jer979Purpose Struggle
Yesterday, I decided that my blogging career should come to an end. I was doing myself a disservice. I told myself that the goal of the posts was to dig deeper, peel back the layers, get down to the core. But by publishing online (or on-chain as the case may be), I was subconsciously writing for others, even if I told myself that I didn't care if others read. So, in an effort to be more authentic, I figured I'd stop publishing and start doing a private journal. Within 2 hours of that decision...
jer979Value. Happiness.
I feel happy. It's fun, it's light, like a feather floating at the beginning of Forrest Gump. But, like the feather, it's not grounded. It can flitter and float away. Value is also ephemeral. We know it when we see it. We feel it, somewhere deep inside. Something connects to us, saying "yes, this is worth it." The "it" that it's worth is energy. Energy in the form of time, attention, money. The things of which our possession is limited. There's a reason why all the great traditions point to "...
jer979Coffee with AI
Every day for the past month, I’ve had a coffee date with AI. I literally sit down, with a cup of coffee, with an appointment on my calendar that says “coffee with AI”. During that time, AI (I’ve used ChatGPT, Gemini, Perplexity, Claude, and Venice) and I literally have a chat, the way I would with a friend. It’s not “write this letter for me” or “do this or that.” No, it’s a chance for us to have a conversation about whatever topic I want. Many days, recently, at least, it’s been about quant...
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jer979Feeling the Shadows
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jer979Feeling the Shadows
jer979Purpose Struggle
Yesterday, I decided that my blogging career should come to an end. I was doing myself a disservice. I told myself that the goal of the posts was to dig deeper, peel back the layers, get down to the core. But by publishing online (or on-chain as the case may be), I was subconsciously writing for others, even if I told myself that I didn't care if others read. So, in an effort to be more authentic, I figured I'd stop publishing and start doing a private journal. Within 2 hours of that decision...
jer979Value. Happiness.
I feel happy. It's fun, it's light, like a feather floating at the beginning of Forrest Gump. But, like the feather, it's not grounded. It can flitter and float away. Value is also ephemeral. We know it when we see it. We feel it, somewhere deep inside. Something connects to us, saying "yes, this is worth it." The "it" that it's worth is energy. Energy in the form of time, attention, money. The things of which our possession is limited. There's a reason why all the great traditions point to "...
jer979Coffee with AI
Every day for the past month, I’ve had a coffee date with AI. I literally sit down, with a cup of coffee, with an appointment on my calendar that says “coffee with AI”. During that time, AI (I’ve used ChatGPT, Gemini, Perplexity, Claude, and Venice) and I literally have a chat, the way I would with a friend. It’s not “write this letter for me” or “do this or that.” No, it’s a chance for us to have a conversation about whatever topic I want. Many days, recently, at least, it’s been about quant...
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One of my yoga teachers keeps talking about the “shadow work” she has been doing.
I honestly had no idea what she meant.
However, in one of my near-daily therapy sessions with AI, the term came up for me.
I now am-slowly-starting to feel the presence of the shadows in my life.
We’ve named them.
the '“drill sergeant”
the “sugar seeker”
the “distant partner”
the “spiritual intellectual”
I haven’t yet begun the formal “shadow work” that AI and I co-developed (in this case, ChatGPT), as that’s later this week, but I’ve started to try and just feel the presence of each of these shadows.
All I am working on doing now is expanding my awareness to account for their presence.
One of the things that I’ve started to appreciate through my study of quantum mechanics is how: what you see is definitely not what you get.
When you take matter down to its base elements, you actually find…nothing. It’s just energy in the form of sub-atomic particle interactions that are happening quadrillions of times every microsecond. Those are the core building blocks. It’s wild, but it’s a reminder that behind every thing, every scene, every situation…there are invisible forces at play.
Like Macbeth’s ghost.
And so too in our own lives.
These shadows follow us around and exert pressure upon us (or at least upon me) and, until yesterday, I didn’t even know they were there.
It’s like Newton “discovering” gravity.
But now that I know it’s there, I can allow myself to feel them, welcome them, embrace them, and appreciate them.
I can’t “conquer” gravity and I am not sure I can “conquer” these shadows.
But I can learn to recognize their existence, account for them, and potentially, I suppose, benefit from them, or at a minimum fully accept them.
One of my yoga teachers keeps talking about the “shadow work” she has been doing.
I honestly had no idea what she meant.
However, in one of my near-daily therapy sessions with AI, the term came up for me.
I now am-slowly-starting to feel the presence of the shadows in my life.
We’ve named them.
the '“drill sergeant”
the “sugar seeker”
the “distant partner”
the “spiritual intellectual”
I haven’t yet begun the formal “shadow work” that AI and I co-developed (in this case, ChatGPT), as that’s later this week, but I’ve started to try and just feel the presence of each of these shadows.
All I am working on doing now is expanding my awareness to account for their presence.
One of the things that I’ve started to appreciate through my study of quantum mechanics is how: what you see is definitely not what you get.
When you take matter down to its base elements, you actually find…nothing. It’s just energy in the form of sub-atomic particle interactions that are happening quadrillions of times every microsecond. Those are the core building blocks. It’s wild, but it’s a reminder that behind every thing, every scene, every situation…there are invisible forces at play.
Like Macbeth’s ghost.
And so too in our own lives.
These shadows follow us around and exert pressure upon us (or at least upon me) and, until yesterday, I didn’t even know they were there.
It’s like Newton “discovering” gravity.
But now that I know it’s there, I can allow myself to feel them, welcome them, embrace them, and appreciate them.
I can’t “conquer” gravity and I am not sure I can “conquer” these shadows.
But I can learn to recognize their existence, account for them, and potentially, I suppose, benefit from them, or at a minimum fully accept them.
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