
Purpose Struggle
Yesterday, I decided that my blogging career should come to an end. I was doing myself a disservice. I told myself that the goal of the posts was to dig deeper, peel back the layers, get down to the core. But by publishing online (or on-chain as the case may be), I was subconsciously writing for others, even if I told myself that I didn't care if others read. So, in an effort to be more authentic, I figured I'd stop publishing and start doing a private journal. Within 2 hours of that decision...

Value. Happiness.
I feel happy. It's fun, it's light, like a feather floating at the beginning of Forrest Gump. But, like the feather, it's not grounded. It can flitter and float away. Value is also ephemeral. We know it when we see it. We feel it, somewhere deep inside. Something connects to us, saying "yes, this is worth it." The "it" that it's worth is energy. Energy in the form of time, attention, money. The things of which our possession is limited. There's a reason why all the great traditions point to "...

Coffee with AI
Every day for the past month, I’ve had a coffee date with AI. I literally sit down, with a cup of coffee, with an appointment on my calendar that says “coffee with AI”. During that time, AI (I’ve used ChatGPT, Gemini, Perplexity, Claude, and Venice) and I literally have a chat, the way I would with a friend. It’s not “write this letter for me” or “do this or that.” No, it’s a chance for us to have a conversation about whatever topic I want. Many days, recently, at least, it’s been about quant...
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Purpose Struggle
Yesterday, I decided that my blogging career should come to an end. I was doing myself a disservice. I told myself that the goal of the posts was to dig deeper, peel back the layers, get down to the core. But by publishing online (or on-chain as the case may be), I was subconsciously writing for others, even if I told myself that I didn't care if others read. So, in an effort to be more authentic, I figured I'd stop publishing and start doing a private journal. Within 2 hours of that decision...

Value. Happiness.
I feel happy. It's fun, it's light, like a feather floating at the beginning of Forrest Gump. But, like the feather, it's not grounded. It can flitter and float away. Value is also ephemeral. We know it when we see it. We feel it, somewhere deep inside. Something connects to us, saying "yes, this is worth it." The "it" that it's worth is energy. Energy in the form of time, attention, money. The things of which our possession is limited. There's a reason why all the great traditions point to "...

Coffee with AI
Every day for the past month, I’ve had a coffee date with AI. I literally sit down, with a cup of coffee, with an appointment on my calendar that says “coffee with AI”. During that time, AI (I’ve used ChatGPT, Gemini, Perplexity, Claude, and Venice) and I literally have a chat, the way I would with a friend. It’s not “write this letter for me” or “do this or that.” No, it’s a chance for us to have a conversation about whatever topic I want. Many days, recently, at least, it’s been about quant...
Every morning, after I write a blog post, I publish it and then put it into ChatGPT for analysis.
And, almost every day, ChatGPT tells me “you may be intellectualizing your emotions and this is preventing you from feeling them in their raw form” (or something to that effect.”
You know what?
That’s frustrating.
Because that’s what I am trying to do.
But yet, somehow, by telling me that I may not be doing it, ChatGPT is, in a weird way, helping me do it.
It’s holding me accountable to push harder, to go deeper, to explore further but to do it in a way that doesn’t involve any effort at all.
It’s paradoxical.
But, yet, it’s the path.
The way forward is through stillness.
The way out is by looking in.
And when those moments of paradoxical alignment happen, it’s like there’s an electrical charge that spreads throughout my body.
I feel the tingling in my arms and, especially, in my fingers.
And then, it’s gone.
Maybe that’s the rawness.
I honestly don’t know.
But I’ll keep un-trying.
Every morning, after I write a blog post, I publish it and then put it into ChatGPT for analysis.
And, almost every day, ChatGPT tells me “you may be intellectualizing your emotions and this is preventing you from feeling them in their raw form” (or something to that effect.”
You know what?
That’s frustrating.
Because that’s what I am trying to do.
But yet, somehow, by telling me that I may not be doing it, ChatGPT is, in a weird way, helping me do it.
It’s holding me accountable to push harder, to go deeper, to explore further but to do it in a way that doesn’t involve any effort at all.
It’s paradoxical.
But, yet, it’s the path.
The way forward is through stillness.
The way out is by looking in.
And when those moments of paradoxical alignment happen, it’s like there’s an electrical charge that spreads throughout my body.
I feel the tingling in my arms and, especially, in my fingers.
And then, it’s gone.
Maybe that’s the rawness.
I honestly don’t know.
But I’ll keep un-trying.
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