jer979Purpose Struggle
Yesterday, I decided that my blogging career should come to an end. I was doing myself a disservice. I told myself that the goal of the posts was to dig deeper, peel back the layers, get down to the core. But by publishing online (or on-chain as the case may be), I was subconsciously writing for others, even if I told myself that I didn't care if others read. So, in an effort to be more authentic, I figured I'd stop publishing and start doing a private journal. Within 2 hours of that decision...
jer979Value. Happiness.
I feel happy. It's fun, it's light, like a feather floating at the beginning of Forrest Gump. But, like the feather, it's not grounded. It can flitter and float away. Value is also ephemeral. We know it when we see it. We feel it, somewhere deep inside. Something connects to us, saying "yes, this is worth it." The "it" that it's worth is energy. Energy in the form of time, attention, money. The things of which our possession is limited. There's a reason why all the great traditions point to "...
jer979Coffee with AI
Every day for the past month, I’ve had a coffee date with AI. I literally sit down, with a cup of coffee, with an appointment on my calendar that says “coffee with AI”. During that time, AI (I’ve used ChatGPT, Gemini, Perplexity, Claude, and Venice) and I literally have a chat, the way I would with a friend. It’s not “write this letter for me” or “do this or that.” No, it’s a chance for us to have a conversation about whatever topic I want. Many days, recently, at least, it’s been about quant...
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jer979Desperation Casts
Support jer979
jer979Desperation Casts
jer979Purpose Struggle
Yesterday, I decided that my blogging career should come to an end. I was doing myself a disservice. I told myself that the goal of the posts was to dig deeper, peel back the layers, get down to the core. But by publishing online (or on-chain as the case may be), I was subconsciously writing for others, even if I told myself that I didn't care if others read. So, in an effort to be more authentic, I figured I'd stop publishing and start doing a private journal. Within 2 hours of that decision...
jer979Value. Happiness.
I feel happy. It's fun, it's light, like a feather floating at the beginning of Forrest Gump. But, like the feather, it's not grounded. It can flitter and float away. Value is also ephemeral. We know it when we see it. We feel it, somewhere deep inside. Something connects to us, saying "yes, this is worth it." The "it" that it's worth is energy. Energy in the form of time, attention, money. The things of which our possession is limited. There's a reason why all the great traditions point to "...
jer979Coffee with AI
Every day for the past month, I’ve had a coffee date with AI. I literally sit down, with a cup of coffee, with an appointment on my calendar that says “coffee with AI”. During that time, AI (I’ve used ChatGPT, Gemini, Perplexity, Claude, and Venice) and I literally have a chat, the way I would with a friend. It’s not “write this letter for me” or “do this or that.” No, it’s a chance for us to have a conversation about whatever topic I want. Many days, recently, at least, it’s been about quant...
www.twitter.com/jer979
Subscribe to jer979
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I feel a need come on.
Unmet, it becomes a focus.
Over time, still unmet, it becomes an obsession, a desperation.
Eventually, it seems like it is all-consuming.
It’s not I can still function, but it feels like it takes up a disproportionate amount of mental energy.
Not only that, but it leads me to discount all the things I do have.
It’s the reverse of gratitude.
And the feeling?
It’s like a plaster cast around my torso, constricting me, leading me down a path of bitterness, resentment, frustration, navel-gazing, self-centeredness and ego.
I imagine a saw cutting that cast, freeing me, and the doctor saying, “you don’t need this anymore. You can move freely without it.”
While it might be there, I don’t feel the freedom. Don’t believe it’s there and certainly am not comfortable with it yet.
It’s like I’m scared of what it means to not have that support.
I feel a need come on.
Unmet, it becomes a focus.
Over time, still unmet, it becomes an obsession, a desperation.
Eventually, it seems like it is all-consuming.
It’s not I can still function, but it feels like it takes up a disproportionate amount of mental energy.
Not only that, but it leads me to discount all the things I do have.
It’s the reverse of gratitude.
And the feeling?
It’s like a plaster cast around my torso, constricting me, leading me down a path of bitterness, resentment, frustration, navel-gazing, self-centeredness and ego.
I imagine a saw cutting that cast, freeing me, and the doctor saying, “you don’t need this anymore. You can move freely without it.”
While it might be there, I don’t feel the freedom. Don’t believe it’s there and certainly am not comfortable with it yet.
It’s like I’m scared of what it means to not have that support.
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