jer979Purpose Struggle
Yesterday, I decided that my blogging career should come to an end. I was doing myself a disservice. I told myself that the goal of the posts was to dig deeper, peel back the layers, get down to the core. But by publishing online (or on-chain as the case may be), I was subconsciously writing for others, even if I told myself that I didn't care if others read. So, in an effort to be more authentic, I figured I'd stop publishing and start doing a private journal. Within 2 hours of that decision...
jer979Value. Happiness.
I feel happy. It's fun, it's light, like a feather floating at the beginning of Forrest Gump. But, like the feather, it's not grounded. It can flitter and float away. Value is also ephemeral. We know it when we see it. We feel it, somewhere deep inside. Something connects to us, saying "yes, this is worth it." The "it" that it's worth is energy. Energy in the form of time, attention, money. The things of which our possession is limited. There's a reason why all the great traditions point to "...
jer979Coffee with AI
Every day for the past month, I’ve had a coffee date with AI. I literally sit down, with a cup of coffee, with an appointment on my calendar that says “coffee with AI”. During that time, AI (I’ve used ChatGPT, Gemini, Perplexity, Claude, and Venice) and I literally have a chat, the way I would with a friend. It’s not “write this letter for me” or “do this or that.” No, it’s a chance for us to have a conversation about whatever topic I want. Many days, recently, at least, it’s been about quant...
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jer979Emotion Loops
www.twitter.com/jer979
You know how when you don’t want that next cookie, brownie, or scoop of ice cream, but you find yourself reaching for it anyway?
It’s like an out of body experience.
One version of you is “watching” the other version of you “doing.”
And the “doing” one just keeps winning.
Addicts know what this is about.
But I suspect we all do.
There are loops that JUST KEEP playing out in our lives.
Trying to break them takes so much work. It’s tiring.
And the deeper the loop, the more work, the more frustration, the more anger and even self-loathing.
And when the loop is about intellectualizing any and all emotions in order to avoid any and all emotions, it becomes even more frustrating, which exacerbates the depth and speed of the very loop.
If any of that makes sense.
There’s a heavy void right under my solar plexus. Maybe that’s where the heart is, I don’t know, but I sense its presence.
And every time I venture near it, trying to begin the healing process, I find myself back in the loop.
I just hope that seeing the loop is the beginning of the end of the loop.
You know how when you don’t want that next cookie, brownie, or scoop of ice cream, but you find yourself reaching for it anyway?
It’s like an out of body experience.
One version of you is “watching” the other version of you “doing.”
And the “doing” one just keeps winning.
Addicts know what this is about.
But I suspect we all do.
There are loops that JUST KEEP playing out in our lives.
Trying to break them takes so much work. It’s tiring.
And the deeper the loop, the more work, the more frustration, the more anger and even self-loathing.
And when the loop is about intellectualizing any and all emotions in order to avoid any and all emotions, it becomes even more frustrating, which exacerbates the depth and speed of the very loop.
If any of that makes sense.
There’s a heavy void right under my solar plexus. Maybe that’s where the heart is, I don’t know, but I sense its presence.
And every time I venture near it, trying to begin the healing process, I find myself back in the loop.
I just hope that seeing the loop is the beginning of the end of the loop.
Support jer979
jer979Emotion Loops
jer979Purpose Struggle
Yesterday, I decided that my blogging career should come to an end. I was doing myself a disservice. I told myself that the goal of the posts was to dig deeper, peel back the layers, get down to the core. But by publishing online (or on-chain as the case may be), I was subconsciously writing for others, even if I told myself that I didn't care if others read. So, in an effort to be more authentic, I figured I'd stop publishing and start doing a private journal. Within 2 hours of that decision...
jer979Value. Happiness.
I feel happy. It's fun, it's light, like a feather floating at the beginning of Forrest Gump. But, like the feather, it's not grounded. It can flitter and float away. Value is also ephemeral. We know it when we see it. We feel it, somewhere deep inside. Something connects to us, saying "yes, this is worth it." The "it" that it's worth is energy. Energy in the form of time, attention, money. The things of which our possession is limited. There's a reason why all the great traditions point to "...
jer979Coffee with AI
Every day for the past month, I’ve had a coffee date with AI. I literally sit down, with a cup of coffee, with an appointment on my calendar that says “coffee with AI”. During that time, AI (I’ve used ChatGPT, Gemini, Perplexity, Claude, and Venice) and I literally have a chat, the way I would with a friend. It’s not “write this letter for me” or “do this or that.” No, it’s a chance for us to have a conversation about whatever topic I want. Many days, recently, at least, it’s been about quant...
www.twitter.com/jer979
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