In the past two years, many friends around me have said the same thing to me. They said, Su Mo, I envy you that you can live the life you want. Every time I meet someone who says that, I can only respond with a smile. We are all the same. We always stare at the brilliance of others, but never care about the efforts behind it. Of course, when I hear such envy, I will definitely tell each other that you can live in the way you like. However, they do not have such self-confidence. They either complain about others or admit their fate with a bitter smile. Of course, there are activists who "everyone is drunk and I wake up alone". They have many ideas and are also trying to make plans for themselves. I took action with chicken blood. Unfortunately, it backfired, achieved little, but felt more tired. In this regard, I would like to say that to be a better self, choice and effort are important, but learning to be patient with yourself is more important than choice and effort. In the process of growing up, everyone will experience confusion and pain, and will have a sense of crisis. Because of this sense of crisis, they are anxious and anxious. They dare not stop for a moment, but take a detour. In fact, it's really unnecessary. When you slow down and treat yourself patiently, you will find that life doesn't fail us many times, But we misunderstood ourselves. So, what should we do to become better ourselves step by step and live the life we want? Today, I will share with you my three experiences: accept the imperfections in life, find your own points of interest, and learn to be patient with yourself.

1. Accept imperfections in life I am a famous author. I have made some achievements from publishing articles in magazines in my junior year to publishing two personal works today. Therefore, some people speculate that I should graduate from Chinese or journalism. It's not. My major has nothing to do with writing. My major in college is accounting. Lively, active and fond of writing, I did boring and rigorous financial work after graduation. Is it an imperfection in life? However, in my life, there are too many imperfections that are much more serious than this. I was almost abandoned when I was born. Why? Because I'm not a boy, my parents' expectations failed, so I was tossed and sent away, wandered in other people's homes for a few days, and was picked up by my parents to my grandmother's house until I graduated from junior high school. When I was five years old, my grandmother went to the city to help my uncle take care of his children. My grandfather was busy making a living and often forgot that there was me at home. At the age of six, I went to my uncle's house with my grandmother and went to primary school. My uncle and aunt loved me very much. This was the happiest period of my childhood. Every day after school, I always ate snacks and lay on the balcony to watch the military recruits drill. Happiness didn't last long. When I was in the third grade of primary school, adults began to discuss adoption again. When my uncle tried to discuss how to change my mouth, I cried because of such a huge turning point. Finally, the matter ended up under my strong rejection. However, this matter has made us have a distance and estrangement from each other. This matter also makes me realize that I am an unwelcome child in the world. In the third year of junior high school, my grandmother jokingly described in detail what happened when I was born. I couldn't describe the shock at the bottom of my heart, the sadness couldn't be resolved, and my grades fell rapidly. Every time my mother came to my grandmother's house, I hid in the room and remained silent. When she tried to let me choose to repeat the course according to the teacher's advice, I found a vent and resolutely refused to repeat the course. Instead, I went to a technical secondary school in another place. In other places, a person's life is particularly free. I finally left the home where I disliked each other. My days at school are very busy, busy reading and training, busy participating in various competitions, speaking, writing, writing sketches and running school journals. This kind of brush that is concerned and cared about has greatly satisfied my vanity. Now, in fact, what I do is just a disguised escape. I want to prove that I am independent and excellent in this way and let my parents admit that ignoring me is a wrong choice. Technical secondary school was about to graduate, and the students in the class went to the field workshop for internship under the arrangement of the school. When it was my turn, I began to panic and felt the cruelty of reality. Considering that I would become an assembly line worker at the age of 18, I really couldn't accept it. So, for the first time in my life, I took the initiative to dial the phone at home. I told my parents that I didn't want to go to internship. I wanted to continue my study. Two weeks later, I asked for leave to go home, talked to my parents, repeatedly confirmed my ideas and wrote down my guarantee. In this way, when all my classmates went to practice, I went to high school and chose to start over. Even though my parents have made great efforts in this matter, it does not mean that we have reconciled. The truth that we have been abandoned makes my heart prick like a thorn in my throat. I don't like accounting either. I feel uncomfortable at the thought of dealing with numbers and money after graduation. The gap between reality and ideal makes me painful and irritable. One day, at the request of my roommate, I accompanied her to the playground for running. I ran around the playground sweating profusely, but my mood was rare and relaxed. Since then, I have learned to use exercise to relieve the negative emotions in my heart. Except for class, I spend all my time reading every day. I have a strong curiosity. Reading makes me solve many doubts and puzzles in my heart. I read more books and have more ideas. I tried to write some feelings into words and try to submit them. Then I received countless rejection letters. Until the summer vacation of my junior year, I published my first article in my life in lover magazine. After graduating from University, I went to an enterprise in Hunan as an accountant. Later, because I couldn't bear my mistakes in work, I went home in a dignified way. At the strong request of my parents, I took the career preparation examination and went to the local family planning office. My life in the preparation was lazy and degenerate. In this way, I started writing again. The pleasure brought by writing supported me for nearly two years. I saved my meager royalties a little bit, and then resigned to Beijing behind my parents' back. In the eyes of my parents, writing is simply not doing business. They are particularly angry at my choice. Indeed, because I had a miserable life in the first two years when I first arrived in Beijing, with few royalties and a poor life. In order not to be starved to death, I supported myself by being a gunman. Later, after being recommended by my friends, I worked as a planning editor in a Book Studio to solve the problem of survival. Two years later, I published my first work, and my life gradually stabilized. With the stability of my life, my parents' attitude is becoming more and more tolerant and understanding. In fact, all parents are the same. Sometimes the reason why we stand on the opposite side of us is not to oppose for the sake of opposition, but that we do not show the actions and attitudes that our parents can trust. Over the years, I have taken so many detours. Until I was willing to face up to the problems with my parents from the bottom of my heart and admit the fact that we have been absent from each other's lives for 19 years, I saw that in addition to this lack, my parents love me very much and they have been trying to make up for their mistakes. Therefore, in the face of imperfections in fate, we don't have to deliberately resist or please. We can get a real sense of security by knowing what we want. OK, after telling so many growth stories, what I want to express is that before that, I never thought that my happiness comes from accepting my life. Accepting your destiny is not a passive commitment, but an active acceptance of all the painful and unpleasant things in your growth experience. If you truly accept these imperfect existence in the bottom of your heart, you will become calm and rational to face the harm it brings you and reconcile with it.

2. Find your interest Accept imperfections in life not to please others, but to please yourself. So the question is, how can we please ourselves and find our own points of interest? Moreover, many friends will say that I don't know what I want at all. My answer is to find and try. Many times, the reason why we can't find fun is not that we are confused, but that we are too lazy. Make good use of your curiosity and you will find that this is really a low-cost and high-yield thing. To concretize our curiosity, there are many: extroversion. You can use your spare time to participate in some free lectures, book changing activities, book club activities, or go to art exhibitions, watch stage dramas and listen to musicals; Introverted, you can travel, learn to make handicrafts, taste a delicious food, or participate in NGO public welfare organizations... Through these methods, you will have many beautiful things in your life, and you will find that the world is different from your imagination. The more you communicate with the outside world, your pattern and vision will be broadened, and you will feel full and happy if you absorb external forces. More importantly, through these participation, you will screen out your interests, Delight yourself, or develop into aspirations. You can also develop yourself into a capital and powerful slash youth and give yourself more choices in life. Every road leading to the future comes out, rather than seeing the end from the beginning. With a sense of direction, taking the first step bravely and moving forward firmly is the best angel investment in life. Your sweat will not be lost in vain, your efforts will not be wasted, and time will be the best proof.

3. Learn to be patient with yourself Accept the flaws of life and find your interest. Next, let's talk about the attitude after setting goals. I know that we live in an era of efficiency. What we want to seek can be quickly obtained in a convenient way. You have a professional recruitment website when looking for a job. If you want to travel, you can find senior strategy sharing every minute. Even if you want to fall in love, you can get countless responses by posting a dating post. The whole world is speaking with efficiency. Everyone is coerced by this rhythm, anxious to buy a house, buy a car, marry someone and have children, and constantly speed up and speed up like high-speed rail. Therefore, we are eager to achieve something, and even overwork for this desire. Like you, I agree with today's social view, but I don't agree with taking efficiency as the standard of success or failure. Once I was so anxious that I couldn't support my dream. I wanted everything and wanted to grasp everything. As a result, I was embarrassed and tired. Later, I learned to decompose goals from an advertising director, and I have benefited a lot until now. This method is very simple. It is to set a specific time for what you want to do, and then make a simple analysis. The distance between me and what you want to do, what you have and what you lack, and then concretize and decompose the missing part into every day of each month. At first, I didn't think so. When I really did it, I realized that this seemingly slow method is the real shortcut. This method actually uses the "low ball skill" theory of psychology, which says that it is difficult to give up halfway once people make a decision, even if the conditions change. Many salesmen are particularly good at using this skill. When selling to customers, they often introduce things with lower prices and within the customer's budget. When customers are deeply attracted and will not shake their purchase determination with the change of price, they will launch goods with better prices. In short, it is a gradual cycle of "from low to high", so as to try to avoid customers' intention to retreat because they can't afford it at the first time. This concept has the same truth in life. Whether it's a major event or a small part of life, from body management to internal improvement, from working hard in the workplace to love game. If we slow down, slow down, and pursue speed, we should also leave ourselves enough buffer and bounce space to avoid possible risks in a more secure way, The happiness gained is richer and fuller. Little progress every day seems slow, but the cumulative results can not be underestimated. Life is so long that we should all be responsible for our choices, know what we want, slow down and pay attention to our inner happiness in order to enjoy this good time. There is no shortcut to anything we have to do. Sometimes it's faster to take your time.

In the past two years, many friends around me have said the same thing to me. They said, Su Mo, I envy you that you can live the life you want. Every time I meet someone who says that, I can only respond with a smile. We are all the same. We always stare at the brilliance of others, but never care about the efforts behind it. Of course, when I hear such envy, I will definitely tell each other that you can live in the way you like. However, they do not have such self-confidence. They either complain about others or admit their fate with a bitter smile. Of course, there are activists who "everyone is drunk and I wake up alone". They have many ideas and are also trying to make plans for themselves. I took action with chicken blood. Unfortunately, it backfired, achieved little, but felt more tired. In this regard, I would like to say that to be a better self, choice and effort are important, but learning to be patient with yourself is more important than choice and effort. In the process of growing up, everyone will experience confusion and pain, and will have a sense of crisis. Because of this sense of crisis, they are anxious and anxious. They dare not stop for a moment, but take a detour. In fact, it's really unnecessary. When you slow down and treat yourself patiently, you will find that life doesn't fail us many times, But we misunderstood ourselves. So, what should we do to become better ourselves step by step and live the life we want? Today, I will share with you my three experiences: accept the imperfections in life, find your own points of interest, and learn to be patient with yourself.

1. Accept imperfections in life I am a famous author. I have made some achievements from publishing articles in magazines in my junior year to publishing two personal works today. Therefore, some people speculate that I should graduate from Chinese or journalism. It's not. My major has nothing to do with writing. My major in college is accounting. Lively, active and fond of writing, I did boring and rigorous financial work after graduation. Is it an imperfection in life? However, in my life, there are too many imperfections that are much more serious than this. I was almost abandoned when I was born. Why? Because I'm not a boy, my parents' expectations failed, so I was tossed and sent away, wandered in other people's homes for a few days, and was picked up by my parents to my grandmother's house until I graduated from junior high school. When I was five years old, my grandmother went to the city to help my uncle take care of his children. My grandfather was busy making a living and often forgot that there was me at home. At the age of six, I went to my uncle's house with my grandmother and went to primary school. My uncle and aunt loved me very much. This was the happiest period of my childhood. Every day after school, I always ate snacks and lay on the balcony to watch the military recruits drill. Happiness didn't last long. When I was in the third grade of primary school, adults began to discuss adoption again. When my uncle tried to discuss how to change my mouth, I cried because of such a huge turning point. Finally, the matter ended up under my strong rejection. However, this matter has made us have a distance and estrangement from each other. This matter also makes me realize that I am an unwelcome child in the world. In the third year of junior high school, my grandmother jokingly described in detail what happened when I was born. I couldn't describe the shock at the bottom of my heart, the sadness couldn't be resolved, and my grades fell rapidly. Every time my mother came to my grandmother's house, I hid in the room and remained silent. When she tried to let me choose to repeat the course according to the teacher's advice, I found a vent and resolutely refused to repeat the course. Instead, I went to a technical secondary school in another place. In other places, a person's life is particularly free. I finally left the home where I disliked each other. My days at school are very busy, busy reading and training, busy participating in various competitions, speaking, writing, writing sketches and running school journals. This kind of brush that is concerned and cared about has greatly satisfied my vanity. Now, in fact, what I do is just a disguised escape. I want to prove that I am independent and excellent in this way and let my parents admit that ignoring me is a wrong choice. Technical secondary school was about to graduate, and the students in the class went to the field workshop for internship under the arrangement of the school. When it was my turn, I began to panic and felt the cruelty of reality. Considering that I would become an assembly line worker at the age of 18, I really couldn't accept it. So, for the first time in my life, I took the initiative to dial the phone at home. I told my parents that I didn't want to go to internship. I wanted to continue my study. Two weeks later, I asked for leave to go home, talked to my parents, repeatedly confirmed my ideas and wrote down my guarantee. In this way, when all my classmates went to practice, I went to high school and chose to start over. Even though my parents have made great efforts in this matter, it does not mean that we have reconciled. The truth that we have been abandoned makes my heart prick like a thorn in my throat. I don't like accounting either. I feel uncomfortable at the thought of dealing with numbers and money after graduation. The gap between reality and ideal makes me painful and irritable. One day, at the request of my roommate, I accompanied her to the playground for running. I ran around the playground sweating profusely, but my mood was rare and relaxed. Since then, I have learned to use exercise to relieve the negative emotions in my heart. Except for class, I spend all my time reading every day. I have a strong curiosity. Reading makes me solve many doubts and puzzles in my heart. I read more books and have more ideas. I tried to write some feelings into words and try to submit them. Then I received countless rejection letters. Until the summer vacation of my junior year, I published my first article in my life in lover magazine. After graduating from University, I went to an enterprise in Hunan as an accountant. Later, because I couldn't bear my mistakes in work, I went home in a dignified way. At the strong request of my parents, I took the career preparation examination and went to the local family planning office. My life in the preparation was lazy and degenerate. In this way, I started writing again. The pleasure brought by writing supported me for nearly two years. I saved my meager royalties a little bit, and then resigned to Beijing behind my parents' back. In the eyes of my parents, writing is simply not doing business. They are particularly angry at my choice. Indeed, because I had a miserable life in the first two years when I first arrived in Beijing, with few royalties and a poor life. In order not to be starved to death, I supported myself by being a gunman. Later, after being recommended by my friends, I worked as a planning editor in a Book Studio to solve the problem of survival. Two years later, I published my first work, and my life gradually stabilized. With the stability of my life, my parents' attitude is becoming more and more tolerant and understanding. In fact, all parents are the same. Sometimes the reason why we stand on the opposite side of us is not to oppose for the sake of opposition, but that we do not show the actions and attitudes that our parents can trust. Over the years, I have taken so many detours. Until I was willing to face up to the problems with my parents from the bottom of my heart and admit the fact that we have been absent from each other's lives for 19 years, I saw that in addition to this lack, my parents love me very much and they have been trying to make up for their mistakes. Therefore, in the face of imperfections in fate, we don't have to deliberately resist or please. We can get a real sense of security by knowing what we want. OK, after telling so many growth stories, what I want to express is that before that, I never thought that my happiness comes from accepting my life. Accepting your destiny is not a passive commitment, but an active acceptance of all the painful and unpleasant things in your growth experience. If you truly accept these imperfect existence in the bottom of your heart, you will become calm and rational to face the harm it brings you and reconcile with it.

2. Find your interest Accept imperfections in life not to please others, but to please yourself. So the question is, how can we please ourselves and find our own points of interest? Moreover, many friends will say that I don't know what I want at all. My answer is to find and try. Many times, the reason why we can't find fun is not that we are confused, but that we are too lazy. Make good use of your curiosity and you will find that this is really a low-cost and high-yield thing. To concretize our curiosity, there are many: extroversion. You can use your spare time to participate in some free lectures, book changing activities, book club activities, or go to art exhibitions, watch stage dramas and listen to musicals; Introverted, you can travel, learn to make handicrafts, taste a delicious food, or participate in NGO public welfare organizations... Through these methods, you will have many beautiful things in your life, and you will find that the world is different from your imagination. The more you communicate with the outside world, your pattern and vision will be broadened, and you will feel full and happy if you absorb external forces. More importantly, through these participation, you will screen out your interests, Delight yourself, or develop into aspirations. You can also develop yourself into a capital and powerful slash youth and give yourself more choices in life. Every road leading to the future comes out, rather than seeing the end from the beginning. With a sense of direction, taking the first step bravely and moving forward firmly is the best angel investment in life. Your sweat will not be lost in vain, your efforts will not be wasted, and time will be the best proof.

3. Learn to be patient with yourself Accept the flaws of life and find your interest. Next, let's talk about the attitude after setting goals. I know that we live in an era of efficiency. What we want to seek can be quickly obtained in a convenient way. You have a professional recruitment website when looking for a job. If you want to travel, you can find senior strategy sharing every minute. Even if you want to fall in love, you can get countless responses by posting a dating post. The whole world is speaking with efficiency. Everyone is coerced by this rhythm, anxious to buy a house, buy a car, marry someone and have children, and constantly speed up and speed up like high-speed rail. Therefore, we are eager to achieve something, and even overwork for this desire. Like you, I agree with today's social view, but I don't agree with taking efficiency as the standard of success or failure. Once I was so anxious that I couldn't support my dream. I wanted everything and wanted to grasp everything. As a result, I was embarrassed and tired. Later, I learned to decompose goals from an advertising director, and I have benefited a lot until now. This method is very simple. It is to set a specific time for what you want to do, and then make a simple analysis. The distance between me and what you want to do, what you have and what you lack, and then concretize and decompose the missing part into every day of each month. At first, I didn't think so. When I really did it, I realized that this seemingly slow method is the real shortcut. This method actually uses the "low ball skill" theory of psychology, which says that it is difficult to give up halfway once people make a decision, even if the conditions change. Many salesmen are particularly good at using this skill. When selling to customers, they often introduce things with lower prices and within the customer's budget. When customers are deeply attracted and will not shake their purchase determination with the change of price, they will launch goods with better prices. In short, it is a gradual cycle of "from low to high", so as to try to avoid customers' intention to retreat because they can't afford it at the first time. This concept has the same truth in life. Whether it's a major event or a small part of life, from body management to internal improvement, from working hard in the workplace to love game. If we slow down, slow down, and pursue speed, we should also leave ourselves enough buffer and bounce space to avoid possible risks in a more secure way, The happiness gained is richer and fuller. Little progress every day seems slow, but the cumulative results can not be underestimated. Life is so long that we should all be responsible for our choices, know what we want, slow down and pay attention to our inner happiness in order to enjoy this good time. There is no shortcut to anything we have to do. Sometimes it's faster to take your time.