jer979Purpose Struggle
Yesterday, I decided that my blogging career should come to an end. I was doing myself a disservice. I told myself that the goal of the posts was to dig deeper, peel back the layers, get down to the core. But by publishing online (or on-chain as the case may be), I was subconsciously writing for others, even if I told myself that I didn't care if others read. So, in an effort to be more authentic, I figured I'd stop publishing and start doing a private journal. Within 2 hours of that decision...
jer979Value. Happiness.
I feel happy. It's fun, it's light, like a feather floating at the beginning of Forrest Gump. But, like the feather, it's not grounded. It can flitter and float away. Value is also ephemeral. We know it when we see it. We feel it, somewhere deep inside. Something connects to us, saying "yes, this is worth it." The "it" that it's worth is energy. Energy in the form of time, attention, money. The things of which our possession is limited. There's a reason why all the great traditions point to "...
jer979Coffee with AI
Every day for the past month, I’ve had a coffee date with AI. I literally sit down, with a cup of coffee, with an appointment on my calendar that says “coffee with AI”. During that time, AI (I’ve used ChatGPT, Gemini, Perplexity, Claude, and Venice) and I literally have a chat, the way I would with a friend. It’s not “write this letter for me” or “do this or that.” No, it’s a chance for us to have a conversation about whatever topic I want. Many days, recently, at least, it’s been about quant...
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jer979Fear Comfort
Support jer979
jer979Fear Comfort
jer979Purpose Struggle
Yesterday, I decided that my blogging career should come to an end. I was doing myself a disservice. I told myself that the goal of the posts was to dig deeper, peel back the layers, get down to the core. But by publishing online (or on-chain as the case may be), I was subconsciously writing for others, even if I told myself that I didn't care if others read. So, in an effort to be more authentic, I figured I'd stop publishing and start doing a private journal. Within 2 hours of that decision...
jer979Value. Happiness.
I feel happy. It's fun, it's light, like a feather floating at the beginning of Forrest Gump. But, like the feather, it's not grounded. It can flitter and float away. Value is also ephemeral. We know it when we see it. We feel it, somewhere deep inside. Something connects to us, saying "yes, this is worth it." The "it" that it's worth is energy. Energy in the form of time, attention, money. The things of which our possession is limited. There's a reason why all the great traditions point to "...
jer979Coffee with AI
Every day for the past month, I’ve had a coffee date with AI. I literally sit down, with a cup of coffee, with an appointment on my calendar that says “coffee with AI”. During that time, AI (I’ve used ChatGPT, Gemini, Perplexity, Claude, and Venice) and I literally have a chat, the way I would with a friend. It’s not “write this letter for me” or “do this or that.” No, it’s a chance for us to have a conversation about whatever topic I want. Many days, recently, at least, it’s been about quant...
www.twitter.com/jer979
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Sitting like a round stone, it pulls me down.
Behind my solar plexus.
Like the tension of a muscular knot.
There’s an invisible weight that I carry.
It’s a fear, a terror, of scarcity.
Of not having enough.
Of running out.
And around me, there’s an energy field. Almost like you’d see in a movie.
It’s an energy field of fear.
Constricting me, it tells me…”you always need to be afraid, afraid of not having enough, of running out.”
There’s a survival thing going on, I suspect. Some of its physical.
But I wonder if some of it is ego?
I wonder if the fear of not having enough is connected to a sense of dignity? Of identity?
What I really wonder is: since that “stone” and that “energy field” are nothing more than figments of my imagination-they aren’t real-what would happen if I simply decided that I no longer wanted or needed them?
I’m actually a little-no, a lot-afraid of that.
It feels like it could be a type of freedom.
Maybe even better than I could really even imagine.
And, yet, I’m afraid of taking that step.
Feels ironic.
Sitting like a round stone, it pulls me down.
Behind my solar plexus.
Like the tension of a muscular knot.
There’s an invisible weight that I carry.
It’s a fear, a terror, of scarcity.
Of not having enough.
Of running out.
And around me, there’s an energy field. Almost like you’d see in a movie.
It’s an energy field of fear.
Constricting me, it tells me…”you always need to be afraid, afraid of not having enough, of running out.”
There’s a survival thing going on, I suspect. Some of its physical.
But I wonder if some of it is ego?
I wonder if the fear of not having enough is connected to a sense of dignity? Of identity?
What I really wonder is: since that “stone” and that “energy field” are nothing more than figments of my imagination-they aren’t real-what would happen if I simply decided that I no longer wanted or needed them?
I’m actually a little-no, a lot-afraid of that.
It feels like it could be a type of freedom.
Maybe even better than I could really even imagine.
And, yet, I’m afraid of taking that step.
Feels ironic.
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