jer979Purpose Struggle
Yesterday, I decided that my blogging career should come to an end. I was doing myself a disservice. I told myself that the goal of the posts was to dig deeper, peel back the layers, get down to the core. But by publishing online (or on-chain as the case may be), I was subconsciously writing for others, even if I told myself that I didn't care if others read. So, in an effort to be more authentic, I figured I'd stop publishing and start doing a private journal. Within 2 hours of that decision...
jer979Value. Happiness.
I feel happy. It's fun, it's light, like a feather floating at the beginning of Forrest Gump. But, like the feather, it's not grounded. It can flitter and float away. Value is also ephemeral. We know it when we see it. We feel it, somewhere deep inside. Something connects to us, saying "yes, this is worth it." The "it" that it's worth is energy. Energy in the form of time, attention, money. The things of which our possession is limited. There's a reason why all the great traditions point to "...
jer979Coffee with AI
Every day for the past month, I’ve had a coffee date with AI. I literally sit down, with a cup of coffee, with an appointment on my calendar that says “coffee with AI”. During that time, AI (I’ve used ChatGPT, Gemini, Perplexity, Claude, and Venice) and I literally have a chat, the way I would with a friend. It’s not “write this letter for me” or “do this or that.” No, it’s a chance for us to have a conversation about whatever topic I want. Many days, recently, at least, it’s been about quant...
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jer979Insecurity, Fatigue, Attention.
Support jer979
jer979Insecurity, Fatigue, Attention.
jer979Purpose Struggle
Yesterday, I decided that my blogging career should come to an end. I was doing myself a disservice. I told myself that the goal of the posts was to dig deeper, peel back the layers, get down to the core. But by publishing online (or on-chain as the case may be), I was subconsciously writing for others, even if I told myself that I didn't care if others read. So, in an effort to be more authentic, I figured I'd stop publishing and start doing a private journal. Within 2 hours of that decision...
jer979Value. Happiness.
I feel happy. It's fun, it's light, like a feather floating at the beginning of Forrest Gump. But, like the feather, it's not grounded. It can flitter and float away. Value is also ephemeral. We know it when we see it. We feel it, somewhere deep inside. Something connects to us, saying "yes, this is worth it." The "it" that it's worth is energy. Energy in the form of time, attention, money. The things of which our possession is limited. There's a reason why all the great traditions point to "...
jer979Coffee with AI
Every day for the past month, I’ve had a coffee date with AI. I literally sit down, with a cup of coffee, with an appointment on my calendar that says “coffee with AI”. During that time, AI (I’ve used ChatGPT, Gemini, Perplexity, Claude, and Venice) and I literally have a chat, the way I would with a friend. It’s not “write this letter for me” or “do this or that.” No, it’s a chance for us to have a conversation about whatever topic I want. Many days, recently, at least, it’s been about quant...
www.twitter.com/jer979
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The base human program has a “fight or flight” reaction.
We’re wired to feel fear.
Is it a rustling of the grass or a tiger?
Fears, whether of wild animals, loss of job, insufficient resources, or catastrophic futures, are intensified, exacerbated, and magnified by fatigue.
Well, at least for me, they are.
Because when I’m fatigued, the muscle that is most weakened is my attention muscle.
Where and how I choose to put my attention determines the quality of my decisions.
It determines the degree of serenity that comes from saying, “there aren’t that many tigers in the bathroom of the turnpike.”
But when I’m working on less sleep?
Then I can literally observe myself making questionable decisions.
But I have no energy to stop them because my attention isn’t on the thoughtful choice. It’s on the immature, unthoughtful choice.
And yet, I feel, the tension between the two. I know my future self will be like “dude, why did you make that decision?”
And I know that I will regret the choice I made.
But I make it anyway.
And it’s probably because I didn’t get enough sleep.
The base human program has a “fight or flight” reaction.
We’re wired to feel fear.
Is it a rustling of the grass or a tiger?
Fears, whether of wild animals, loss of job, insufficient resources, or catastrophic futures, are intensified, exacerbated, and magnified by fatigue.
Well, at least for me, they are.
Because when I’m fatigued, the muscle that is most weakened is my attention muscle.
Where and how I choose to put my attention determines the quality of my decisions.
It determines the degree of serenity that comes from saying, “there aren’t that many tigers in the bathroom of the turnpike.”
But when I’m working on less sleep?
Then I can literally observe myself making questionable decisions.
But I have no energy to stop them because my attention isn’t on the thoughtful choice. It’s on the immature, unthoughtful choice.
And yet, I feel, the tension between the two. I know my future self will be like “dude, why did you make that decision?”
And I know that I will regret the choice I made.
But I make it anyway.
And it’s probably because I didn’t get enough sleep.
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