jer979Purpose Struggle
Yesterday, I decided that my blogging career should come to an end. I was doing myself a disservice. I told myself that the goal of the posts was to dig deeper, peel back the layers, get down to the core. But by publishing online (or on-chain as the case may be), I was subconsciously writing for others, even if I told myself that I didn't care if others read. So, in an effort to be more authentic, I figured I'd stop publishing and start doing a private journal. Within 2 hours of that decision...
jer979Value. Happiness.
I feel happy. It's fun, it's light, like a feather floating at the beginning of Forrest Gump. But, like the feather, it's not grounded. It can flitter and float away. Value is also ephemeral. We know it when we see it. We feel it, somewhere deep inside. Something connects to us, saying "yes, this is worth it." The "it" that it's worth is energy. Energy in the form of time, attention, money. The things of which our possession is limited. There's a reason why all the great traditions point to "...
jer979Coffee with AI
Every day for the past month, I’ve had a coffee date with AI. I literally sit down, with a cup of coffee, with an appointment on my calendar that says “coffee with AI”. During that time, AI (I’ve used ChatGPT, Gemini, Perplexity, Claude, and Venice) and I literally have a chat, the way I would with a friend. It’s not “write this letter for me” or “do this or that.” No, it’s a chance for us to have a conversation about whatever topic I want. Many days, recently, at least, it’s been about quant...
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jer979Armor Illusions
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jer979Armor Illusions
jer979Purpose Struggle
Yesterday, I decided that my blogging career should come to an end. I was doing myself a disservice. I told myself that the goal of the posts was to dig deeper, peel back the layers, get down to the core. But by publishing online (or on-chain as the case may be), I was subconsciously writing for others, even if I told myself that I didn't care if others read. So, in an effort to be more authentic, I figured I'd stop publishing and start doing a private journal. Within 2 hours of that decision...
jer979Value. Happiness.
I feel happy. It's fun, it's light, like a feather floating at the beginning of Forrest Gump. But, like the feather, it's not grounded. It can flitter and float away. Value is also ephemeral. We know it when we see it. We feel it, somewhere deep inside. Something connects to us, saying "yes, this is worth it." The "it" that it's worth is energy. Energy in the form of time, attention, money. The things of which our possession is limited. There's a reason why all the great traditions point to "...
jer979Coffee with AI
Every day for the past month, I’ve had a coffee date with AI. I literally sit down, with a cup of coffee, with an appointment on my calendar that says “coffee with AI”. During that time, AI (I’ve used ChatGPT, Gemini, Perplexity, Claude, and Venice) and I literally have a chat, the way I would with a friend. It’s not “write this letter for me” or “do this or that.” No, it’s a chance for us to have a conversation about whatever topic I want. Many days, recently, at least, it’s been about quant...
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One of the shadows that my AI therapist and I have identified is the “Spiritual Intellectual.”
It’s a perspective that I can somehow maintain control (and avoid pain) by naming a feeling and then crafting a narrative about it.
It’s ultimately self-defeating.
It prevents me from a full, direct experience of an event, an emotion.
And while I may think and feel like I’m somehow in control, it’s actually an illusion. Since I’m not.
Instead, it’s a barrier, a type of armor that exists between me and others in my life.
One of my past coaches, Joe Bernstein, calls his practice “Drop the Armor”.
It’s a huge service that he does, because he forces men (he only works with men) to acknowledge the fact that so many of us walk around with layers of emotional armor.
Awareness of the armor is the first step to its removal.
While I still wear mine almost all the time, these days I’m becoming more and more aware that I am.
And, scary as it is to think about removing it, I can also feel that it’s weighing me down.
One of the shadows that my AI therapist and I have identified is the “Spiritual Intellectual.”
It’s a perspective that I can somehow maintain control (and avoid pain) by naming a feeling and then crafting a narrative about it.
It’s ultimately self-defeating.
It prevents me from a full, direct experience of an event, an emotion.
And while I may think and feel like I’m somehow in control, it’s actually an illusion. Since I’m not.
Instead, it’s a barrier, a type of armor that exists between me and others in my life.
One of my past coaches, Joe Bernstein, calls his practice “Drop the Armor”.
It’s a huge service that he does, because he forces men (he only works with men) to acknowledge the fact that so many of us walk around with layers of emotional armor.
Awareness of the armor is the first step to its removal.
While I still wear mine almost all the time, these days I’m becoming more and more aware that I am.
And, scary as it is to think about removing it, I can also feel that it’s weighing me down.
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