost. When others choose you and you simply refuse, you give the choice back to the other party. When I was an author, I hated one kind of editor most, that is, you gave him the manuscript. He said it was good. You asked again and said it was handed over to the editor in chief. The 18th time, he said I liked it, but the editor in chief didn't like it. It took almost half a month. Later, when I became an editor, I immediately told the author "it's not suitable for us, you give it to others quickly". My colleagues think I'm so upright that I offend people. It's not easy for someone else to write a manuscript. You say no after reading it in ten minutes. It's too hurtful. However, not only did I not offend the authors, but I made them trust me and feel that I read the manuscript professionally and accurately, especially understanding the positioning of my magazine and the thoughts of the editor in chief. There is no reason to refuse. The best reason is that you don't want to do it and are inappropriate. No matter how good the reason is, it is also a refusal. Rejection is not ugly, and the posture of not daring to refuse is more ugly. You don't want to pay and want to be a good man. There's nothing so cheap in the world. Therefore, I have only three suggestions for rejecting this embarrassing thing:

1. Say no at the first time.

2. The shorter the reason, the better. Be more sincere and less routine. As long as you are worthy of your own heart, you don't have to consider the other party's acceptance ability. Everyone is an adult. Who is responsible for who?

3. Tell the other party that you can help when the opportunity is right next time. Refusing others is a barrier we can't get around in our life. Since you have to climb over, please turn over with an elegant posture. Simply refusing others is to respect the time cost of both sides. Those who break up with you because they are rejected are the people you will lose sooner or later.

Friends are invited to participate in a real estate activity. If they don't want to go, they say the time is not right. I thought it was all right. A few days later, people came to me again and said we had changed the time. Is it all right now. He just said, I'm really not free. Thank you for your invitation. People are not happy. They say we have changed the time for you. Whether the other party changed the time for him remains to be verified, but he refused others and left a handle. This friend is a little like me a few years ago. At that time, when I was young, I always felt that I had high EQ and didn't need to make the rejection too ugly. The routine used is often to promise others first, and then make up various reasons to show that you really want to go, but you can't. I'm always hesitant to go. Once, I'm really hesitant to go. I was shocked and hesitant? I didn't want to go at first. Later, I observed many people and found that the so-called rejection of high EQ, no matter how many reasons I made up and how many cushions I pulled out, gave others the impression that it was unreliable and easy to change. Refuse this matter, the highest EQ performance is OK, no, no, don't pretend. Dare not simply refuse others. On the surface, it is for the sake of others and does not want to embarrass others. In fact, it is too serious to take yourself seriously. If you refuse, people's heart will be broken. In fact, anyone who makes a request is prepared to be rejected. Even he may recognize the option of rejection more than you do. Don't think the other party is holding great hope. You have to speak. There is such a story in the real estate industry. A boss sold a piece of land to others and paid a deposit. When everyone ate together, the buyer looked grim, uncomfortable on the left and uncomfortable on the right, but he just didn't say why he was uncomfortable. The boss said thoughtfully that if you still feel uncomfortable after we finished the meal, I'll give you back a lot of money. After dinner, he asked the man if he was comfortable. The man said he was still uncomfortable, so he refunded the money. Not everyone has the good luck of this buyer. In reality, many people will slowly persuade you to do what you don't want to do if you don't refuse outright. And when you do, the other person doesn't appreciate you. On the contrary, he will talk about things with your attitude. Rejection doesn't need to be explained. The more you explain, the easier it is to create an illusion to others: you deliberately refuse me, or you deliberately raise your value and want me to keep begging you. When someone asks you for help, you don't say you can't help, but you say that today is busy. The next day, others put forward it again. You say to talk about it tomorrow. On the third day, people will invite you to dinner. On the fourth day, you say I can't help. That person will be furious. If you can't help, you can't say it earlier. It's a waste of expression. Another reason why we refuse others is that we are afraid to leave the impression of fickleness and injustice to our friends. In fact, the communication between the vast majority of people in the world can not rise to the height of friendship at all, but operates in rules. Rules are the only truth to test reliability. If you can do it, go all out and do it happily. If you can't do it, inform the other party at the first time. It's the interpersonal rule with the lowest cost. When others choose you and you simply refuse, you give the choice back to the other party. When I was an author, I hated one kind of editor most, that is, you gave him the manuscript. He said it was good. You asked again and said it was handed over to the editor in chief. The 18th time, he said I liked it, but the editor in chief didn't like it. It took almost half a month. Later, when I became an editor, I immediately told the author "it's not suitable for us, you give it to others quickly". My colleagues think I'm so upright that I offend people. It's not easy for someone else to write a manuscript. You say no after reading it in ten minutes. It's too hurtful. However, not only did I not offend the authors, but I made them trust me and feel that I read the manuscript professionally and accurately, especially understanding the positioning of my magazine and the thoughts of the editor in chief. There is no reason to refuse. The best reason is that you don't want to do it and are inappropriate. No matter how good the reason is, it is also a refusal. Rejection is not ugly, and the posture of not daring to refuse is more ugly. You don't want to pay and want to be a good man. There's nothing so cheap in the world. Therefore, I have only three suggestions for rejecting this embarrassing thing:

1. Say no at the first time.

2. The shorter the reason, the better. Be more sincere and less routine. As long as you are worthy of your own heart, you don't have to consider the other party's acceptance ability. Everyone is an adult. Who is responsible for who?

3. Tell the other party that you can help when the opportunity is right next time. Refusing others is a barrier we can't get around in our life. Since you have to climb over, please turn over with an elegant posture. Simply refusing others is to respect the time cost of both sides. Those who break up with you because they are rejected are the people you will lose sooner or later.