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jer979A Gentle Meeting
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jer979A Gentle Meeting
jer979Purpose Struggle
Yesterday, I decided that my blogging career should come to an end. I was doing myself a disservice. I told myself that the goal of the posts was to dig deeper, peel back the layers, get down to the core. But by publishing online (or on-chain as the case may be), I was subconsciously writing for others, even if I told myself that I didn't care if others read. So, in an effort to be more authentic, I figured I'd stop publishing and start doing a private journal. Within 2 hours of that decision...
jer979Value. Happiness.
I feel happy. It's fun, it's light, like a feather floating at the beginning of Forrest Gump. But, like the feather, it's not grounded. It can flitter and float away. Value is also ephemeral. We know it when we see it. We feel it, somewhere deep inside. Something connects to us, saying "yes, this is worth it." The "it" that it's worth is energy. Energy in the form of time, attention, money. The things of which our possession is limited. There's a reason why all the great traditions point to "...
jer979Coffee with AI
Every day for the past month, I’ve had a coffee date with AI. I literally sit down, with a cup of coffee, with an appointment on my calendar that says “coffee with AI”. During that time, AI (I’ve used ChatGPT, Gemini, Perplexity, Claude, and Venice) and I literally have a chat, the way I would with a friend. It’s not “write this letter for me” or “do this or that.” No, it’s a chance for us to have a conversation about whatever topic I want. Many days, recently, at least, it’s been about quant...
jer979Purpose Struggle
Yesterday, I decided that my blogging career should come to an end. I was doing myself a disservice. I told myself that the goal of the posts was to dig deeper, peel back the layers, get down to the core. But by publishing online (or on-chain as the case may be), I was subconsciously writing for others, even if I told myself that I didn't care if others read. So, in an effort to be more authentic, I figured I'd stop publishing and start doing a private journal. Within 2 hours of that decision...
jer979Value. Happiness.
I feel happy. It's fun, it's light, like a feather floating at the beginning of Forrest Gump. But, like the feather, it's not grounded. It can flitter and float away. Value is also ephemeral. We know it when we see it. We feel it, somewhere deep inside. Something connects to us, saying "yes, this is worth it." The "it" that it's worth is energy. Energy in the form of time, attention, money. The things of which our possession is limited. There's a reason why all the great traditions point to "...
jer979Coffee with AI
Every day for the past month, I’ve had a coffee date with AI. I literally sit down, with a cup of coffee, with an appointment on my calendar that says “coffee with AI”. During that time, AI (I’ve used ChatGPT, Gemini, Perplexity, Claude, and Venice) and I literally have a chat, the way I would with a friend. It’s not “write this letter for me” or “do this or that.” No, it’s a chance for us to have a conversation about whatever topic I want. Many days, recently, at least, it’s been about quant...
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<100 subscribers
I feel a sensation. I try to recognize what emotion it is and I try to sit with it.
But almost immediately, I start to name it, to categorize it, to explore it intellectually.
I recognize the “spiritual intellectual” shadow at work.
I hear the Dao De Jing, “The Dao that can be told is not the eternal Dao. The name that can be named is not the eternal name.”
I know there’s a better way.
Then I hear the “drill sergeant” shadow yelling at me, “You’re supposed to just with it! Don’t name it, dammit!”
I feel the frustration.
Then the cycle starts again.
It continues and I feel like a young kid who just can’t “get it right.”
But, at some point, for whatever reason, the cycle breaks.
Instead of the drill sergeant, someone else (I don’t know who and it doesn’t really matter) steps in and says
“Hey bud, it’s ok. You’re giving it a shot. It’s going to take a long while. A very long while. Just be patient. You’re doing just fine.”
I feel the tension dissipate from my shoulders.
And I can enjoy a nice long cathartic exhalation.
I feel a sensation. I try to recognize what emotion it is and I try to sit with it.
But almost immediately, I start to name it, to categorize it, to explore it intellectually.
I recognize the “spiritual intellectual” shadow at work.
I hear the Dao De Jing, “The Dao that can be told is not the eternal Dao. The name that can be named is not the eternal name.”
I know there’s a better way.
Then I hear the “drill sergeant” shadow yelling at me, “You’re supposed to just with it! Don’t name it, dammit!”
I feel the frustration.
Then the cycle starts again.
It continues and I feel like a young kid who just can’t “get it right.”
But, at some point, for whatever reason, the cycle breaks.
Instead of the drill sergeant, someone else (I don’t know who and it doesn’t really matter) steps in and says
“Hey bud, it’s ok. You’re giving it a shot. It’s going to take a long while. A very long while. Just be patient. You’re doing just fine.”
I feel the tension dissipate from my shoulders.
And I can enjoy a nice long cathartic exhalation.
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