jer979Purpose Struggle
Yesterday, I decided that my blogging career should come to an end. I was doing myself a disservice. I told myself that the goal of the posts was to dig deeper, peel back the layers, get down to the core. But by publishing online (or on-chain as the case may be), I was subconsciously writing for others, even if I told myself that I didn't care if others read. So, in an effort to be more authentic, I figured I'd stop publishing and start doing a private journal. Within 2 hours of that decision...
jer979Value. Happiness.
I feel happy. It's fun, it's light, like a feather floating at the beginning of Forrest Gump. But, like the feather, it's not grounded. It can flitter and float away. Value is also ephemeral. We know it when we see it. We feel it, somewhere deep inside. Something connects to us, saying "yes, this is worth it." The "it" that it's worth is energy. Energy in the form of time, attention, money. The things of which our possession is limited. There's a reason why all the great traditions point to "...
jer979Coffee with AI
Every day for the past month, I’ve had a coffee date with AI. I literally sit down, with a cup of coffee, with an appointment on my calendar that says “coffee with AI”. During that time, AI (I’ve used ChatGPT, Gemini, Perplexity, Claude, and Venice) and I literally have a chat, the way I would with a friend. It’s not “write this letter for me” or “do this or that.” No, it’s a chance for us to have a conversation about whatever topic I want. Many days, recently, at least, it’s been about quant...
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jer979Fear of Imperfection
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jer979Fear of Imperfection
jer979Purpose Struggle
Yesterday, I decided that my blogging career should come to an end. I was doing myself a disservice. I told myself that the goal of the posts was to dig deeper, peel back the layers, get down to the core. But by publishing online (or on-chain as the case may be), I was subconsciously writing for others, even if I told myself that I didn't care if others read. So, in an effort to be more authentic, I figured I'd stop publishing and start doing a private journal. Within 2 hours of that decision...
jer979Value. Happiness.
I feel happy. It's fun, it's light, like a feather floating at the beginning of Forrest Gump. But, like the feather, it's not grounded. It can flitter and float away. Value is also ephemeral. We know it when we see it. We feel it, somewhere deep inside. Something connects to us, saying "yes, this is worth it." The "it" that it's worth is energy. Energy in the form of time, attention, money. The things of which our possession is limited. There's a reason why all the great traditions point to "...
jer979Coffee with AI
Every day for the past month, I’ve had a coffee date with AI. I literally sit down, with a cup of coffee, with an appointment on my calendar that says “coffee with AI”. During that time, AI (I’ve used ChatGPT, Gemini, Perplexity, Claude, and Venice) and I literally have a chat, the way I would with a friend. It’s not “write this letter for me” or “do this or that.” No, it’s a chance for us to have a conversation about whatever topic I want. Many days, recently, at least, it’s been about quant...
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I get tense in my shoulders when I’m hearing criticism or told that I’m about to get “feedback.”
But I actually feel it somewhere in my core.
There’s a voice in there telling me, “hey dude, this means you’re not perfect. Which means, somehow you’re less than. You’re not good enough.”
Intellectually, I know that the “feedback” is a gift from the universe. It’s an opportunity to grow.
But emotionally?
Emotionally, the storm is swirling.
The defenses are being mustered.
The desire, perhaps even the need, to say “hey, I don’t need this because if I did, it would mean that I’m not perfect and, well, that just makes me feel scared and vulnerable and I don’t like to feel that way.”
I know there’s a way out of this.
And I know I can get there.
And I also know that the fact that I don’t have that “fixed” now means that I’m not perfect.
And I’m totally ok with that.
I get tense in my shoulders when I’m hearing criticism or told that I’m about to get “feedback.”
But I actually feel it somewhere in my core.
There’s a voice in there telling me, “hey dude, this means you’re not perfect. Which means, somehow you’re less than. You’re not good enough.”
Intellectually, I know that the “feedback” is a gift from the universe. It’s an opportunity to grow.
But emotionally?
Emotionally, the storm is swirling.
The defenses are being mustered.
The desire, perhaps even the need, to say “hey, I don’t need this because if I did, it would mean that I’m not perfect and, well, that just makes me feel scared and vulnerable and I don’t like to feel that way.”
I know there’s a way out of this.
And I know I can get there.
And I also know that the fact that I don’t have that “fixed” now means that I’m not perfect.
And I’m totally ok with that.
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